2784 replies to this topic

[gail]

Finishing your sleeves sounds like a good idea. And since there is no age for a tattoo, I might get a real small one.

[Noush]

Axle - what's your next step regarding medication? Do you feel like you are improving?

[Axlejames]

Not sure yet is it normal this far along in withdrawl to still have trouble sleeping body aches and lots of stress

[Axlejames]

My muscles hurt cant seem to concentrate or relax why cant I relax

[invalidusername]

You can't relax because you are thinking of not being able to relax.

 

And stress is going to happen far worse on any withdrawal. It is a known fact that people become hypersensitive to stress at these times. I for one can certainly vouch for that.

[fishinghat]

Neurotransmitters out of control during the withdrawal. Especially adrenaline. Time.

[Axlejames]

Thank you both so what it feels like now is like I feel some clarity and I'm a bit more able to catch some of these thoughts and stuff but my body and sleep is still affected also with cbd oil had anyone noticed forgetfulness and dizzy spells

[invalidusername]

Neurotransmitters out of control during the withdrawal. Especially adrenaline. Time.

 

Dude - you forgot "patience"

[Axlejames]

I think the cbd oil is no good for me made me foggy and anxious and dizzy

[invalidusername]

That can happen with some people, but make sure these aren't symptoms that you have prior to taking the oil. It helps to relax, it doesn't necessarily relieve too much anxiety.

 

You may also not have a good batch - I have seen a number of people find one supplier to be quite bad having the same symptoms. It is important to find a CBD supplier with history, a good reputation and reviews.

[Axlejames]

Anxious today and very tired it's like they go hand in hand I woke up in the middle of the night clenching my teeth and squeezing my eyes shut not sure what I was dreaming about

[invalidusername]

They absolutely go hand in hand. 

 

I wanted to share something that I do which always kicks off my anxiety in the morning. When I wake, if I am not feeling too bad, my head will insist on testing my anxiety level. Could I go to the supermarket? Could I go to the shops? Eventually I will reach a point that says "no - that scares me", and that is it. All it takes. I get depressed and anxious because I found that point. I try to tell myself that it is better than previous weeks or days, but it just doesn't work.

 

Perfectionism. This has always been an issue for me.

[gail]

Scrat,
I could swear that we are related. My thinking goes the same but after my morning decaf coffee, after I wrote, as I do every day.

Then I close the book. What will I do for my day, write a small list. Then, it usually starts there, like, oh no, I forgot this, shit, probably better if it hadn't cross my mind. This morning as I was doing this, it crossed my mind that my daughter's friend was coming to give me little things. Oh no, how will I manage? I run the water for a quick bath, I must say that all that anxiety stopped as I pulled the plug of the bath!

Now, Scrat, we know what to do with our list, in the bath tub it goes. I must admit that prior the bath, I was so mad at God for letting me live with this monster, I came very close to swearing at God! And praying at the same time God to not let me do this! He said yes.

[invalidusername]

Siddage...

 

The list is a horrible thing and it needs to get fixed and something that I went through in some detail during my last CBT sessions. The therapist had a mantra for me.. "drop the rope". This is because I was always playing tug 'o war with myself (if you know that?). I refuse just to stop fighting myself with the anxiety. I am way too tough on myself.

 

Problem with therapy provided by the NHS here in the UK is that you only get 8 sessions (45 minutes each). Obviously half of those are you getting all your info across to the therapist, so you really don't have a lot of time. The last lot I have was with an amazing woman, and she was genuinely disappointed when we had to stop as we have just started getting beneath the surface of my perfectionism.

 

You then have to wait 6 months before you can refer back - and then 6-8 weeks before they can fit you back in. So 8 months wait. Not the best... and the NHS could put more money in the MH pot, but they don't - and the share is getting less each budget, while MH is on the rise.

[Axlejames]

Iun I'm so so sorry brother I cant imagine having to wait that long Gail I like your bath analogy today is rough I really want to go and find out if your brain really survives 5 hours after death but I'm trying to restrain myself my therapist said mention something yesterday he said maybe I'm chasing questions like this because it helps me avoid reality because I can't deal with the stress of my divorce and the withdrawls maybe hes on to something

[invalidusername]

What your therapist says makes sound advice. Although sometimes, being away from reality is not altogether a bad thing as long as it isn't abused as a tool to face up to reality. This is why I frequently read kids fiction (fairy stories and the like) as it helps me shut off from the outside world and my issues.

