2784 replies to this topic

[fishinghat]

AJ, I know that things are not great but you are actually doing fairly well at this point. I have been tapering Zoloft for over 2 years now (off and on) and have only dropped 8%. I would just suggest holding at your current level for a while and forget about further drops. Just go on with life and continue to let yourself heal. You will know when to drop again. 

 

You sure don't want to get me started on the whole social media/internet thing. There is so much false information, risky behavior and stupid thoughts on there that it is ridiculous. 

[Axlejames]

AJ, I know that things are not great but you are actually doing fairly well at this point. I have been tapering Zoloft for over 2 years now (off and on) and have only dropped 8%. I would just suggest holding at your current level for a while and forget about further drops. Just go on with life and continue to let yourself heal. You will know when to drop again. 

 

You sure don't want to get me started on the whole social media/internet thing. There is so much false information, risky behavior and stupid thoughts on there that it is ridiculous. 

Thank you and that is exactly what I am going to do. Hold here for a bit and wait till i feel ready again. 

[Axlejames]

Things are progressing along in my life I am actively trying to find a new job as that has been a main factor in my mental health issues the last couple of years. I am going to talk to my Dr. on Monday for my appointment and ask if 25 MG of Sertraline is even doing anything for me if he says probably not or answers in the negative I think I will continue to the next drop. Still have my days lately been ill with a cold but holding it together the best i can. How are you all doing ?

[invalidusername]

25Mg of Sertraline is the therapeutic dose, so it could well be doing something. But either way, once your brain chemistry alters to suit, even smaller amounts will have some effect. 

 

For example, I would feel the drop of just 1mg out of the 30mg of Celexa, but that is largely due to the length of time I have been taking it. 

 

Great news that you are looking for a new job. Just go easy, as it can be stressful.. short term whilst getting into a new environment, but overall, that is fantastic as it will really help with your mental health as you say. Great that you are taking the plunge and active looking to sort these things out in your life. 

 

Proud of you, Brother...

[Axlejames]

25Mg of Sertraline is the therapeutic dose, so it could well be doing something. But either way, once your brain chemistry alters to suit, even smaller amounts will have some effect. 

 

For example, I would feel the drop of just 1mg out of the 30mg of Celexa, but that is largely due to the length of time I have been taking it. 

 

Great news that you are looking for a new job. Just go easy, as it can be stressful.. short term whilst getting into a new environment, but overall, that is fantastic as it will really help with your mental health as you say. Great that you are taking the plunge and active looking to sort these things out in your life. 

 

Proud of you, Brother...

Thank you my friend I also wanted to share things are going well with my GF I will send some photos on Facebook. We have been together for 6 months now its pretty great she is a Nurse and has been so kind and understanding about my health anxiety. 

[fishinghat]

Fantastic!!!!

[Axlejames]

Fantastic!!!!

Seen my dr today he said that at 25 mg Its probably really not doing anythig for me and my handling of stuff is most likely coming from me not the med so we agreed to step down again. to 12.5 

[invalidusername]

Yes, wise not to cold turkey, even at that dose.

 

Can't believe its been 6 months with your girlfriend and it sounds like fate that she happened to be a nurse!

[Axlejames]

Yes, wise not to cold turkey, even at that dose.

 

Can't believe its been 6 months with your girlfriend and it sounds like fate that she happened to be a nurse!

I think the same thing some time about it being Fate what I can say is she is teaching me what a healthy relationship is 

[Axlejames]

Going to start taking the half pill every other day to finalize my taper see how that goes. I have not noticed any change when i cut from 25 to 12.5 we will see how this goes. 

[invalidusername]

Normally, we would advice against taking pills every other day, but Sertraline has quite a long half life of around 24 hours.

 

But please bear in mind as you get towards the end of your 2 day dose, you will be working with 25%. So make sure you are taking them first thing in the morning so the worst will be whilst you are asleep.

 

If you find you experience mini withdrawal-type effects, then you will need to divide the dose and take a pill every 24 hours instead.

