894 replies to this topic

[fishinghat]

 Kathy. Their brain damage is due to Cymbalta.

[invalidusername]

       

 

That has made my day!! Thanks Hat...

 

(Kathy - I too have run out of "likes" for today)

[gail]

Einstein, we are not brain damaged, we are simply kids having fun.

Join us in our playground, bring your lunch. We'll take good care of you. Lovage

[fishinghat]

"Playground in my mind"

[invalidusername]

Yes the lovely playground in our minds... for now...

 

Less dizziness and zaps today, but restlessness is still there - very much. Mood-wise, I am both anxious and depressed. The withdrawal causing the anxiety and the anxiety (and withdrawal) causing the depression. I know I have just got to keep on the same path as I am, and I am trying. I really am trying.

[invalidusername]

So my update since last week.

 

I felt what people refer to as "the blahs" come on during Sunday evening... where you just don't want to do anything because you don't see the point. There is no pleasure and ultimately you will wake up in the morning and all the sh*t will start over again. I walked head-first into that one as I woke up feeling suicidal, which has only occurred once this year.

 

Having previously discussed supplements with Hat and looking online, I had some 5HTP at the ready, so I took a 50mg dose around 9pm, and after around 30-40 minutes, felt a lot better. Things made sense again and I wanted to do stuff. This lasted for about 4 hours and I could feel the blahs coming back, but not too bad.

 

Took another 5HTP when I woke, and things weren't too bad, just very apprehensive. Took a bit of a dive, and I have just taken another dose (8 hours on). An hour later and it seems to have taken the edge off, but not to the extent as yesterday. 

 

This is all happening whilst maintaining the 10mg Lexapro - so I am staring the withdrawal in the face armed only with the 5HTP. But it was either this, or go back up to 15mg Lexapro and get the fatigue and shakes again... which have all but gone at 10mg. The zaps and dizziness have got a lot better since taking Omega 3 - only taken 2 doses so far, but definately helps. I'm still a little dizzy, but I've only had 3 zaps so far today!!

[invalidusername]

Quick update. 

 

The 5-HTP doesn't appear to be doing much unfortunately - either that or my depression is too strong. I am not going higher on the dose while I am taking the Lexapro, so it might be a case of getting back over to the Citalopram after all. 

 

My depression was initially the withdrawal from the Lexapro, but is also now linked to these on-going ailments. Today has been fatigue and head fog day. And walking around the supermarket with a heavy shopping basket whilst weak at the knees and a pounding head sure brings on anxiety. Even when I stop, I can't really relax or be happy because I know all this is still going on. I need it to stop. 

 

Going back on the Lexapro perhaps 2.5gm rather than the 5gm is an option? How long before I would see relief (if any) after 3 weeks of the lower dose?

[fishinghat]

About 3 or 4 weeks.

[fishinghat]

Most of the research I have on 5htp shows only a small benefit for use against depression but a more substantial benefit when used to treat anxiety.

[invalidusername]

About 3 or 4 weeks.

 

Really? That long? I know it is a long half-life which will impact. Then it is close to seeing an improvement from starting a cross taper with Citalopram then?

[fishinghat]

That is correct.

[invalidusername]

Decision made then. No point in delaying the inevitable. 

 

Six months of going round in a circle... citalopram>duloxetine>lexapro>citalopram. Sigh.

 

But at least I know how sensitive I have become to medication.

[Vinpin]

Hi IUN - yes, I'm on your post now, for a change ......

 

I know I could try to fish out the answer in your post history, but thought I would just ask - do you know if your zaps are from the Cymbalta withdrawal? Or, do you possibly attribute them to the Celexa and/or other psych meds you've been on in the past?

 

Just curious -- since I'm only aware of brain zaps as a withdrawal symptom for Cymbalta/Duloxetine ....

 

-VinPin

[invalidusername]

I never had zaps coming off the Duloxetine - they are for sure the Citalopram/Lexapro.

 

I am now sure that dropping the 5mg was not a good idea. Not only is a 33% drop too much - even after 2 months (as I should have learned from the Duloxetine), but I am now sure it has uncovered the Citaolpram withdrawal. The 15mg Lexapro was just about covering it - so I am dealing with a double withdrawal here.

