Lack Of Support During Withdrawal?
#1
Posted 28 October 2020 - 02:07 AM
The journey started rough where I tried to stop cold turkey and I stumbled upon this website where I started again and started counting beads. I am now completely off of it entirely but I am a mess.
I am irrationally angry, crying a lot, have suicidal thoughts,brain zaps, everything under the sun. I had to leave work today because I just couldn't pull myself together enough to function at work and be nice to people.
My main concern is the complete lack of support/empathy I'm experiencing from those around me. I know that the feelings Im experiencing are from withdrawing but all I have heard is to go back on my medication.i have been told there is no shame to be on medication (which I am a huge advocate for mental health and do believe medication has its time and place, I have never been ashamed of medication and have always been open and honest about what I take). I tried talking to my manager about what's going on to maybe see if we could work something out. Instead I got told how "brave I was for trialling different things but I need to think of myself and keeping a balance. I know that [you] don't want to be on medication but if that's what the imbalance needs it sounds like the right way to go"
I feel like I'm going crazy. The feelings I am feeling are not because I'm mentally unwell but because of withdrawals which I have explained over and over again. I could not imagine anyone telling someone coming off of hard drugs to just go back on them because they need to keep it balanced.
I keep getting told to go to my doctor or see a different doctor as if that's not how I spend my time already. They gave me one script for 30mg and basically said Goodluck. He did not even ask why I didn't want to be on it anymore.
I just feel alone. My brain isn't my own and it feels like everyone is pushing me into this box of mental illness when these are physiological symptoms. I'm not the person I was when I started this journey six years ago but it feels like this small snapshot people are seeing is somehow justification that I'm back at square one.
I have over 70hrs of annual leave (AUS) however I don't even know how to broach the subject of using some of it to help me at this current time. This is largely because this time last year I was in a severe depressive episode due to extreme circumstances and it's like a repeat.
I feel alone and as if I'm some mentally unwell human who needs to be jammed into a box to suit the needs of others.
- Lovey likes this
#2
Posted 28 October 2020 - 07:44 AM
#3
Posted 28 October 2020 - 07:50 AM
Welcome Cermet
Unluckily this is a fairly common story. What is particularly sad is that the drs are not that sympathetic for the most part. They should know the possible severity of antidepressant withdrawal. I certainly have 'fired' my share of drs in my time until I could finally find one that could deal with these issues. When you look at the medical journals there is a lot of research into psych meds but little information into their withdrawal characteristics.
I just saw IUN's post and would agree we need to take a look on getting you on some supplements to help until you start to recover.
Have you looked at some of the supplement info in the ebook?
- Lovey likes this
#5
Posted 28 October 2020 - 11:51 AM
Hi Cermet! what you are describing is exactly what I went through, it is the withdrawal. Its not going to be easy. everyone is different, so hopefully you are one of the lucky ones, but you need to prepare yourself for a long difficult recovery. its all about patience and acceptance, but you will get better. I'm still having a lot of issues a year off of the stuff, but I've made a ton of progress and continue to get better. the recovery isn't linear so it can be frustrating. you will have waves where things are really tough and windows where you will feel better. try not to be too frustrated when the windows end. we are here for support if you need us. I don't know how many times I've come here for reassurance when times were tough. hang in there.
- Lovey and invalidusername like this
#6
Posted 28 October 2020 - 02:35 PM
Hi Cermet
I was really fortunate to receive a lot of personal support when I was in the worst, darkest part of my withdrawal, but it was still extremely difficult to be taken seriously by doctors. I had some doctors who acknowledged that Cymbalta had a withdrawal but had never seen someone deal with it for as long as I had. And then other doctors, some very respectable!, who told me that Cymbalta was probably helping me with some underlying anxiety I didn't even know I had and that now it was all coming to the surface (total BS). It was a scary time and made me feel like a complete stranger in my own mind and body.
This forum was incredibly affirming and I remember in those dark times logging on here dozens of times a day and reading every single post looking for people with similar experiences to mine trying to find any indication of how long this takes or what to expect, because no one in the medical community was able to offer me the solace that I was not in fact permanently broken.