 

Anxiety for me was quite bad today. First issue was my online Christmas food shop cannot be delivered, and there is no other grocery store around that can deliver until the end of next week. I can go to the supermarket, but I choose times when it is not busy, but this time of the year, it will be busy ALL the time and I just don't want to put myself through that. So struggling with what to do.

 

Secondly, the wife HAD to go to a store to collect a missed delivery and to the post office to send a parcel. Seeing how bad her nerves were did the same to me. I couldn't go with her as I have been working. But I was crapping myself the whole hour she would have been there.

 

Finished work now - can't face the shopping issue as so exhausted by this all. I'm sure my Lexapro is having an influence on my anxiety level. It is very common for it to get worse in the first couple of weeks.

[Axlejames]

Woke up with the question is there a difference between the soul and consciousness what the heck is wrong with me I was doing good the last 2 days now it's a step back I'm tired of asking myself these questions I just want to relax and enjoy my life but it just seems out of reach I'll read something or watch something and find a satisfying answer and even tell myself ok this is what I believe then a day or two goes by and I feel like I have to go and reassure myself why does this keep happening is this still part of the rewiring process

[fishinghat]

Yes, at least it is not daily anymore. Just continuing withdrawal.

[Axlejames]

Thank you fish you rock how is everyone else

[invalidusername]

Half a bad day, half a good day. I just don't get it!!

 

My mood is all over the place - level out already!!!

[KathyInFL]

That's better than a full bad day! 

[Axlejames]

Same here was doing pretty good till a co worker started asking about Iraq

[invalidusername]

I just want to level out Kathy!! Hopefully the holiday will help with that. Both neighbours above and below my apartment are leaving for families overseas, so I will have a very quiet week ahead, so I look forward to some nice peaceful sleep

 

And axle... your co-worker.. for the love of God. Why do people do this?

[Axlejames]

I dont think he meant to be malicious but it definitely stressed me out I could feel my face flush and all my muscles tense and I was back over there all over again

[invalidusername]

Of course.

 

Not everyone understands the effects that such circumstances can have.

 

Feel for you brother.

[Axlejames]

Woke up wondering about science and the supernatural and psuedo science and so on and there is a lot of atheists out there and atheists scientists I feel like there is a war on faith a war on beliefs and the supernatural

[invalidusername]

16% of the world state they have "no religion" - and less than half of these state they have no belief (7%) And only 3% of Americans state they are athiest - the rest are in China. That is not a lot when you consider the other 93% who do have some system of a belief. And there is no evidence of increase - and in fact US went from 75% to 82% in recent years (up to 2014).

 

Chew over those facts for a while

 

"If it is to be established that there is a God, then we have to have good grounds for believing that this is indeed so.

Until and unless some such grounds are produced we have literally no reason at all for believing"

 

This is what they base their foundations on. The fact that there is (of feel there is) no evidence. If you prove it, we will believe it kind of thing. They are afraid to look at the evidence in my opinion. These people do not like to be proved wrong.

 

I don't care what people say to me - I am sure of what I believe and where we are going

 

A world without faith? We do not need that.

[Axlejames]

Thank you iun amazing as always as my mind becomes clear and starts to wire itself things like that are helpful reminders of the world we live in I basically have been living under a rock my entire adult life because I didnt even know that some scientist believed this

[invalidusername]

You get facts and figures from me being a scientist!! But I felt they would help given your last few messages. 

 

The thing is, there is rarely "evidence" that conclusively proves something. In research we have something called a confidence interval (or CI), which states that a hypothesis would be correct 90% of the time, or 95% of the time (which would be a CI of 95%). No academic research states a 100% CI - it is not possible. 

 

Therefore atheists are looking for the 100% and it will never be found, and if that is what their closed mind is happy with, then so be it.

[fishinghat]

IUN - China's data is biased because in China it is against the law to believe in Christianity or be a Muslim and punishment can be severe as death.