2784 replies to this topic

[Axlejames]

When I was in the ER they said I had an Anal fissure not hemmoroids since then I have been obsessing sometimes I dont notice it and I am fine other times I am obsessing over it and think it could mean the worst. I dont know how to cope with this I do know that its a common effect from stress and I have been under a tremendous amount since my 4 or 5 panic attacks. I am trying my best not to spiral out of control so I come here to see if anyone else has dealt with this. Normally I carry all my stress in my upper body but this round it was all in my lower extremeites my legs my butt and my stomach.

[invalidusername]

Hey AJ...

 

I know some like that is almost impossible to ignore, but this usually occurs as a result of bowel movements. I remember a similar thing when I was drinking. It made me really dehydrated which meant it felt like giving birth when I went to the toilet! And seeing patches of blood really freaked me out. 

 

Fortunately, I have an understanding chemist who recommended the cream which was a miracle, but the part to remain clear on is that this isn't anything terrible and that it happens to a number of people for many reasons - it will ease.

 

Sorry to hear about the return of the panic attacks. It is never good when these things come back having fought your way through it once already, but the point is that you DID fight throught it, and you will do it again. Hold in there brother - you are doing well to go through this and amazing that you can open about this. You are never alone...

 

IUN

[Axlejames]

Everyday without fail all i can think about is sickness, dying, and only negative. I cannot seem to see the light once again I know that I have been here before , yet I cannot remember how I came out of it. I am still dealing with physical symptoms stomach in knots not feeling like I am digesting my food like I normally would pain in my buttocks and rectum and mild constipation. I know logically all of this can be from Anxiety , and yet I get a rumination on the what if questions. I have been seen by 2 different drs in the last 6 months who have told me I am healthy and fine , yet my OCD tells me what if they are wrong what if I never feel good again. Has anyone dealt with this ? Has anyone had the upset stomach even after the anxiety and panic is gone how long does it last ?

[fishinghat]

Oh AJ, what a struggle. I often had struggles with digestive issues after a major bout of anxiety. It usually slowly faded over a 4 to 6 week period. Hang in there.

[invalidusername]

Hi AJ,

 

I can't believe that I am here saying this, but unfortunately these things can always come back to haunt us.

 

I honestly thought that I was out of the horrible anxiety and panic-attack area, but last week, I was doing some computer work for two high profile clients who needed their work done immediately.

 

The first I managed to drop on the floor and it cost me £225 in repairs as the screen broke and I had to put them off until the parts arrived. The second wanted a new system and of the 8 parts that I needed to build the system, 2 of the parts turned out to be faulty, but it took so much time and effort and exchanging parts to diagnose. At the same time, the client was asking why it was taking so long. I had spend so much on parts that turned out to be fault and the client wanted to take the work elsewhere as it was taking too long which meant I would loose close to £600. 

 

I was so scared and stress. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep and I ended up order food to be delivered to my home as when I went to the grocery store, I broke out in a cold sweat and nearly passed out. 

 

I really understand how these things happen. 

 

Fortunately, I have come out the other side, but I am still trying to get to the other side of my panic and anxiety even though the stress is over.

 

It will do the same for you - I know it will. Everyone in this day and age goes through some sort of mental health problem, but we see it much worse as we have been there before and worry that it will have come back to stay. But you need to tell yourself that it is a normal part of life. So many people suffer as we do - in the the UK, it is 1 in 3 people - it says a lot. But knowing that you are not alone helps a lot.

 

Keep in touch with people that you know go through the same things like us here, and it will help you to carry on and you KNOW it will all clear up in the end given time - honestly, it truly will...

 

Take care and God Bless...

 

IUN

[Axlejames]

Lately my focus has been on The big C and death every night when I go to bed and every morning when I wake up all I can think of is this. Sometimes I research to make myself feel better then the anxiety comes back 100 fold I know this is OCD yet these thoughts scare me. I also have been looking up death stuff over and over again. 3 months ago I was a perfectly healthy 41 year old looking forward to the next 40 years because the first 40 were not great. Now all I can think of is how my life could be cut short at any moment and that I may never get the chance to have a good life. I dont know these are ramblings but I am struggling here pretty bad on rumination and my anxiety is bad. Is it possible to have a build up of acid in your stomach from anxiety that comes out when defecating ? something i was thinking about. I am lost I pray and pray and pray and look for Gods presence but because of my depression and anxiety I cannot see nor feel it I feel the most alone I have felt in 3 years and I dont know if the sun will come over the horizon anytime soon. I love you guys and IUN I am sorry to hear of your setback

[LeVana]

can't help you, Axle, but I feel the same way. anxiety 24/7

be patient.