You didn't mention in your post when you came off the Cymbalta. Hopefully it wasn't too long ago which means you will probably be feeling progressively better very soon. Unlike a broken leg or arm, the brain doesn't seem to heal in a linear way and you may find that you feel better and then feel worse before feeling better again. BUT whether it takes a short time or a long time you WILL get better.
I don't know why you were on any of these medications in the first place, but unless medication prevents you from being a danger to yourself or others, I think it's a very personal choice. It's very insensitive for people to question your desire to live life unmedicated.
We're here for you! Welcome!
- Lovey likes this
#7
Posted 28 October 2020 - 06:19 PM
I love it when our little family pulls together in helping here.
Makes me proud to be a part of it - regardless of my "length of service" here, everyone is so important here in giving their own take on things in their own way.
Love you guys!
- fishinghat, Lovey and Mxpro32 like this
#8
Posted 28 October 2020 - 08:02 PM
I was on 60mg for the last six years and I went off it could turkey for a totally of three days before I took a 30mg. Then I tried to basically expand the time as long as possible before taking another tablet but I could only manage three days in a row with nothing before taking a tablet. I found this forum and read the ebook and a lot or people's posts about what was happening. From this I started taking 30mg daily for two weeks. I individually opened the capsuals and counted them out. I was on 15mg for another two weeks. It has now been seven days since I've taken any tablets.
It seems incredibly quick and I completely understand if it seems like too much but I want to just say that this way has been the most successful. When I tried cold turkey it was impossible. When I halfed the tablets and then stopped at 15mg what I experienced to begin was not even at the same level. I have definitely had physical symptoms of the brain zaps and nausea (however I have some other medical issues where I suffer from nausea regularly so it's really not much of a change) but that seems to be the worst physically. Emotionally has been much more difficult. I have been angry a lot, for no real good reason. Crying over any thing minor and then straight back to being okay.
Today seems like a better day, the hardest for me is my support system. I have a partner who needs a lot of support at the moment for his issues. My sister has moved in with us and needs a lot of support for her issues. I have a roommate who is my partner's friend who lost his job through covid and needs support as well. For the most part I have to be the functioning adult for those living in my house otherwise we would be homeless. We currently have to move because the owner is selling our house. I also sent an incredibly long message to my boss to explain what's going on and have requested annual leave for the rest of the week.
I have to do a lot of CBT regularly to stay on top of what is happening and I read a look of books on self help and trauma. I exercise twice a day and try to eat relatively healthy. I know I have it good in comparison to others. I know I'm not alone and if I reach out and communicate a bit better I can have support. For the most part it's just the feeling of being lonely won't ever go away, and that seems to be the hardest bit for me to try and push through to make it to a better day.
I do read each and every post and reply on here, I don't usually respond but it is comforting to see that it's not just me. I really do commend you guys for commenting on everything. For me I know I would have felt even lonelier if there was no reply. Thank you each for what you do and the time you put in to talk to each one of us.
- Lovey likes this
#9
Posted 28 October 2020 - 08:05 PM
#10
Posted 29 October 2020 - 08:08 AM
St. John's Wort would help but it is a weak ssri antidepressant which has its own withdrawal. there is more detailed info in the ebook on it.
I will try and post a document on what has helped the most with members. Not a complete list but just those items that seemed to have the best effect.