 

Have reinstated 10mg of Citalopram now - horrible horrible head pains and dizziness so am still in bed. This will need some patience and not looking forward to it.

[fishinghat]

Vinpin

Brain zaps have been well documented for nearly all ssri/snri and even a few other meds.

[invalidusername]

Bit better this evening I am pleased to say. Hopefully this drop will level out quickly. May have a few start-ups from the 10mg Citalopram, but drop in the ocean I expect compared to others I have gone thru.

 

I also visited doctor to collect the paperwork sent to him from the Mental Health team that I "somehow" didn't get. Guys, I cannot tell you. They have lied out of their ass. They have written that I agreed with the duloxetine taper, that I started taking Escitalopram against the advice of the doctor?!! Much more... oh and that the ongoing seizures were down to the fact that I was not tapering properly. My fault. Not theirs.

 

Hat... can I borrow your boat please?? Unless these people want to be at the receiving end of biblical levels of vengeance, I need to pound something....

[fishinghat]

You are in servitude in your country. I thought the UK was a free country. Here you could file a complaint with the state medical board, the treating facility and you have the right to request post a statement in your medical records. Man, that sucks.

[invalidusername]

There is the option to go to press, and we can take the health service to court for damages.

[fishinghat]

If you go to court the only winner will be the lawyers. I have been involved in court cases many times, as a plaintiff, a defendant and as a witness. It is a disgraceful degrading experience. I would rather just suffer miserably then go to court again, even as a witness.

[invalidusername]

No doubt you are right. Way too much stress for me as it is. I need to focus on getting better, not getting back.

[Vinpin]

Glad you're doing a bit better, IUN.

 

FH: Your comment about the courts sounds so practical and wise. And, it is grounded in experience - so it carries much weight. Thank you for sharing.

 

If I ever went to court - it would not be for $ or even my own vengeance ..... it would be try to make SSRI/SNRI care better for the next folks in line (I know, that sounds sappy.......). That's why I mentioned the FDA Medwatch facility in my thread ... would love to make an impact, even if just to "move the needle" a bit -- to make information and best practices more readily available.

 

-VinPin

[fishinghat]

Go for it. It won't hurt anything.

[invalidusername]

Not at all sappy Vin.

 

My wife was nearly evicted from the UK (despite being my wife - and married for 5 years) because we sent the wrong visa form in for renewal (having been told the "correct" form by a member of their own staff). By the time they had told us, she was an "overstayer", thus illegal. Two years of legal battle and high court, but we won. Now our case will be there for all others who come up against this problem. Making it a better place.

 

No wonder I am stressed thou

[fishinghat]

I have worked on several cases where the Workman's Comp court (a type of administrative court) decided that an injury was not work related BUT when taken to Civil Court then that court determined it was work related and medical insurance did not have to pay. So even though that employee was had insurance for work related accidents and regular medical insurance neither had to pay.

[invalidusername]

...and even though it was decided in our favour, the whole shooting match start to finish for the wife cost me around £5000.

 

No justice.

[fishinghat]

I can understand that. I have spent over $150,000 on lawyer fees just since retiring. It has nearly wiped out my life savings. If I had it to do over again I would become a Walmart greeter.

[invalidusername]

Good grief Hat! That is insane! 

 

Just keep thinking of the "riches" you will have waiting for you in Heaven for all the good you do here.

 

But they might have a Walmart's up there - will have to wait and see

[invalidusername]

I wanted to post to say that yesterday I had a really good day. 

 

This is really important and I need to make sure I document it as Gail has said before. I woke after 10 hours of blissful slumber, came to and felt good. I cannot remember the last day this occurred. My thoughts immediately went to "yes, give it a minute... you will feel sh*t". I ignored this as best I could and it paid off. 

 

When I woke this morning, unfortunately I have mixed depression/anxiety back, but by default I didn't break my Citalopram in half and thought "I did this yesterday". So I am sure that whilst I would have taken 10mg citalopram on Friday (with the 10mg Lexapro), that I took 20mg Citalopram yesterday. Unlikely a correlation, but just an observation.

 

Either way, nice to know that my brain is still capable of having good days.

[fishinghat]

Good. It may take you a few days to get things worked out but this is a start.

[gail]

Scrat,

Have I missed something? Have you restarted on Celexa?