[fishinghat]

One of the craziest aspects of anxiety is the effects of our "second brain", our stomach. Once disturbed our stomach sends signals back up the vagus nerve to our brain and the anxiety levels escalate dramatically. Withdrawal in particular causes imbalance in serotonin levels which are the most common neurotransmitter in the digestive tract. This leads to the disturbance in your digestive system. I have many times where I don't have rolling of my stomach and intestines, no heartburn, no gas, etc and yet some stomach meds like antiacid, Pepto, Kao Pectate or such will bring down my anxiety dramatically. I have had this happen many many times. This may not help but it is worth a try. Don't overdo the Kao or Pepto as it can cause constipation and black stools. 

[invalidusername]

Hi AJ...

 

My point to weight in!!!

 

These things can often come back to haunt us, and in your case that how life can be cut short at any moment, just like I felt after my near-death car accident back in 2006. It took me so long to fight my way out of it, but yet, it came back to haunt me as soon as something similar came along.

 

It is the coping stratgies that we have to get by - it is very tough and it can so easily come back to us remembering what we had once felt months or even years ago.

 

The smallest amount of anxiety can trigger that off in no time at all, and that will be the start of a new episode, and I know that so so well like my last message, and I feel so badly for you to have gone through that.

 

You have been through SO SO very much in the last few year just like the rest of is and you need to cut yourself some slack and show yourself some compassion, as tough as it may be.

 

Hat has got it spot on with the musing on our "second brain". I cannot put it any better. So much is focused on the brain when it can be attributed elsewhere. And yes, certainly don't overdo the OTC stuff, it can for sure make more harm them otherwise.

 

God Bless

 

IUN

[Axlejames]

Musings: Things I have had to face up to we are all going to pass someday all I can hope for is a long life from all of the NDE stuff I have read and even people who didnt have NDE its a calm and peaceful process I do not know why at 41 I feel the need to go through this and that scares me. Still not feeling the best physically I realize that even tho the meds are helping squelch some of the anxiety my body has not recieved the message. I ended up in Urgent care the other day and the Nurse practioner said I have a fissure which I knew already they are giving it a month and might need surgery to fix I hope and pray it doesnt come to that and that you all will pray for me as well. I told her I was concerned about C and she gave me an at home FIT test i took it and sent it in but has made me crazy with anxiety waiting for the results. I am just trying to get back to a steady state some days seem like I can sometimes its just an hour but I am trying. I am still fearful and worried about what lies in my future yet I realize no matter how much I worry it wont change what God wills. Another thing that comes to mind is why waste my health while I still have it if I am as healthy as they all tell me I am.

[fishinghat]

"...I realize that even tho the meds are helping squelch some of the anxiety my body has not recieved the message."

 

An excellent way of putting it. I can really identify with that.

[invalidusername]

This is your tough place again AJ. So easy to say that you will be putting your life on hold when you consider the afterlife question. And Googling about it is going to be tough as well - what are you going to believe? What if there are contradictory comments? It is a slippery path.

 

Faith is not about beliving what someone else tells you, it is about believing what you have deep inside your soul. 

 

And perfecty possible to have a build up of acid as a result of this. I have it ALL the time when my anxiety gets bad, which  incidentaly is right now. My anxiety is out of control and my stomach is always churning. I just try to accept it for how it is. I get one, I get the other.

 

But you need to remember that you have been through SO much over the years and yet you are still here. You have made some amazing long strides since then, and if you look back through this thread, it will remind you of all of these good times. They often happen, but when we get low, we just seem to forget all of these positives. We are all the same and it sucks.

 

But now you have been reading up on the NDS stuff - you are totally talking my language! Please feel free to talk to me about this stuff and who best to read etc. It can really be uplifting for the soul.