#11
Posted 29 October 2020 - 08:15 AM
#12
Posted 29 October 2020 - 03:16 PM
#13
Posted 30 October 2020 - 08:49 AM
#15
Posted 30 October 2023 - 12:20 AM
"Items Proven to Help Many with Cymbalta Withdrawal.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Diphenhydramine, (over the counter) also known as Benadryl, is an antihistamine and as such is not only used for allergies/colds but also as a sleep aide. It does have a mild anxiolytic effect. May lower blood pressure and cause irregular heartbeats. Your body does build up tolerance to it after a few weeks. This medicine has many drug interactions.Begins working in 15 to 30 minutesPeak levels - 2 to 2.5 hrsHalf Life – 4 to 6 hrsUse by members for anxiety releif and to help sleep is too numerous to mention.Diphenhydramine should NOT be taken with hydroxyzine. Drugs.comserendipity - I found Benadryl to produce hangover effects, and cause palpitations when taken long term. Even if you wake up in the middle of the night, and can't get back to sleep, even a teeny amount (say, 15mg) can induce sleep again.Schmb - Benadryl worked on a limited basis for me, because sometimes it makes me jittery, and that only made the zaps much worse, so just use some caution in case you are sensitive to it.FH - One caution on benadryl. It is famous for bad reactions with other medicine so check your compatability closely. The maximum dosage of benadryl is 25 to 50 mg every 4 to 6 hours and do not surpass 300 mg in a day.Benadryl TotalMedicinal ingredients:•Acetaminophen, 500 mg•Diphenhydramine Hydrochloride, 25 mg•Pseudoephedrine Hydrochloride, 30 mgIt contains diphenhydramine which is the active ingredient in regular Benadryl and also pseudoephedrine which is common in most cold medicines. The Diphenhydramine helps with sleep and anxiety and the pseudoephedrine helps block the action of adrenaline which produces a calming effect.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Omega 3Dose - Omega 3 is recommended at 2000 mg/day EPA and DHA for anxiety, give or take a couple hundred depending on what research you read. It has been shown that only the EPA and DHA components effect anxiety. Any other omega 3 fatty acids don't do anything for anxiety. Life Extensions, Mega EPA/DHA, is distilled (molecularly purified) so you don't get any impurities with your product plus it contains no mercury. Some even provide a certificate of analysis if requested. They also have ones that are enteric coated now that will not irritate the digestive track and has no fish burbs to them.This thread contains a detailed discussion on use of Omega 3.Also this thread....Fishinghat - Omega 3 fish oils can be very high in mercury depending on the type of fish used. Some have tested at over 300 ppm mercury. There are brands out there that are mercury free or low mercury guaranteed. Something to think about. If you have thyroid issues they usually contain high iodine concentrations also. One member had an episode of high iodine toxicity I couldn't find a iodine free product. If your thyroid is fine then this should not be an issue.WarningArrhythmiasOmega 33 Grams of omega 3 per day can worsen cardiac arrythmias.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------MelatoninFH - a research article where it was shown that taking 0.7 mg of liquid melatonin under the tongue (sublingual) helps with anxiety. Place it under the tongue until dissolved and gone. In case you are not familiar with melatonin it is the chemical your body produces in the evening to make you sleepy and ready for bed.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------GatoradeMany members found Gatorade to be considerable help in fighting most withdrawal symptoms, especially the green gatorade.Kindorf - Also I have been avoiding caffeine so I cut out my coffee and sweet tea.I replaced then with fruit juice, ( mainly apple juice ) water and Gatorade. Today no stomach cramps I think they are done. No diarrhea, Lord I hope that is gone.Judy - I knew that Gatorade helped with the light-headed, "floating brain" feelings.watchdog - Drinks LOTS of GREEN gatorade..... don't know what the deal is, but it helps.wiraz - Drink at least one G2 Gatorade a day – stay away from the full sugar version, leads to a higher chance of diarrhea. I drink one 32 oz bottle every day plus tons of water!!caroline - Vit E also for head and joints and then Gatorade's G2. I didn't want the sugars so I went with the G2Rafael - I have mild brain zaps but I believe the omega 3 Fish Oil and Gatorade are helping.Sandlion - I took fish oil/other Omega 3 and also found that Gatorade helped -- maybe it's the salt replacement after all the nightsweats.guppie - I'm a month off the drug so only minor zaps now and then. Whoever gave the gatorade advice is a genius. That treats them instantly (make sure you get the low calorie gatorade since regular is high calorie). Brain zaps are minor. I grab a gatorade and that gets rid of those for a bit (electrolytes).Alisha - gatorade-had one of the big bottles yesterday and it did seem to help,Vinvin - The Fierce Green Apple Gatorade, Dramamine and Boylan's Ginger Ale seem to help out as wellSummary - Many members mentioned drinking Gatorade for the electrolytes after diarrhea, night sweats and when having brain zaps. G2 was often mentioned because it has no sugar (not true, see below). Also, it was suggested that one should not just rely on Gatorade alone for hydrated but should also drink plenti of water. Green Gatorade is highly recommended by some members. Vitylite and Powerade were also mentioned a couple times for electrolytes. I would also recommend Isopure as it comes with and without sugars and proteins with a similar amount and type of electrolytes as Gatorade.G2 Gatorade - It has the same amount of sugar as regular Gatorade and nearly all the same ingredients and electrolytes.Gatorade Fierce Green Apple Sports Drink - This may be the "green gatorade" that members spoke of. It contains malic acid, the active ingredient in apple cider vinager which has proved so helpful to other members. Other ingredients are the same.Isopure Zero Carbs - No sugar, with some calcium. Contains Malic acidIsopure Mass - With sugar and proteins, with calcium, Contains Malic acidIsopure zero carb with proteins - no sugar, contains proteins. With calcium Contains Malic acidSparkybird - I’ve found that Pur Aqua Sparkling Frost in any flavor has malic acid. I discovered it by accident. It is only 50 cents at Aldi’s. It is only 10 calories a bottle.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------L-theanineL-theanine is an amino acid precursor to glutamate (involved in the synthesis of GABA) and glutamine. It can cross the blood brain barrier. It is only produced by plants and fungi and a component in some teas. It inhibits glutamine transporters and glutamate transporters, and thus blocks the reuptake of glutamine and glutamate. Theanine increases serotonin, dopamine, GABA, and glycine levels in various areas of the brain. Caution – Most plants that contain L-theanine also contain caffeine and it can be a significant contaminant in L-theanine supplements. It is synthesized from glutamate using the enzyme glutamate decarboxylase and pyridoxal phosphate (which is the active form of vitamin B6) as a cofactor. This process converts glutamate, the principal excitatory neurotransmitter, into the principal inhibitory neurotransmitter (GABA).Member's comments(puritan's pride) 200 mg capsules 2- 3/ day. I have been taking this prior to cymbalta detox. It helped me reduce my dosage of clonazepam. Within 20-30 mins I feel more calm. I do believe it is helping keep the anxiety in check.Tinabee - For now I have started taking fish oil and a supplement called Theanine Serene that is supposed to help with anxiety. I know it sounds silly since I've only taken the anxiety supplement for a couple days but I really feel like it has helped.200mg L-Theanine in the morning with a full glass of water on an empty stomach, you can take again in late afternoon 100 to 200 mg if needed (make sure it is suntheanine - it helps with headaches and pain as any painkiller I had just did not cut it)Member's comments were generally favorable.Page 1 and 2, detailed information on L theanine and its usage.ResearchThe research shows that all green tea leaves contain both L-theanine and D- theanine BUT only the special processing used by the manufacturer produces pure L-Theanine and is the choice of many of the research biologists.Five of the six products contained significant amounts of D-theanine. Only one product, SunTheanine, appeared to contain only the L-theanine enantiomer. D-theanine is not used by the humnn body. Suntheanine is the pure ingredient and that is what you want.Key PointsTheanine increases serotonin, dopamine, GABA, and glycine levels in various areas of the brain.Scientific InformationA National Standard monograph that reviews current research on theanine reports that it is likely safe in doses of 200–250 mg up to a maximum daily dose of 1,200 mg. Theanine is used to help with anxiety, blood pressure control, mood, and cognition.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Nutritional Blood Tests for Causes for Anxiety and/or Depression.Items proceeded by an asterisk are analysis that are routinely performed by many Psychiatrists. Those proceeded by two astericks are ones that members have found to cause anxiety and/or depression.Omega 3 and 6Amino Acidsto include...