2348 replies to this topic

[Lovey]

Hi friends! Sorry I have been absent so long! Iun helped me through a rough patch. I'm building my support system in real life too, with my church ladies groups and such. Training my mind to operate in the positive is a full time venture that I am prepared to conquer one day at a time. Each of you that reads this is so valuable and wonderful! I am so grateful for this group.

[fishinghat]

"I am prepared to conquer one day at a time"

well said and it will get easier with time.

[invalidusername]

There's my knitting girl!!

 

Not heard from you today, so must have been good!

[LDN]

Lovey! Great to hear from you!! 

 

Just one day at a time is the case for me too! So we are in this together!! 

 

Great you have the Church ladies group and you are building a support system! 

 

Keep up the great work! I will be praying for you my friend!! 

 

Love and light to you!!

[Lovey]

Thanks LDN. I'm working on teaching online clases... Setting up my workspace tomorrow. May be a 2 day process... we will see. It's tough for me to retain my focus... But I will muscle through! Are you back in the countryside?

[Lovey]

I think i will sleep well tonight. Good night all. Lovey

[LDN]

Hey Lovey! Yeah I am back in the countryside now and plan to unwind for a bit. Feeling very flat and low, but just having acceptance of the situation. Today I was very depressed. That's cool you teach online - is that art classes? It sounds like you are doing great! 

 

I will be praying for you! 

 

Love and God Bless!

[Lovey]

I'm sorry you're feeling depression. I'm experiencing a lot of difficult and painful emotions. I know I need to spend more time with others tomorrow as I stayed in cleaning and arting most of the day. I'm working towards teaching online classes yes for art. Might start with kiddos and then maybe adults too. Working out the details. Good night all.

[LDN]

I am so sorry you are experiencing a lot of difficult and painful emotions, Lovey. I will keep praying! I think you are doing so well and this is all part of our journey. Healing is a tough process but you will make it! 

 

That is exciting about teaching art online! What an exciting project! 

 

I hope you have a great weekend my friend!

 

Love and God Bless!

[Lovey]

Thank u LDN! I definitely believe our prayers for each other are heard and are powerful. Keeping our minds fixed on Christ we go on!

[Lovey]

Is there ever a good time to taper? I am worried about long term effects. I've been on this for three years now. Stuck trying to taper for the past year and paused when covid hit. What do you guys think?

[Lovey]

I am concerned about long term damage the longer I am taking this. Also weighing the difficulty I have had when trying to taper and where I am in my life. Hat and Iun if you could weigh in I'd be grateful. Been at 18 beads 2x a day since March-April. I'm in trauma therapy and seeing a functional neurologist for brain rehabilitation as I've had multiple traumatic brain injuries and it's helping and also causing temporary retracing of symptoms of the tbi of nausea and more dizziness.

[fishinghat]

Your situation is unique Lovey. With the history of traumatic brain injuries it is very difficult to tell how it will effect you long term. I can tell you that only a small percentage mention anything past 2 or 3 years. A couple of members who had developed tinnitus and some who other apparent residual effects but nothing serious. 

 

If you haven't made a drop since March-April I was wondering if it was time to make a small drop again. How do your symptoms now compare to back then? Are you having a lot of swings in your symptoms?

[Lovey]

Hat, thanks for responding. I've had tinnitus since age 15... I am going to wait at least thru the week. I have a root canal Tuesday (another one!) And another session with my trauma specialist and functional neurologist... All that will be plenty of business for my brain to attend to. Will consider maybe next week.

I have had an increase of symptoms this past week. More dizziness and nausea. Eye strain and fatigue, mood is pretty good all things considered. Feel like I'm falling back in space sometimes. Hotness in my ears.

[fishinghat]

A lot of that is probably due to the brain trauma and the stress from the upcoming dental/medical visits. Wise to wait to drop. The relative stability in emotions is a good sign you are about ready.

[Lovey]

Sounds good! Thanks for your wisdom. ❤️

[invalidusername]

There is never a good time to taper for fear of the unknown, but plenty of good times NOT to taper

 

Was saying to Lovey earlier about how I have put my Citalopram drop off for a year now!! 

 

Scared? Me? Naaahhhh!!

[Lovey]

Nothing much new to report. I have another functional neurologist treatment on Thursday. This process makes me feel somewhat shaky for a few days sometimes. Like I need to take it easy as my brain rebuilds and integrates connections we work on connecting at the sessions. I am so f-ing tired of making these pills. Maybe will try a one bead drop on Sunday. Ugh.

[LDN]

Hey Lovey! It really sounds like you have such huge amount going on right now! Bravo for keeping going!! I hope everything goes well on Thursday! 

 

I have been unwinding myself and just giving my brain sometime to just re-charge! It is slow but I am starting to feel a bit more energy! Just keeping my focus on God! 

