166 replies to this topic

[invalidusername]

Such a shame that health comes at a cost...

[kmrekl217]

Such a shame that health comes at a cost...

 

In America it certainly does. My insurance doesn't even cover any of this. 

[invalidusername]

I would say that this is where the NHS comes into its own, but I can't. 

 

Last time I was in hospital, I didn't have a blanket or a pillow. I have been awaiting psychotherapy for 9 months. It is in a right state.

 

Ironic that we are 20 miles from France that have the best health service globally.

[kmrekl217]

The world is a mess, getting worse, and I'm afraid. I'm not depressed, but I'm not hopeful at all for the state of the world. Sometimes I think it might be best to stay on "happy pills" the rest of my life. I say all these darker and melodramatic thoughts here because it's anonymous. 

I would say that this is where the NHS comes into its own, but I can't. 

 

Last time I was in hospital, I didn't have a blanket or a pillow. I have been awaiting psychotherapy for 9 months. It is in a right state.

 

Ironic that we are 20 miles from France that have the best health service globally.

[invalidusername]

No harm - speak as you will. We can all feel like this at times. 

[kmrekl217]

I guess I've always been a nervous laughter type person due to anxiety and when I went on antidepressants I didn't experience it anymore. It was honestly a relief.  So now that I'm tapering off, I notice I'm laughing nervously more, which in turn makes me self conscious and I nervously laugh more.

 

I hate it!

[fishinghat]

Oh kmrek, don't worry about that. We all have our quirks. Some are fat, some have big noses, some big feet, some stutter, etc. If that is your only problem when things are said and done then you are doing fine.

[invalidusername]

I am of Welsh decent, so right off the bat, I have the schnoz....

[fishinghat]

Ahhh, some day we will have to have a schnoz contest. I a, of German descent.

[kmrekl217]

It just feels hard to control the laughter sometimes. Laughing and crying, too are more difficult to control now.

[invalidusername]

Hat - challenge accepted! May the greater schnoz win

 

Kmrek - I am finding the "fake" laugh difficult to pull off at the moment...

[kmrekl217]

Felt awful this morning. Woke up anxious. Cried a lot, in part because of the brain whooshes making me feel terrible.

 

I have to go down to 9 mg on Sunday at least for a week or so because I only have one 12 mg pill left and this compound pharmacy is out of state and ships it to me (I have the 9 mg bottle already). I am seriously considering though going one milligram down a month instead of three. My worthless psychiatrist will hopefully return my call when I call on Tuesday to ask if we can do one milligram one month at a time. 

 

That means it's going to be a much longer process. But I need to be able to function at least a little. I have a job after all. 

[invalidusername]

Wise move.

 

Think long term - might be a little more expensive, but I am positive you will more than make that shortfall up with the days you don't take off work.

 

Why do people have to get permission to take a slower withdrawal? If it your body my dear, you have the last say.

[kmrekl217]

Wise move.

 

Think long term - might be a little more expensive, but I am positive you will more than make that shortfall up with the days you don't take off work.

 

Why do people have to get permission to take a slower withdrawal? If it your body my dear, you have the last say.

I just mean ask because he will need to write a new rx. I don't think he will necessarily say no.

[invalidusername]

Ah - the proverbial red tape...

[kmrekl217]

Have had passive death wishes yesterday and today. I'm mad that I have these thoughts. I don't want these thoughts at all. They make me feel mentally unhealthy.

 

I was having these wishes because I'm already tired of this withdrawal, felt really miserable physically, and don't know what happens on the other side when I'm totally med-free (meaning how long my body will be out of whack, what if I have trouble functioning with no meds). 

[invalidusername]

Natural to think about the med-free times. I have been on one AD or another for over 15 years and this also worries me. But bottom line is that the brain CAN recover over time - it really depends on dose, length of treatment, and to a greater or lesser extent, the person. There are some on the forum that will tell you that they have left over effects from the Cymbalta, and whilst I really do feel for them, they are very much in the minority (but not at all meaning of less importance).

 

The odds are in your favour that you will not suffer once the meds are out of your system.

[kmrekl217]

Today's the first day at 9 mg (down from 12 mg). Haven't noticed anything drastically different yet physically. Hoping it stays that way. But I kinda doubt it.

[fishinghat]

Good luck!! Hoping for the best.

[invalidusername]

Try to stay positive as best you can!! Wishing you all the best for the coming days....

[kmrekl217]

Thank you!!

[kmrekl217]

Anxiety high today. Mood low. Coping with it as well as I can. Ran two errands, took out the trash, showered. I give myself permission for this to be enough. I don't need to be or do anymore. 

 

I don't have much appetite with this metallic taste in my mouth. I have to make myself eat so that brain whooshes don't get worse. Eating and making decisions about eating is a chore that I just have to do.

[invalidusername]

Well done for the permission - this is often not adhered to by most - myself included!! This is very good practice for when you are not quite feeling right. So important to recognise the limits before we overshoot the mark.

[kmrekl217]

Well done for the permission - this is often not adhered to by most - myself included!! This is very good practice for when you are not quite feeling right. So important to recognise the limits before we overshoot the mark.

 

Yeah, I actually realized that we're quite strong--those of us on this withdrawal journey-- for any amount of functioning we're able to do while going through withdrawal. It was really empowering to see that I'm strong not weak for even making the decision to try to get off meds let alone dealing with the actual withdrawal.

[gail]

KM,

It takes a lot of guts to get off Cymbalta, knowing the suffering that it entails.
D
Just running two errands, see to the trash, take a shower, that is a lot. So yes,you are strong and these thoughts are just passing by and most of all normal in withdrawal.

Down to 9mg! Continue to update please, we're here if you need help or just venting. Love!

[kmrekl217]

KM,

It takes a lot of guys to get off Cymbalta, knowing the suffering that it entails.

Just running two errands, see to the trash, take a shower, that is a lot. So yes,you are strong and these thoughts are just passing by and most of all normal in withdrawal.

Down to 9mg! Continue to update please, we're here if you need help or just venting. Love!

Thanks, so much, Gail! 

[kmrekl217]

Yesterday was a really good day. I woke up and stretched, ate a healthy breakfast, did a 10 minute ab workout, ran some errands, functioned fine at work.

 

Today's been okay, too. Meditating each morning and doing relaxation breathing whenever anxiety starts taking hold of me is very helpful. Symptoms of withdrawal haven't been so bad. Minor tingling and not-so-bad metallic taste in my mouth. No brain whooshes to speak of. Even doing a little socializing tonight.

 

I'm treasuring these good days because I know that the whole rest of the withdrawal likely won't be full of good days every day. There will be some bad ones.

[gail]

Great post KM, I enjoyed reading you. Looking forward to another update.

Socializing Tonite!!! Lucky you, enjoy while we are sleeping.

[invalidusername]

Meditation is a fantastic way of helping...

 

And don't bait the bad days!! What will be, will be. Take them as you find them.

 

Glad to hear of these good times all the same

[fishinghat]

Excellent kmrek. They should happen more and more frequently with time.