2348 replies to this topic

[LDN]

Hey brother! Oh man I had such a stressful night the wi fi on my phone wasn't working and I needed to message someone on insta, had to google all the possible tips and after having tried everything my last option was a complete restart which meant I had to switch all my stuff onto my computer as it would be deleted otherwise!! Just as I was about it to do this, the wi fi started working!!! Ah man honestly it has done me in! I was getting so stressed over it! I have ZERO idea what the problem was and what is going on! But man it is stressful!  

 

My day was okish. Went out for 55 minutes in the field and felt really weird - a combination of depression and isolation and negative thoughts and worry about my self esteem. Was pretty horrible but tried to just let it all in - the weird feelings and horrible thoughts. Other than that just resting, and feeling very overwhelmed. I am in withdrawal so anyway life is a bit confusing so add this cv and literally having 3 days to mentally prepare for coming down here, it is an overwhelming situation! I mean normally I have literally MONTHS to mentally prepare for coming down here, this time 3 DAYS!!! I must say I am very proud of how yesterday went, the journey and everything. I couldn't have dreamed a year ago of doing something like that. I have made incredible progress in this last year - helped hugely by you! Almost having to pinch myself at how Christmas and then yesterday have gone, just a extraordinary improvement. 

 

It will take a few days to settle and it doesn't having a crisis with my phone!!! 

 

I am very proud of you for having 4 hours - massive well done for that!! You have really steadied yourself having 2 days of work now! Immensely proud of you! It will slowly improve. Throughout the history of man there has been crises. Plagues, Spanish flu, invasions, storms, other natural disasters - so for me I am accepting that this is part of the human experience. One positive is the planet. In China emissions are hugely down. Plus the predict the aviation industry will collapse. Obviously I am sorry for all those who loose their jobs but so many people fly more than they need to. We live in a beautiful country, you don't have to fly all over the world every year. I am hoping people can connect more with the simple things and will come out of this with a new perspective. Newton came up with gravity in quarantine and Shakespeare wrote King Lear. So I am trying to place in the broad picture of history. 

 

Also you would think it is all quiet but let me tell you something - we have an army of Rooks in the garden!!!!!!! Last night it was so loud when I was trying to go to bed!!! I can't put in ear plugs because if my ears get blocked I won't be able to syringe them for months! Even now as I type I can hear them!! There are loads of nests in the garden. I did manage to get to sleep but it will take time to adjust to it! 

 

There are no more sheep in the field as the grass is too short for them! 

 

Nice about the loo paper!! 

 

Well done again for a smashing achievement today!

 

Love you brother! 

 

God Bless

[LDN]

Hi Lovey I am praying for you!! Sounds your garden is coming along great!! I hope you have a wonderful time painting!! Also I write myself! 

 

I found your post last night incredibly beautiful! So thank you very much! I love having here as part of the family!! 

 

You have faced so much in your life by the sounds of it but how you speak of God is so beautiful and gives me huge inspiration!! I relate very much with your words!! 

 

Sorry you are feeling a bit lonely! Hopefully you can loose yourself in the writing and painting!! I don't paint but I love it and have studied art history!! 

 

Are you in the US? 

 

I will be praying deeply for your growth and healing! I pray that you are filled with God's love for you and feeling so much joy! 

 

 

So much love and God Bless!!

[LDN]

Bonjour Gail! 

 

I am praying for your gum! I am so sorry my love! Really hope you can talk to your doctor soon!! 

 

As always you shine a light, a light of love and joy, a light of God - a light I adore!! 

 

You are such a hugely special person and I admire you with all my heart!! You have a true gift!

 

I love you so much! JOY IS COMING!!!

[gail]

London,

I spoke to the doctor Wednesday, she is making a priority case of it. She will try to get me to see specialist in ORL. NOSE, EARS AND THROATH SPECIALIST adding that in these hard times, patience is needed. So, just hoping and praying that the tumor stops in growth.

Reached 95% acceptance in that area. Thank you God. With lots of love my Prince!