 

I will be praying for you!! You are such a fighter!! It is very inspiring!! 

 

God Bless!

[Lovey]

LDN thank you so much. Your encouragement and recognition means so much. I come from a very unhealthy family system who gives criticism instead of encouragement. I'm exhausted. Dentist for 2fillings bright and early. Trying to be gentle with myself. I'm trying to find a friend I can really trust to come with to the neuro appointments for moral and emotional support. The Dr. Falls a bit short there and I feel very vulnerable. You sound great. Good advice.

[LDN]

Hey Lovey, I'm so sorry to hear that about your family system, I know it is very common. WOW 2 fillings!! You have so much going right now! It is really is inspiring to see! You are so so brave!! It really does keep me motivated seeing how well you are doing! So thank you my friend!! 

 

I had a tough day today, very intense depression! It is exhausting! But I put myself in God's hands! I am here to serve him! I let go and trust God's plan! 

 

Definitely agree about being gentle on ourselves! We are human after all not robots!! It is totally fine and normal to have bad days! 

 

Keep up the great progress! 

 

God Bless and Love!!

[Lovey]

LDN
Thank you.
I'm having much lonliness today myself.
I'm so sorry to hear of your intense depression. I know that feeling well. Unfortunately. I get seasonal affective disorder and I'm afraid it's begun already. Shorter days and financial stress without a great support system wears on the soul. I'm keeping busy with my house drawing and Dr. Appointments. Trying to focus on Christ. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong that I'm feeling so sad. Anger at a crappy family maybe? Sadness over my hyper sensitivity that makes life such a challenge for me. Anyway enough venting. I have much to be thankful for and the future is up to me now. The past I cannot change. Love to you. Lovey 💓

[Lovey]

Good morning friends, hope you have a great day everyone. Stop and say hi!

[fishinghat]

Hello Lovey. My day is busy but good. We are in a severe drought but on the flip side nearly everyday since July 1st has been sunny.

[invalidusername]

Goodness Hat... 

 

If its not a flood, it is a drought.

 

My prayers are with you, brother.

[LDN]

Sorry to hear that Fishinghat. Sending love and prayers! 

[LDN]

Hi Lovey, really sorry to hear about your loneliness. I have seasonal affective disorder as well! Is the part of America you live in cold? It's why I want to move somewhere that is sunny all year!! I would love to be out on the West Coast!! The early darkness is a real trigger for my depression! So I am so sorry you face it too! 

 

'I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong that I'm feeling so sad' - yes I relate to this feeling so much right now!! I keep thinking 'why am I so sad??'. Ultimately I think for me it is just my brain chemistry. I am still feeling run down and add in the shorter days like you say and it just creates a really low mood for me. I have a headache and just generally feel exhausted with life. But that is ok. We have good days and bad days, and sometimes those bad days last a few weeks!! So we have a bad few weeks, but the main thing is keep living with the focus on Christ! Trust God's plan! I try to not read too much into me not feeling great but just go with the flow and let go. 

 

'Sadness over my hyper sensitivity that makes life such a challenge for me' - oh wow you describe me perfectly here too!! I am just like this!! It really is tough for us who are so sensitive isn't it? But sensitivity people like us have lots of strengths too, like being artistic, like you are! Also it means when we have good times, we really enjoy them!! 

 

As you say we have much to be thankful for you! That is so true and a fantastic perspective! We have our faith and with faith you can move mountains, as Jesus said!

 

I will be praying for you Lovey!! I am very inspired by your perseverance and hope!

 

God Bless!

[Lovey]

What nice to hear from you. Yay for sunny days. The drought, not so good!!

LDN- thank you for your perspective. I don't like anyone to suffer but it helps knowing someone understands what I'm feeling a little. 😊🙃🤪

I have a good group of professionals helping me. I am optimistic and hopeful and believe I can heal. Today is the functional neurologist in an hour and a half. He targets rehabilitation of brain function due to trauma. It's interesting and a little scary. I'm bringing a friend to help me feel more supported today.

The sound and light sensitivity are off the charts. Very big triggers for me.

My family of origin is so dense and unkind that it is a disservice to continue to think they have the capability or capacity to begin to approach understanding it being of any real help to me. They are cruel even basically implying it's not as bad as I say and that I am somehow to blame bc I am too sensitive!! Ha!

[LDN]

Hi Lovey I really hope it went well today at the functional neurologist. I actually am very sensitive to sound and light, sound in particular! We seem to have a lot of similarities in our conditions! 

 

I am so sorry about your family situation. Just know you are very brave, so so brave, more brave than you can imagine! It is really inspiring to see. Jesus must be so proud of you!! 

 

Bravo and I will keep praying! 

 

God Bless!

[Lovey]

Thank you LDN your words are so kind and true. It went very well. Bringing a friend was very helpful. I have hope for recovery. Still half asleep it only before 6 am here. Talk soon.