 

See how it goes.

[Axlejames]

Normally, we would advice against taking pills every other day, but Sertraline has quite a long half life of around 24 hours.

 

But please bear in mind as you get towards the end of your 2 day dose, you will be working with 25%. So make sure you are taking them first thing in the morning so the worst will be whilst you are asleep.

 

If you find you experience mini withdrawal-type effects, then you will need to divide the dose and take a pill every 24 hours instead.

 

See how it goes.

Thank you great advice I will monitor my withdrawl and see how it goes you rock bud 

[invalidusername]

Always a pleasure AJ.

 

You have done so much you end.... you deserve it....

[Axlejames]

Have gone off the last 4 days and been doing OK I am surprised that I can definetly still feel this drop more dizzyness and some anxiety , however still managable which is a good indicator I am on the right path of tapering. I do not know what the future holds for me yet as far as meds but in the present moment I am strong and resilent I am building myself back up new and without the meds. 

[fishinghat]

Now that is the kind of post that I like reading. You have made my day AJ.

[invalidusername]

Superb stuff AJ - I knew that we would hear this from you one day. You have always had the strength to get there - so glad to see you in this place!

[Axlejames]

Update: Minor set back on the anxiety specifically health anxiety. Went to the dr for a check up of a lump i had and dr ran blood work. All came back good, however i have access to my results i saw that my ldl is 116 and my hdl is 37 marked high and low. I paniced a bit. I have been researching and researching because i dont want to develop heart disease. I found that ant depressants can affect cholesterol there are numerous studies stating this fact. I am wondering if the withdrawal has messed with my ldl and hdl. I am off 2 weeks completely last friday. anyone deal with similar issues with their cholesterol levels ? those numbers at 41 not obese slightly over weight should i freak out ? I will say that i have lost about 5-6 pound in the last couple of weeks and had some higher bouts of stress i have read that can affect lipid levels. I also did not fast for the test as it was spur of the moment. Any advice ?

 

thank you

[fishinghat]

Well AJ, you sure don't want to see my numbers.  lol

 

Those numbers are not worth being concerned. Also they are heavily affected by what you ate in the last 24 hours.

[Axlejames]

Well AJ, you sure don't want to see my numbers.  lol

 

Those numbers are not worth being concerned. Also they are heavily affected by what you ate in the last 24 hours.

That is what I thought i appreciate the advice and sound council as always Hat. I am working on not falling back into old habits. I did slip and fell back into researching and that just fed the anxiety even more, however because I am so bull headed determined to not go back to the ssri I will find a way out. Hope all is well brother.

[Axlejames]

some musings i have been discovering about myself lately. 1. My death anxiety and health anxiety stem from a need to control when and how I die. That is impossible and instead I am working towards accepting that death is inevitable and a part of life. 2. I am not God I do not have the power to control everything instead I should be like water and flow. 3. Most of what I worry about are things that normal people worry about too they just dont react how I do. Other than that I am working on using all my skills to get through this I am on week 3 of being completely off and I can say some days are much easier than others. Windows are there tho so that is good. Had a dermatologist appointment today they took a biopsy , however the dr. said if its anything it is pre pre pre melanoma. I was anxious but reminded myself that my anxiety was good my body is reacting how its supposed to. In any case hope all is well

[invalidusername]

Hey AJ....

 

Your point one is good. Keep on that train of thought. Death is no different to birth - it is just re-birth back to the Other Side. I have absolutely no doubt that moments after we pass away on earth, we are transported to the heavens. I am absolutely not scared of dying. So many people have visions on their death bed, but they cannot say because they pass over soon after.

 

I haven't shared this on the forum ever... but I want to tell you.

 

My grandmother lived with my parents soon after my grandfather died as she was having trouble living on her own. But she was still here for 8 years after my grandfather died. She got ill towards the end and was in and out of consciousness in hospital but she asked that she returned home (to my parents house) to die. She didn't want to die in hospital.

 

We took it in turns to look after her at this point - between my mum, my dad and me. We were by her bedside all the time.