**TryptophanThreonineIsoleucineMethioninePhenylalanineTyrosineVitaminsto include...C** *DE*B vitamins (**B-6)MineralsCalciumIron**MagnesiumPotassiumSodium**ZincManganese**SeleniumLipid ProfileCholesterolTriglyceridesMisc.CholineFlouridePsychiatrists also often perform the following tests**Testosterone**Estrogen*Thyroid Function*Liver Function - (FH - The AD manufacturers usually recommend an annual Liver Function Test (LFT) to keep an eye on that issue.Parathyroid FunctionPituitary FunctionAn increasing number of psychiatrists are also opting to do a genetic screening for genetic mutations.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Prescription MedsClonidineClonidine (Catapres, Kapvay, Nexiclon, Clophelin) is a classic blood pressure medicine BUT it is very effective on anxiety. It is an alpha adrenergic antagonist which means it stimulates the alpha adrenaline synapses located in the frontal lobes of the brain. When these synapses are stimulated by the clonidine the brain thinks that it is due to adrenaline and it tells the adrenal gland to produce less adrenaline. It is a little slow to kick in, about an hour and a half. It has a 12 hour half life. Most drs prescribe 0.1 mg twice a day. One to be taken about an hour before bedtime and the other in the morning. Because it decreases adrenaline it has a strong calming effect which helps a person get to sleep and stay a sleep. It is not unusual for people to have a little drowsiness from clonidine until they get use to it (1 or 2 weeks). It does NOT work faster sublingual (under the tongue) like benzos. These have no withdrawal but your blood pressure may spike for a couple weeks if you cold turkey. Due to the lowering of blood pressure and sleepiness it is common for the patient to start with ½ tablet at bedtime. Once the patient adjusts to the medicine they begin a ½ tablet in the morning. As sleepiness and blood pressure stabilize they are slowly worked up to the 2 tablets (0.1 mg each) a day.Begins working 60 to 90 minutesPeak levels – 3 to 5 hrsHalf Life – 12 - 16 hrsThere are too many research articles on clonidine's anxiolytic properties to list here.FH - I started clonidine but it was a relief to me NOT to be able to feel my heart pound through my chest. As long as your bp is OK you shouldn't have a problem.That is why the slow start up. This gives your heart a chance to adapt to the new med. I did the same slow start up and my bp stayed within normal range. Just keep monitoring your bp and you should be OK.FN - clonidine worked wonders for meHydroxyzine, (Vistaril, Atarax) - is an H(1)R antagonist, is very effective against anxiety in most people but some get no help from it at all. It is not addictive nor does it have withdrawal but it also can lower blood pressure some but that usually goes away with time. This medicine should be started slowly to give your body a chance to adjust to the blood pressure effect. Normal dose is 25 mg four times a day but can go as high as 400mg/day.Begins working in 30 minutes or lessPeak levels - 2 hrsHalf Life – 15 to 20 hrsDo not take with cimetidine as it increases hydroxyzine levels in the blood.(Mayo Clinic)For oral dosage forms (capsules or suspension):⦁ To help control anxiety and tension:⦁ Adults—50 to 100 milligrams (mg) 4 times a day.Atenolol is a beta 1 adrenergic receptor antagonist, also known as a beta blocker. It does not pass through the blood brain barrier which limits its side effects compared to other beta blockers. It has been linked to a higher risk of type 2 diabetes. It may cause drowsiness and lower blood pressure. Typical dosage around 25 mg four times/day. Dosage should be slowly increased.Begins working in 30 minutes to an hourPeak levels – 2 – 4 hrsHalf Life – 6 - 8 hrsSF - So now I am on one. It is called Atilonol (Atenolol?) and calms down your heart rate too.Buspirone (Buspar) is a seratonin 5-HT1A receptor partial agonist and a dopamine antagonist at the receptors. It functions as a weak anti-anxiety medication similar to diazepam in strength (a weak benzo). No withdrawal or tolerance issues. Dosage should be kept low if taking a ssri and/or snri or St. John's Wort as it may cause seratonin syndrome. DO NOT take with grapefruit or grapefruit juice. May lower blood pressure. Typical dosage is 10 to 20 mg three times per day.Begins working 3 to 7 days after begin dosingPeak levels - 1 hrsHalf Life – 2 - 4 hrsBuspar (15mg) and Melatonin (3 mg) yielded the best anti-depressant effect of any combination concentration tested. (See Melatonin below)Buspar and melatonin in combination is anxiolytic.