 

I am really sorry that you had to go through the urgent care you mentioned, but if you have the option of surgery, all will be ok. Things could be far worse. Health issues are one of the most common parts of anxiety and can be horrific sometimes but we need to learn to let go of that we cannot control. There are a lot of odds that you will not need further treatment, but worrying yourself will of course only exacerbate the anxiety further. Again it can be SO very tough. 

 

But yes, you re right - this is God's will and YOUR will since you left the Summerland. We are all here to learn and you will be back Home in no time at all, so we need to make as much effort as possible to commit to the work we decided to do whilst we were down here.

 

Keep posting for as often as you need to - we are all in this together and it is so much better to share it..

 

Take care dear Brother

[Axlejames]

 

This is your tough place again AJ. So easy to say that you will be putting your life on hold when you consider the afterlife question. And Googling about it is going to be tough as well - what are you going to believe? What if there are contradictory comments? It is a slippery path.

 

Faith is not about beliving what someone else tells you, it is about believing what you have deep inside your soul. 

 

And perfecty possible to have a build up of acid as a result of this. I have it ALL the time when my anxiety gets bad, which  incidentaly is right now. My anxiety is out of control and my stomach is always churning. I just try to accept it for how it is. I get one, I get the other.

 

But you need to remember that you have been through SO much over the years and yet you are still here. You have made some amazing long strides since then, and if you look back through this thread, it will remind you of all of these good times. They often happen, but when we get low, we just seem to forget all of these positives. We are all the same and it sucks.

 

But now you have been reading up on the NDS stuff - you are totally talking my language! Please feel free to talk to me about this stuff and who best to read etc. It can really be uplifting for the soul.

 

I am really sorry that you had to go through the urgent care you mentioned, but if you have the option of surgery, all will be ok. Things could be far worse. Health issues are one of the most common parts of anxiety and can be horrific sometimes but we need to learn to let go of that we cannot control. There are a lot of odds that you will not need further treatment, but worrying yourself will of course only exacerbate the anxiety further. Again it can be SO very tough. 

 

But yes, you re right - this is God's will and YOUR will since you left the Summerland. We are all here to learn and you will be back Home in no time at all, so we need to make as much effort as possible to commit to the work we decided to do whilst we were down here.

 

Keep posting for as often as you need to - we are all in this together and it is so much better to share it..

 

Take care dear Brother

 

What are your thoughts on Bernardo Kastrup and Idealism ?

[invalidusername]

"Idealism is the metaphysical view that associates reality to ideas in the mind rather than to material objects. It lays emphasis on the mental or spiritual components of experience, and renounces the notion of material existence."

 

You are asking tough questions here AJ..

 

Spirituality and Science....

 

Were they ever supposed to mix?

 

I think that we will only get so far - there are some things that we are not supposed to understand - otherwise, we would not be living the life we have down here.

 

Put simply, I always ask - how did we come into existence? You don't get something from nothing. Sure, the big bang was a result of mixed atoms and so forth, but you don't get atoms from nothing. Nothing comes from nothing. Someone HAD to have put something in place to start with.

 

Whether you believe the Darwinism theory, you are still foolish as it cannot explain the unexplainable. It never will.

 

Being a spiritualist, I also ask tough questions, but I get answers that only a spiritualist would understand.

 

I will tell you something that I have never shared on this forum.

 

Before Gail passed away, she said that she would send me a sign that she was ok as soon as she could. Soon after, I was driving along a road and a squirrel jumped out in front of my car and refused to move. I had to wait, but it was staring at me for such a long time. I didn't think anything of it until I realised that my avatar is a squirrel, and it is something that Gail always spoke about. She used to call me "Scrat" - just look at the messages!

 

Ok - I thought. that is quite good, but was that enough?!

 

The next day. I went to a client's home and they offered me a cup of tea, which I accepted. They presented my tea in a cup with a massive squirrel on it!!!

 

That is how I work. This is not how science works, but how spirits get in touch with us and tell us that they are OK and there is indeed something else out there. Sure they passed from this earth, but they are still alive...

 

We are all ok.. God has us covered and always will do...

 

IUN

[Axlejames]

its been a few months. I thought id come here and update as i always do so far  i am doing a bit better still have some hard days but overall striving for a better time I am on 50mg of Zoloft i take in the morning and i have decided that is how it will be for awhile. I was told by a health proffesional that it could take 2 years for me to get stable when i do decide to come off again that was crazy to hear. In any case im getting ready for a 10 day vacation next month and i am exited about that it will be my first vacation this year. Hope you all are doing well

[fishinghat]

Nearly all psych drs I have talked to or read about say 2 years to stabilize. From my experiences I would agree.

