Good Friend
Posted 04 May 2020 - 09:41 AM
Update day 19: Had a good weekend. Low anxiety. Did a workout and some painting in the house. Did go for an afternoon nap due to being tired.
Update day 20: Okay, still notice I need the 20mg of Oxazepam as anxiety is still there although a lot less than a week before
Update day 21: Had a businessmeeting this morning via Zoom. Got a panicattack, had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. Was NOT nice at all. Took 10mg Oxa to calm myself down. Okayish day, had better.
Site Admin
Posted 04 May 2020 - 05:29 PM
Ok ok... still a bit up and down - to be expected. This is a classic example of the brain trying to catalog your reactions in given situations. Try as best you can to not let what happened today get to you - it is a chemical reaction which you didn't initiate, and they will reduce in severity.
Let us know how it continues - and thanks for the updates thus far.
Good Friend
Posted 05 May 2020 - 05:12 AM
Ok ok... still a bit up and down - to be expected. This is a classic example of the brain trying to catalog your reactions in given situations. Try as best you can to not let what happened today get to you - it is a chemical reaction which you didn't initiate, and they will reduce in severity.
Let us know how it continues - and thanks for the updates thus far.
Had a really good week and weekend mate. The start of this week has been nothing but really tough. Struggling with anxiety since yesterday. Seems like my body is not done yet with the Cymbalta and my brain needs to set on the new ''normal'' 
Update day 22: Anxiety/stress in my body. Do not feel like going out. Will try to workout a little bit to releave some stress. Sleeping little compared to with Cymbalta which is great. I am fully awake now after 8 hours of sleep. With Cymbalta I could sleep 11 hours without a problem
Good Friend
Posted 06 May 2020 - 12:09 PM
Report day 22: Fighting against Anxiety. Had to up my dose of Oxazepam to 30 mg. Hard day. At least I got a proper 30 min workout done. Body is tired and nervous non stop.
Angry of how hard this is. Cymbalta is a devillish drug.
Site Partners
Posted 06 May 2020 - 04:39 PM
Sure, even daily is Ok as long as short, aerobic and simple. Many say that they had to start with a simple walk, say 400 feet and then slowly build up. Make sure that you are breathing easy and not even near an anaerobic state. After a few days you will learn your limit and can slowly expand as you feel better.
Good Friend
Posted 07 May 2020 - 06:00 AM
Thanks friends, will not workout the coming week.
Day 23: Anxiety is noticeable. Trying to end up at 30mg Oxazepam to keep it under control. Tired. Work seems hard. Hope to see better results next week. It's strange as last week was really good, this week I'm fighting a lot.
Good Friend
Posted 09 May 2020 - 01:40 PM
Day 24: Had anxiety. Not superbad but it's there non stop on a low level. Exhausting. 30mg Oxazepam
Day 25: Had an okay day. Went for a walk. Anxiety is there but overal better than the day before. Ended up on 20mg Oxazepam.
Quite sick of it, think I will try CBD oil on the side. Anybody has experience with that?
Site Admin
Posted 09 May 2020 - 04:21 PM
Hi Roald...
I can help you with CBD if you want to try that route. Works like a miracle for some, does nothing for others. Valerian root, ashwagandha and a few more are similar, but best to pick one at a time so you know for sure whether or not it works.
For me, it worked well for a bit, then pooped out despite taking the odd break, but for my father, it has been a life saver. Again, mixed opinions on the forum over the months and years.
Biggest thing is that you need to find a reputable source. Make sure you buy from an established vendor who publishes their test certificates. Make sure those certificates have the name of the company that tested... look up that company profile and make sure they are legit. A lot of legwork, but worth it to know you are getting the right stuff otherwise you could be spending $$$ and just getting olive oil.
If you were in the UK I would know where to send you, so as an example look at this company;
https://www.purelife...t-certificates/
These are the sort of documents you are looking for.
Feel free to ask any questions.
IUN
Good Friend
Posted 10 May 2020 - 04:23 AM
Thanks a lot IUN! I ordered some just today taking your advice in the back of my mind and will give it a shot.
Day 26: Woke up ok. One hour later I feel like my body isn't in sync. Anxiety waves coming up. How long is this going to continue? Will the citalopram take over at a certain point? This is driving me mad and makes me incredibly tired from fighting everyday.
The anxiety always seems to start in my legs. Works it way up and I get flashes of: you're going to have a heart attack. Guess I will need to give the Citalopram the needed 4-6 weeks before things will get better? I sure hope so..Have read up on your report IUN, how many weeks before you could function a bit again? This is horrible.
Site Partners
Posted 10 May 2020 - 07:33 AM
"Guess I will need to give the Citalopram the needed 4-6 weeks before things will get better?"
Yes, I am afraid so. Remember that anxiety tends to hang on though as Citalopram does not control norepinephrine like Cymbalta did.
Site Admin
Posted 10 May 2020 - 05:22 PM
Hi Roald....
You are at the stage where you can so easily become complacent when you have a string of good moments, and then your heart sinks and you just want to throw the towel in when you have a bad day. It just strikes off all the good moments before it and you feel like you are at square 1 again. Does that sound familiar?
This is why Hat and myself always suggest keeping a diary or log of some sort as it is very difficult to see the progress through memories as your mind always focuses on the negatives, but if you have raw data that you can refer to, then this can help. I made a spreadsheet when I started my second episode, and every monday I would print off another copy. I have a stack of around 120 sheets of this spreadsheet documenting my recovery. I am keeping them solely for the purposes of people like you.
