2784 replies to this topic

[Noush]

Fishinhat - No I didn't have any chocolate, Caffeine or Sweets. We did however have a KFC for dinner, but this was around 4.30pm & didn't wake with the racing heart until midnight. I had the same last night. Only managed around 3 hrs sleep I reckon. I have taken my blood pressure this morning and it's 134/93 which is quite night.

It is a week today that I went back up 20 beads. Would you stick with it a few more days or another full week?

[Axlejames]

I dumped out a quarter of the powder woke up pondering existence why does that happen to me sometimes is it my anxiety playing tricks on me

[Axlejames]

Fish can you weigh in on this or anyone I think I'm suffering from existential depression not sure if once again this is a side effect from withdrawl and if so how do I get through it

[fishinghat]

Noush - Time is not the issue. It is how you feel. Stay with the your current dose until your body feels like it is strong enough to continue. That can take a couple more days or a couple more months. Once one begins to change ADs or adjust doses things just seem to get more complicated in a hurry and no idea how to proceed because there is no method that will positively work, only educated guesses.

AJ - Relax, withdrawal. You can not answer this kinds of questions until your withdrawal is over.

[Axlejames]

I know fish I just woke up this morning and my first thought was why do I exist and then just my mind dwelled on that and still is I dont need an answer just wondering if this happened to you or anyone and how you got through it

[fishinghat]

I didn't have that issue myself but have read several posts that others have made who made similar comments as yours. Like the emotional issues they either gave up waiting and went on another AD or just waited and suffered. It really just depends on how bad it is and if you can tolerate it. It is all part of that fear, paranoia, OCD part of your amygdala and hippocampus.

[Axlejames]

Well it sucks but gonna have to just keeping pushing through thank you fish

[fishinghat]

I wish I could do more but eventually you should see small breaks at first and slowly get better.

[Axlejames]

You are doing a lot just by reassuring me that this is normal and that it is something I can conquer and push through

[gail]

Has anyone seen IUN this morning?

AJ, I love your question, why do we exist? I would answer to this, we're here to learn about love.

Earth calling Scrat?

[Axlejames]

Thank you Gail it's been a tuff day so far my whole world has been shaken up and my brain is trying to make sense of it all

[Axlejames]

Have not seen iun

[Axlejames]

I hope he is ok and knows we ate thinking of him

[invalidusername]

Hi Axle...

 

Apologies for my late arrival here today. I have had nothing short of a nightmare - to the point I have not been on my laptop since I woke. But I am here now.

 

Reading up on the days discussion here, what Fish has said about some questions I have to say he is right, as hard as it is to hear. If we answer these questions in our state, the answer will undoubtedly be wrong anyway. 

 

Our world just does not make sense at all. I got anxious just because I was about to eat a biscuit earlier. Really - what is that about?! There was no reason. I just looked at the biscuit and got a brief wash of anxiety. Not panic, but the sort you get when somewhere comes up to and says "Axle... we need to talk". The twinge in the belly. I still ate the biscuit and of course nothing happened!

 

With all that is going on it is difficult to keep track of everything that has been said, but do you, or have you suffered OCD at any point? This would go a long way to explaining questions that are forever coming to you...

[Axlejames]

Yes I have OCD was diagnosed after Iraq with anxiety ,ptsd,depression ,OCD, ADHD and borderline personality disorder

[Axlejames]

Normally my OCD doesnt hinder me much I used to use it to my advantage keeping things in order and such

[invalidusername]

OK OK. Well we have an answer for the reason of a lot of these questions.

 

Unfortunately OCD preys on stress, and so you will have this unfulfilled want to get answers. It is the reassurance you are craving, and this is totally normal for someone with OCD. I guarantee it.

 

Let's do a quick Google search...

 

OK - straight away we have it;

 

https://www.verywell...seeking-2510549

 

But the thing is asking some of the questions you have already is normal - OCD or not. But some of the religious questions, this comes under this banner and Fish is right on the money. We shouldn't be answering these questions as the article says. It is a case of realising what is going on in your head at the moment.

 

Regardless, you are part of the family here, so if you need to ask, just ask, and we will deal with it the best way suitable for you to get you better.