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dos and Don'tsDON'T ...take Omeprazole (Prilosec)Significant drug interactions.omeprazole ↔ citalopramApplies to omeprazole and Celexa (citalopram)Talk to your doctor before using citalopram together with omeprazole. Combining these medications may increase the blood levels of citalopram and increase the risk of certain side effects, including an irregular heart rhythm that may be serious or life-threatening.Caution - Omeprazole causes the increased absorbtion of nearly 500 medications. It should NOT be taken with.....Benzos, Atenolol, Celexa, Lexapro and many other ssri and snri, st. john's wort, etc.take St. John's Wort, 5HTP, tryptophan, SAMe, Dextromethorphan (a cough syrup/cold medicine) with an antidepressant - Serotonin Syndrome.Don't take Stimulants (Make anxiety worse)CaffeineOver-the-counter cold preparations contain phenylpropylamine and pseudoephedrine*Sleep deprivationMarijuana*Magnesium*MSGAlcoholStressamphetaminesecstasynicotineGinsengL-TyrosineB Vitamins*aspartameCoconut OilTaurineDHEAGinkgoIodineArginineSugarKava* - Only some people have this reaction.Things containing caffeine..Coffee, Espresso, Cappuccino, some Teas, Low calorie, non-cola soda containing aspartame, Low calorie colas containing aspartame or saccharine, Energy drinks, Some types of alcoholic drinks.Chocolate ....Baking, Dark, Sweet and semisweet, Pudding, Cereals, Fudge , Milk chocolate, Syrup, Mousse, Soymilk, Fat free cookies, Cookies, Cake, Frozen Yogurt, Ice cream, Frosting, and Shakes .Java Pops, Chai Mints, Green Tea, Warp Mints, Penguin mints, and cinnamons. Caffeinated Energy Strips, Caffeinated Fruity Lollipops, HyDrive Energy Chews, Caffeinated Nixie Tubes, Foosh Energy Mints, Atomic Energy Bites, Buzz Bites, KickBricks, Energy Chews, Reload Energy Strips, Movit Gummies, Caffeinated jellybeans, Morning Spark, Oatmeal, Sumseeds (caffeinated sunflower seeds), Lightning Rods (beef sticks), Engobi "Energy Go Bites" (crispy snacks), Jolt Gum, Blitz Energy Gum, Think Gum Stay Alert, Vibe Black, Black Go Fast!, Dozens and dozens of herbal supplements.List of energy drinks with caffiene. (over 100)take Depressants (Make depression worse)Oxalic acid is found in members of the spinach family and cabbage, broccoli, brussels sprouts, chives and lamb's quarters are high in oxalates, as are sorrel and parsley. Rhubarb leaves contain about 0.5% oxalic acid.Can cause depression, lack of minerals, kidney stones, and more. Cooking does not affect oxalic acid. People with kidney disease, a history of kidney stones or suffer from depression should avoid these foods.other depressants:AspartameGlutenHigh Fat DairySugaralcoholTrans fatsSodiumCaffienePesticide residue on foodsGHBexposure to organic solvents (paint, varnish, stains, cleaning solvents, paint thinner, etc).------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dotake 500 mg of vitamin C per day or 300 mg of NAC - (N-acety cysteine) an antioxidantlearn Cognative Behavioral Therapy or Mindfulnesssleep as much as possibleKeeping a Journal - Don't trust your memory durinmg withdrawal.Stay hydrated"
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I'm pretty confused because I'm trying to balance out my hormones because I believe this is the cause to dry mouth and other dryness... So I've been taking vitamin D, I ordered magnesium to take, and there's a bunch of other stuff listed that I've read that is good for you... Now I'm very overwhelmed and have no idea what to do.
Am i just reading this worng because of overwhelm? I'm genuinly confused if I should take anything now... I need a better clear list somehow of what to avoid, I guess... why am I so confused by this list and the * / ** system? All I'm trying to do is deal with my dryness, depression, and major anxiety here. I know that the dryness has to be connected to hormone issues, but it seems like things I've researched to help hormone levels are things that according to this list cause anxiety or depression? Is that correct? I feel defeated... Please help.
#16
Posted 30 October 2023 - 04:02 PM
"I'm pretty confused because I'm trying to balance out my hormones because I believe this is the cause to dry mouth and other dryness... So I've been taking vitamin D, I ordered magnesium to take, and there's a bunch of other stuff listed that I've read that is good for you... Now I'm very overwhelmed and have no idea what to do.
Am i just reading this worng because of overwhelm? I'm genuinly confused if I should take anything now... I need a better clear list somehow of what to avoid, I guess... why am I so confused by this list and the * / ** system? All I'm trying to do is deal with my dryness, depression, and major anxiety here. I know that the dryness has to be connected to hormone issues, but it seems like things I've researched to help hormone levels are things that according to this list cause anxiety or depression? Is that correct? I feel defeated... Please help. "
As you know I am enduring somethings right now but will try to work on this tomorrow. Sorry for the delay.
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