 

Hang in there AJ.

[invalidusername]

Hi AJ,

 

Good to hear from you.

 

Sertraline/Zoloft is a strong drug and this is why I have been concerned that my 80+year old father has been prescribed it. Something that Hat and myself have been in discussion about. I wouldn't like to say that it is a 2 year turnaround to come off this stuff, but everyone is different, so one has to be prepared.

 

I would say 2 years is quite unlikely, but is also a possibility.

 

The worse part I have had is my mum has stopped my dad having his two gin and tonics in the evening because the leaflet says so. 

 

It is causing my dad severe upset as he looks forward to his two nightly drinking. I told my mum there is no real problem with that level of alcohol with SSRI, and that it is written into the PIL so the big pharma doesn't get sued. 

 

If they said that "one or two drinks is ok", they could could have serious law suits on their hands, so it is much better to say don't drink at all. 

 

It is a load of crap. Sure alcohol is a depressant, but in serious levels. Yes, it interacts with the production of dopamine, but again, at high levels. Two drinks of gin, or a couple of glasses of wine will NOT cause any problem. Might cause you to get a bit drowsy, so don't drive, but other than that, it is perfectly safe.

 

Frustrating time - update for you Hat following our discussion!! 

 

My Dad doesn't have long left, and if a couple of gin and tonics make him happy every evening, then I don't see a problem. Give him what he enjoys. Don't give with one hand and take away with the other. I know enough about these drugs to give this level of advice. I just wish my mother would listen to me and not cause my father more depression by taking away one of the few things that gives him happiness in his life.

 

Sorry to divert AJ, but the word "Zoloft" or "sertraline" is having that effect on me.

 

But of course, I am always here for you and wishing you the very best.

 

IUN 

[fishinghat]

I agree with your assessment of the alcohol but also understand that the doctors are under pressure to give the "best" care in order to avoid a malpractice lawsuit. It is good to make his last days as enjoyable as possible. Unluckily that is your mum's choice though. Hang in there sir.

[Axlejames]

alot has happenend in the last few months i have left my job of 10 years sold my house and moved an hour away with my gf. I am working as a youth care proffesional which is very rewarding i am still on the 50 mg of sertraline and that seems to help keep the edge off most of the time still dealing with fissure and have to have a colonscopy next month i am worried about i have been reassured that it is for the fissure only and not really concerned that i have the big C. all in all i have done a lot of changes in my life and am adjusting pretty well so far some days are easier than others but i am just trying to trust Gods plan hope you are all well.

[fishinghat]

That is the kind of news I want to hear. You will get mentally stronger with time and I pray all works out for the best.

[Axlejames]

Have you ever heard of sertraline causing slight malabsortion issues ?

[fishinghat]

All ssri can effect nutritional absorption. They regulate serotonin which is the primary neurotransmitter regulating the digestive tract. Usually this effect is minimal although the absorption of sodium can be significantly changed.

[invalidusername]

Good to hear from you AJ - try not to think too far ahead of what may and may not be. But will be thinking of you all the same.

 

But you have been very brave in making such a lot of changes in your life. Whilst they can be stressful initially, ultimately it will serve you well and you will for sure feel better for it. 

 

Sounds like you are moving forward into a new stage of your life and that can be very exciting. Just keep your chin up and it will all come together for you.

 

Keep in touch...

 

IUN

[Axlejames]

Checking in how are you all ? I have just been settling in to my new life little by little. I took a Job as a Youth Care proffesional at a Residential facility for young boys. I have found it is very very stressful as most of the kids have severe behaviour issues. I am looking to find something else I wanted to try this because I care but it is way more than I can handle. Not to much else is going on I am engaged my Gf said yes LOL hope you all are good.

[fishinghat]

Good to hear from you AJ. 

 

Yeah, that job may not be the best for you. It is admirable that you wanted to help but you need to operated from a point of strength in order to do that and I am afraid that may be difficult with that job.

 

Great news about the engagement!! Congratulations. You deserve some happiness.

 

FH