2784 replies to this topic

[Axlejames]

I am sorry to hear about your uncle my friend. My fathers funeral was yesterday and it went well. He will be missed. I have been struggling lately with just trying to wind myself down. I dont feel as on edge thanks to the meds and time of course but still I feel uneasy and mostly just numb. 

[fishinghat]

Slow but steady my freind.

[Axlejames]

Can grief really effect our mental health so much. Like my anxiety is waaaay up there which surprises me since I understand being sad and depressed but why anxious. I feel tension like something bad will happen cant sleep no real appetite is this all a reaction to my father ?

[fishinghat]

Death in a family is one of the most stressful events that can happen. It not only causes depression from the loss but also makes us realize we will go through the same thing some day and that causes tremendous anxiety.  You are going to have to give this some time AJ.

[invalidusername]

Again, I am here with you AJ. Still remembering my Uncle following his passing at the weekend. Maybe somewhat useful, but work has been really ramped up which has kept me busy.

 

The problem with death is that it is very much a taboo subject in the Western world. We find other ways to say it, like "passed away", or in the case of a pet "put to sleep". We don't even like using the word as it makes us think of the inevitability. We will all get there some day. 

 

I imagine this is tugging on your existential anxiety a little, But remember that almost everyone is aware of what waits for us at the point of death. Even Apple CEO, Steve Jobs, the moment before he died, his gaze shifted from his family to a point in the distance and his last words were "Oh wow... oh wow.. OH WOW!!". A moment of euphoria. We will never know until we get there, but your father is there now. He walked right into this same euphoric moment - and some day, so will we. 

[Axlejames]

Maybe people like me do not have spiritual experiences because if we knew there was an afterlife without a doubt we would end our lives here and not fullfill Gods purpose for us. What do you think ?

[invalidusername]

Tough questions as always!!

 

If we knew of the whole afterlife, we would also know that we are here for a purpose and that ending our life would be of no use whatsoever. A lot of this goes on belief, and being a spiritualist I am of the firm belief that there is most certainly an afterlife and that we are here to learn that which we cannot in the afterlife. If we quit now, we will only have to do it again. I think of it like school - drop out and you will only wish you had stuck it out (no offence to those that have done so - my metaphor is meant in a loose manner!). Those of us who have it tough down here do so because we can handle it. We made the decision what we needed to learn and what we would go through whilst on earth. God, our ancestors and our guides are always there to help us, but ultimately, this journey on earth is our own and we do our best. 

 

Again, this is an opinion of a spiritualist - not that far removed from a christian - except that we look more toward the logic behind the afterlife than belief. Not to say we do not have faith, but for me, the word believe is not the one I use for my religion. I work things out to the best of my knowledge - the rest is my faith. It is more of trust than a belief.

 

Feel free to question me, comment - anyone - not just AJ. I am very firm in my choice of spirituality and have a lot of respect for all those that chose any path that best suits them. Hat is a christian and I love the guy - we might see certain things on a religious front slightly differently, but we both are in awe of the same God, and we both know that we are here to spread the love that has been shown by that same, one and only God. 

 

You, AJ, have had a lot thrown at you. There is no harm in questioning what you do. It may be that is what you needed to achieve in this lifetime, but you are doing a damn fine job.

[Axlejames]

Tough questions as always!!

 

If we knew of the whole afterlife, we would also know that we are here for a purpose and that ending our life would be of no use whatsoever. A lot of this goes on belief, and being a spiritualist I am of the firm belief that there is most certainly an afterlife and that we are here to learn that which we cannot in the afterlife. If we quit now, we will only have to do it again. I think of it like school - drop out and you will only wish you had stuck it out (no offence to those that have done so - my metaphor is meant in a loose manner!). Those of us who have it tough down here do so because we can handle it. We made the decision what we needed to learn and what we would go through whilst on earth. God, our ancestors and our guides are always there to help us, but ultimately, this journey on earth is our own and we do our best. 

 

Again, this is an opinion of a spiritualist - not that far removed from a christian - except that we look more toward the logic behind the afterlife than belief. Not to say we do not have faith, but for me, the word believe is not the one I use for my religion. I work things out to the best of my knowledge - the rest is my faith. It is more of trust than a belief.

 

Feel free to question me, comment - anyone - not just AJ. I am very firm in my choice of spirituality and have a lot of respect for all those that chose any path that best suits them. Hat is a christian and I love the guy - we might see certain things on a religious front slightly differently, but we both are in awe of the same God, and we both know that we are here to spread the love that has been shown by that same, one and only God. 

 

You, AJ, have had a lot thrown at you. There is no harm in questioning what you do. It may be that is what you needed to achieve in this lifetime, but you are doing a damn fine job.