So... around 30 days after my switch I was seeing improvement, but like you, I was getting really bad with the anxiety, so I was put on Pregabalin which was a mistake. That put me out of action for a good 2-3 weeks. Given that it was Christmas as well, I didn't have much hope! It was week 7-8 that things started to settle psychologically. So don't be surprised if it does take a few more days, but do bear in mind I had the Pregab and Christmas to deal with at weeks 3-6.
Good Friend
Posted 11 May 2020 - 01:43 PM
Hi Roald....
You are at the stage where you can so easily become complacent when you have a string of good moments, and then your heart sinks and you just want to throw the towel in when you have a bad day. It just strikes off all the good moments before it and you feel like you are at square 1 again. Does that sound familiar?
This is why Hat and myself always suggest keeping a diary or log of some sort as it is very difficult to see the progress through memories as your mind always focuses on the negatives, but if you have raw data that you can refer to, then this can help. I made a spreadsheet when I started my second episode, and every monday I would print off another copy. I have a stack of around 120 sheets of this spreadsheet documenting my recovery. I am keeping them solely for the purposes of people like you.
So... around 30 days after my switch I was seeing improvement, but like you, I was getting really bad with the anxiety, so I was put on Pregabalin which was a mistake. That put me out of action for a good 2-3 weeks. Given that it was Christmas as well, I didn't have much hope! It was week 7-8 that things started to settle psychologically. So don't be surprised if it does take a few more days, but do bear in mind I had the Pregab and Christmas to deal with at weeks 3-6.
He mate,
Sounds spot on. This weekend I was so fed up. Thank god today was a better day! You have been through hell, I guess I am going through it right now. Just gotta sit this ride out and be strong. Today was a positive day so let's hope for another ''ok'' one tomorrow. I will have to be more patient.
Day 27: Had a good productive day. Survived with 20mg Oxazepam and very low anxiety compared to the previous 2 days.
Site Admin
Posted 11 May 2020 - 05:27 PM
20mg Oxa is equivalent to around 6/7mg valium/Diazepam, so that is quite a good dose to be stable with.
Keep going - the better "windows" will get longer and more frequent.
Good Friend
Posted 15 May 2020 - 07:07 AM
Guys, finally some positive news. I can really feel that the Citalopram is starting to work. Anxiety is getting less and less.
Day 28: Great day. Walked a lot, had a very very low level of anxiety compared to the weeks before.
Day 29: Same as day 28.
Day 30: Having a very good day again. Feeling more optimistic.
Hope to finish both 3 days on 15mg of Oxazepam.
Site Admin
Posted 15 May 2020 - 03:15 PM
Fantastic!! Looks like the Citalopram was right for you as it was for me!
As Hat said, keep mindful of the benzo and see how you go from here.
SO happy for you my friend. Love it when things start coming together for our members.
Good Friend
Posted 18 May 2020 - 05:31 AM
Hello friends!
So an update: FROM NOW ON I WILL ALWAYS LISTEN TO FISHING/IUN.
Had a great day 31/32. Low dose of Oxazepam. I was so confident that I did a 50 minutes training session last night. Guess what? Day 33: Woke up with anxiety.
Will not do any workouts for the coming 10 days.
Good Friend
Posted 21 May 2020 - 11:03 AM
Day 34: Decent day. Had anxiety during a business call over Zoom however. Panick/anxiety attacks become less in duration.
Day 35: Same as the day before. Trying to lower the Oxazepam. Ended up using only 10 mg.
Day 36: Day 33 left an impact on me. I had a bad anxiety attack outside while talking a walk. I got an immediate flight response while taking a casual walk which scared the living hell out of me. Felt like I would die right on the spot. Pushed through it. Wasn't pretty.
In general it's a good day. I will take a walk and win over my anxiety. Trying to end this day on 8mg of Oxazepam.
Site Partners
Posted 21 May 2020 - 11:28 AM
Exercise is a no-no during times of anxiety as it increases adrenaline production which escalates the anxiety. I would recommend starting out with a very small easy walk and working up from there. Forcing yourself through it will only cause a conditioned response and further adrenaline production. Your body is not ready yet.
Site Admin
Posted 21 May 2020 - 04:58 PM
It is a difficult time at the moment and you are stuck in a rock and a hard place and it is all about finding the balance between letting the anxiety be there and fighting against it. As long as you are not leading a trek over the Andes, walking is ok in moderation, but it is still alright once in a while to give yourself a breather and let the anxiety win by not going out for that second walk of the day.
Hat is right, you don't want to create a conditioned response, but if you can simply let it be rather than fight it, that is the way forward. Just don't give a flying f*** what happens during those times. It sure is difficult, but with the reduction in duration, this is a good sign.
Keep up the good work.
Good Friend
Posted 23 May 2020 - 06:15 AM
Thanks guys for the encouraging words.
Trying to lower the Oxazepam. Days are hard Had a brilliant night last night where I did feel the Citalopram working and the anxiety being completely gone for 3/4 hours.
Today I had to go to the supermarket, had a massive panick attack inside. Pushed through it. I can still notice my adrenaline is pumping through my body. I am at day 37 now, I really hope it will stabilize more the coming weeks.
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