 

She slipped into a coma soon after she got home. She was not responding to anything. But after five days, she suddenly just sat up from the bed, opened her eyes and had a big smile on her face, looking towards the end of the bed. It was amazing. She reached out her arms and then she passed. It was like someone had come to take her away. It was an amazing experience. It is bring me to tears just writing this...

 

Regarding your health anxiety - I fully understand. I have had "popcorn lung". Of course, I Googled it and it said it could be heart failure, so my anxiety has been off the charts because of my drinking. Was I too late to cut back? Have I messed things up? Is my heart in trouble?

 

I know just how you feel. Truly I do. But we have to live for the moment. Every time we put ourselves in the past or the future, we do not help ourselves.... It is so difficult, but this is how we need to live our lives... It sounds like you are really on the way up. Keep going my friend....

 

IUN

[Axlejames]

Been trying to exercise more and that has been going well. I also am just trying to keep my head on straight it is definetly difficult withouth the meds but I am doing it kind of like training wheels. I have been monitoring my stress and when I do get there I have been taking proper measures to destress.

[invalidusername]

One of the most difficult things to do - especially in my experience. 

 

Taking care of yourself and giving yourself the self-love and compassion that you need. I am for sure guilty of taking on so much from other people to the point that it affects me and I don't give myself time out that I need.

 

So, the sooner you can work on this and see the way forward the better. 

 

You can always help other people, but you are no good if the stress takes over and you are not giving yourself the time to recover....

[Axlejames]

Update: One thing I have been reflecting on lately is that without the medication I must try harder than I used to. Try harder to manage anxiety , stress, sadness, etc. Doing things like getting my body moving eating correctly etc.. Some days this is exhausting others I get to feel the pay off. What I can say is so far it is worth it not feeling numb and unplugged all the time has its ups and downs but I do not think the other way was any better. I feel that I am more in charge of myself rather than a pill that is keeping me one certain way there is the other aspect of this I see the world in more of grey zones these days not so black and white. I am still her guys plugging away had a decent thanksgiving and am looking forward to Christmas has it been easy Nope will it get easier one can hope but in the end I just keep pushing through. I love you all and thank God for your support and for our connection here the things I have learned has been so valuable to my growing and learning about my mental health and hell life in general thank you.

[fishinghat]

You are a tough determined guy AJ. My respect to you. Hng in there. 

 

God Bless.

[invalidusername]

This is very much a feeling that occurs with a lot of withdrawals. 

 

From my experience with drinking, I still get times of depression and anxiety, but as you say, you feel more in control of them. The alcohol tricks you into thinking it helps you get rid of it.

 

It does... for a little while, but you are "borrowing" happiness from the next day. When you drink to excess, you pay back the depression and anxiety that you drink to relieve with interest. It is much worse the day after than it would have been if you didn't drinking the night before. But it is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do as it is an INSTANT cure. You are depressed and don't want to deal with it - you go and by a fifth of vodka and after a few drinks it has gone. But the next day... it right there again, but worse. Fortunately, I only even had a drink in the evening, so rather than just carrying on drinking to prevent the feelings, I saw what it was really doing. NEVER again.

 

So, yes, I can relate. I feel a lot more in control of my anxiety and depression. I am probably still recovering a little, but I at least know I am dealing with it, rather than outsourcing the production and control of my dopamine to a bottle. Your brain is getting more and more into control, and whilst there are going to be tough times, you will get through. 

 

And never forget that it is "normal" to be depressed sometimes. If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a human, you would be a game show host! Statistically, men in the US suffer from depression 3 days a month - nearly 1 day every week. 

 

Hang in there - you are doing a great job

 

IUN

[Axlejames]

You are a tough determined guy AJ. My respect to you. Hng in there. 

 

God Bless.

 

 

This is very much a feeling that occurs with a lot of withdrawals. 

 

From my experience with drinking, I still get times of depression and anxiety, but as you say, you feel more in control of them. The alcohol tricks you into thinking it helps you get rid of it.