As always I am stunned by your response I miss being a firm believer in things. I think when I had my original meltdown in 2018 when I started coming on here is when I lost my trust in myself. I am really struggling learning to trust my own intuition my own knowledge. I did for a long time and then when everything happened to me I started trusting others and there were sooooo many others Scientist , Atheists , etc.. people who if I met in person I probably would not engage but the internet is so full of answers and everyone has one and everyone is sure. I love that you are sure my friend because I was once that way and i believe I will get there again someday. Sometimes I get it back then something else happens like my breakdown this year and my dad dying and covid. Like you said maybe I am meant to endure for a reason. Years ago when I was going through it all I heard/felt what I believe to be God saying to be still and that I will have a long and fruitful life I just need to trust in him. I am struggling because I have not been doing a lot of the Christian practices lately  like reading my bible or going to church I pray tho. Anyways I guess what I would like to know is how to build trust in myself again ? What can I do to see the spiritual side to life like you do ?

[invalidusername]

Difficult for me to say, but I personally wouldn't concern myself with the fact that you haven't read the Bible or been to church - but being a spiritualist, the whole world is my church - every time I leave the house (or even when I don't) I am an advocate for God's love. Church is for worship, and whilst I am fine with those who do so, I feel my calling is to help others more. I know the bible very well having been raised a Christian and gone to church every week for the first 17 years of my life. 

 

Things will be different for everyone, but that is as it should be as all our paths are different. We all have different roles to fulfill. But again, do not blame yourself for something people have preached to you in order for you to secure your place in Heaven. I want to be careful what I say, but a God of love will admire those who live their life in the way that serve Him. People have testing times - that is part of what we are here for. Even I have them from time to time. 

[Axlejames]

Reading 21 days into the afterlife its pretty good. Also got mere Christianity 

[Axlejames]

So I go to see my dr next Friday I think I am going to asked to be switched back to Zoloft even tho it made me feel a bit numb I think I would prefer it over this Lexapro. Any idea on what I can expect with the change if anything physically and mentally. ?

[fishinghat]

Frequent changing of antidepressants often lead to a huge variety of symptoms.  It is impossible to predict outcome or side effects. Sorry I can't be of more help.

[invalidusername]

Reading 21 days into the afterlife its pretty good. Also got mere Christianity 

 

Interesting that it is written by an MD rather than a PhD. Also a psychotherapist and an advisor to the United Nations. I've downloaded a sample and will be reading this - thanks AJ.

 

Regarding the switch, I am worried that your heath anxiety might be playing a factor here and Hat is right there with what he says - a potential issue with frequent change of meds - known as kindling. The more switching, the less effective the pills. If it needs to be done, then so be it, but just make sure you have all the evidence as this change would need to be a keeper for a fair bit.

[Axlejames]

I am thinking of trying effexor my big issue so far with this drug (lexapro) is my weight. I am a pretty active person and because of the weight gain I cant be the active person I am I am up to 218 pounds thats a full 11 pounds heavier than my normal weight weight. I have reduced calories I have exercised insanely and the weight stays and I just get waay tired cause of the extra weight. I have been researching effexor as a drug to try for my anxiety anyone try this one it would be a new one for me? I have alos been having sexual side effects that have not gone away in the 6 months ive been on this which is another issue. Thank you everyone for the advice and help I appreciate you

[fishinghat]

Basically Effexor is almost the same as Cymbalta. The same type of side effects and also the same type of withdrawal.  Sucks.

[Axlejames]

so the other option I saw was paxil ?

[fishinghat]

Similar to Effexor and Cymbalta but maybe a little better. That is the problem with antidepressants. No good choices. 

[Axlejames]

Similar to Effexor and Cymbalta but maybe a little better. That is the problem with antidepressants. No good choices. 

the last option is Zoloft again

[fishinghat]

As far as side effects and withdrawal it is one of the best. Didn't you try it before?

[Axlejames]

Yeah that was the one i was on before I got on lexapro so maybe that will be the one I go on

[fishinghat]

What dose were you on and for how long? Do you remember?

[Axlejames]

I believe it was 100 mg for about a year year and a half

[fishinghat]

How good an effect was it? Did you have any side effects?

[Axlejames]

None really other than feeling numb like i had feelings of love but they felt superficial

[fishinghat]

Is that better than how you are doing now?

[Axlejames]

I think so because with the zoloft I didnt gain weight and no real sexual side effects

[fishinghat]

If you think the effect of the Zoloft is more positive then you can go back and try it again. Have you ever tried Wellbutrin?

[Axlejames]

so my appt is on Friday I think I will suggest this a switch back to Zoloft but I will be open to hearing his other suggestions so if he suggests effexor I should decline I may try paxil I did it in the past but I had mixed it with alcohol and drugs ( was when I first got back from Iraq) But it did help some thoughts ?

[fishinghat]

You might also consider the wellbutrin as it is often prescribed off label for weight loss.

[invalidusername]

So difficult to say whether similar effects will be noticed another time around.Things can change, especially when there are other meds in-between.

 

As said before, you need to make sure that this change is well thought-out, and you are doing the right thing in tapping us here for advice. You have been through plenty already and we need to look after you brother!!