[fishinghat]

Oh guys I can so relate to what you are experiencing. I can so relate to how you feel about this matter. It all boils down to a simple out of control chemical imbalance and that imbalance is generating those emotions and thoughts as if they were true. Stimulating the same brain centers that would be stimulated if those thoughts were actually true. BUT knowing it is just a chemical imbalance doesn't keep it from feeling real. Patience.

[Axlejames]

Well that is an eye opener if I dont look at my phone throughout the day researching nde and Gods existence and why I'm here and so on the OCD thoughts will lose their power because at the end if the day that article is right but it's me reassuring myself you would be surprised how many pages I have bookmarked on the matter it boils down to my world being shaken and me looking for answers

[invalidusername]

This is a great step forward I feel, and I am glad you found the article useful. The more we can understand about you, the better chance we have of helping you.

 

Damn, this will be difficult for you, but you are right to try to reel in some of the bookmarking and so forth.

 

As Fish says, a lot of help is in the understanding - and as you have found before. Even though I don't have OCD, I am still Googling answers and bookmarking. I think this comes from a lack of patience with the whole withdrawal thing.

[Axlejames]

Well hopefully I can stick with it and just stop giving it power over me because tbh its ruining my life I cant enjoy my life my kids my job because I'm so obsessed

[invalidusername]

I feel for you man. Wife has it, so I can feel the pain. Sister has it too when she is stressed. 

 

Amazing how widespread it is just in my immediate circle of family!

[Axlejames]

But if it's a product of withdrawl and stress then avoiding some stress and stop searching for answers should alleviate it ???

[fishinghat]

Not totally but it will help. My therapist put me on a stress isolation. No looking things up, no phone calls, no visitors, etc and it helped me calm a lot.

[Axlejames]

Has anyone ever experienced someone just dying with no warning what's so ever like on tv or are there usually signs see that's my deep fear about everything and I m worried about it all

[gail]

Many years back, in my twenties. A man started to talk to me , then bam, he died in front of me. There were no signs.

Those deep fears are not the usual you, anxiety, OCD, PTSD etc. You don't come back from Iraq intact. Meanwhile, you talk about it, it's not kept inside. That is good.

Have a good night sleep.love, Gail

[invalidusername]

That'll be the heart timing stuff getting at you again mate.

 

Short or long QT when undiscovered can cause this. But you are fine!!!

[Axlejames]

I'm exhausted spent then entire day at work on my phone worrying and looking for definitive answers to questions there are no real answers too my mind is overloaded again and I feel like I will be like this forever I had a couple of great days but I dont ubderstand how this keeps happening I'll feel good things are good then BAM back to square one anxiety depression so on its troubling I used to care about what I ate and how I looked now I dont care at all why do I feel like this Gail that is super scary if that ever happens to me I hope to God someone would be there to save me in any case my ears are ringing neck is stiff just extreme uneasiness I need help

[invalidusername]

I think Gail has turned in for the night, so, it'll have to be me for now!!

 

The drop from good days to bad are always a kick in the stomach. It is a failure in our eyes. We achieved the good days, and then we somehow loose it. But it is never square one. I keep thinking that but it is not the case. I have got stronger, but life has also thrown a load of crap at me since, so it just seems like I haven't gone forward. 

 

Not caring about ones appearance is also par for the course with depression. Why should you care? You feel low and don't care what people think of you. This is completely normal. I stopped shaving about 3 weeks ago, so I just tell people I am growing a beard. I've not got as far as turning my underwear inside out yet, but I can see how that could happen!!

 

I am trying to put as much faith in my hope for better days as I prepare to sleep. Having had such a nightmare week, it is difficult to close my eyes without being petrified of what the next day will bring, but I just have to keep on. A good day will come along soon. They always do. I just wish I had the patience. 

[Axlejames]

Iun I have hope the days will get better and they will I trust what fish says time and patience we got this I am going to work harder at letting go and just allowing things to come my dear friend please remeber you are not in this alone either I am glad for your help I think that if i cant seem to get past this OCD thinking i may need to find a new med and start getting off the duloxetine since I cant go up on the dose and it's obviously not doing anything for me I dont really know what to do to be honest