 

It does... for a little while, but you are "borrowing" happiness from the next day. When you drink to excess, you pay back the depression and anxiety that you drink to relieve with interest. It is much worse the day after than it would have been if you didn't drinking the night before. But it is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do as it is an INSTANT cure. You are depressed and don't want to deal with it - you go and by a fifth of vodka and after a few drinks it has gone. But the next day... it right there again, but worse. Fortunately, I only even had a drink in the evening, so rather than just carrying on drinking to prevent the feelings, I saw what it was really doing. NEVER again.

 

So, yes, I can relate. I feel a lot more in control of my anxiety and depression. I am probably still recovering a little, but I at least know I am dealing with it, rather than outsourcing the production and control of my dopamine to a bottle. Your brain is getting more and more into control, and whilst there are going to be tough times, you will get through. 

 

And never forget that it is "normal" to be depressed sometimes. If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a human, you would be a game show host! Statistically, men in the US suffer from depression 3 days a month - nearly 1 day every week. 

 

Hang in there - you are doing a great job

 

IUN

Thank you both knowing and believing i am strong are different things I am working on the that belief. I did decide to have a few drinks over the weekend last week and that was a mistake I had more than I intended and with that I have had to pay back that borrowed happiness as IUN so perfectly put it. It started with a darker sadness than normal and morphed into intrusive thoughts that get stuck and higher anxiety, however knowing that I made that move and it caused this mood shift is invaluable. In the past i would run back to the pill and to the dr. google and to whatever else instead i opened up to my gf told her what I was feeling and why i thought i was feeling this way and i felt a bit of relief i am about a week over having more than i should have and am bouncing back slowly a note I will make that I am sure everyone has already stated when your in the 1st year of coming off AD do not I repeat DO NOT drink its not worth the set back. Maybe even the 2nd year too who knows. God bless

[fishinghat]

Boy. over the years I have sure heard the alcohol story a lot.  lol  It will pass though AJ. 

 

"knowing and believing ...are different things"

 

That is so true. It is one of the most difficult things for many members to deal with. These drugs effect the amygdala and hippocampus areas of the brain that help regulate anxiety and depression But those areas also control obsessive thoughts and paranoia. So while you may "know" something to be true the "feelings" are telling you something different.

[invalidusername]

So while you may "know" something to be true the "feelings" are telling you something different.

 

That is one of the most profound things you have said over the years Hat. You come up with all sorts, but that is pure gold. So true.

 

Being the spiritualist I am, I follow the line of faith rather than belief. The literal translation of believe is to convince you of the existence of something without proof. But for me, there IS proof. Faith (like hope) is something else entirely. I don't like the word believe. Maybe because I am a scientist. 

 

I could talk all night about this subject, but there is no reason in this day and age whereby scientists cannot be convinced of the existence of a deity. 

 

I have seen, heard and felt enough to convince me. Nothing will change my mind. 

 

You don't get something from nothing.

 

IUN

[Axlejames]

That is one of the most profound things you have said over the years Hat. You come up with all sorts, but that is pure gold. So true.

 

Being the spiritualist I am, I follow the line of faith rather than belief. The literal translation of believe is to convince you of the existence of something without proof. But for me, there IS proof. Faith (like hope) is something else entirely. I don't like the word believe. Maybe because I am a scientist. 

 

I could talk all night about this subject, but there is no reason in this day and age whereby scientists cannot be convinced of the existence of a deity. 

 

I have seen, heard and felt enough to convince me. Nothing will change my mind. 

 

You don't get something from nothing.

 

IUN

You dont get something from nothing ... that line has been valuable in my recover from the existential crisis because even when i start doubting myself even when my anxiety convinces me that there is nothing i always come back to ok but we dont get something from nothing. A creator is the most logical conclusion to the complexity of this life i take that and add Ok life sucks sometimes well than God must want me to move. I also love what Jocko Wilink has said when times suck and things are difficult just say Good. I see that as a way to find the good in all situations.