[gail]

Mrs Scrat, thank you so much for answering me yourself. When I asked if it was easy, well, you never know. I hope that I didn't insult you, sorry if I did.

Scrat, the situation seems to get better for you, starting small and growing. With all the prayers said for each other and more, you will get through this Eartly experience soon.
Lots of love and lovage for you. BTW, the tumor does not hurt, it's just gets on my nerves. And my tongue is always touching it. A love affair between the two.lol

[invalidusername]

Hi Gailage,

 

There was no insultage this end!! Don't worry. She was joking when she said it. 

 

Rooks are a bird - quite large and black all over and have a very annoying noise "caa-caaawwww". They repeat this a lot over and over and it can make you insane so I really understand how LDN felt last night. You can see one here;

 

https://quiz.naturei...3d5287aaab5.jpg

 

I have had a very difficult day. My sister and her husband have made things worse by telling my parents not to see anyone at all or do anything. They think they know better than me about everything and they only make things worse. My father is no more at risk of the cv than he is of normal flu, and the cv will continue long after this isolation period, so unless he spends the rest of his life in this incubation, what is he going to do? He has very little in his life apart from the family and now my sister has scared them so much and told them that no-one is to see them - even with masks and gloves. It is stupid and I feel awful because of all this.

 

Prayers will continue for everyone.

 

Lovage

 

IUN

[gail]

Scrattage,

Even with masks and gloves? A scuba diving suit perhaps?lol

You're not stupid, if you have symptoms, you'll stay home!

Protective sister! Honestly, I don't know what I would do. If someone knocks at my door, I put my mask before. Even with my best friend, I must say that he still goes out, he's most the time out. So he stays at the door entrance when I need something. This will be like that till Corona dies.

Phone calls will be a la mode! So sorry you feel this way. But she should have had a conversation with you before going to your mom and dad. This makes it worse for you.

She's only being protective. Over protective to be on the safe side. Corona, you make us nuts!
Don't take what she said personally, it includes everyone. Love and lovage my sweet Scrat.

[invalidusername]

It has made me very upset Gailage.

 

My sister has always had a problem with me because I have university education and she does not, I have a successful business and her business went bad... so she does anything she can to make herself look important. It is not right that I have to suffer because of her problems. I can understand this for you for sure. But I have taken every precaution I can. I have not been within 3 metres of my parents, and everything I touch without gloves I sanitise. 

 

What people do not understand is that stress and mental health causes more problems with immunity than being in the same room. When your spirits are low, your immunity is VERY weak, and this is what my sister did not understand. She has caused more problems for my parents, they are now stressed and therefore, their immunity will be lower. We needed to keep them happy.

 

One week has passed... 11 more to go... if we are lucky. I don't know if I will make it...

 

Lovage

[invalidusername]

Evening brother...

 

What a nightmare with the phone man!! That was the last thing you needed after all that has been going on, but glad you got everything sorted out. Your description of depression and isolation and negative thoughts pretty much sums up my day too. I know the whole world is in a similar situation, but it still feels so lonely. And for you to have prepared everything in 3 days is nothing short of amazing. Yes, a year ago, this would simply not have happened - I am glad you are seeing how this has all come about. This is now your third trip in such a short amount of time after years of never being in the country. Nothing short of incredible.

 

I was thinking just what I would give to be there with you and your dad at the moment. It is not all about the cv, but my life in general. I really feel like I want to walk away from it at the moment - leave it all behind. Just to be in a field, not having to run away from people for fear of catching anything, or concern myself over work or damn toilet paper. Like you say, some amazing things can come of isolation, it is all down to the spirit you bring with it, which is why I am so upset today. You will see from my previous post to Gailage that there has been family issues again. My work has been severely compromised, so I am starting to worry for money, the wife seems blissfully unaware of the trouble that we are in. People are talking about the government helping out the self-employed but lets be serious - like that is going to happen when they cannot even shell out for virus testing where it is most necessary. I just hope everyone does their part as best they can and that we will see figures start to drop in a couple of weeks. It worked in China, it worked in Korea, but the UK are so naive....

 

I need to drop you a PM, so I will sign off here and move over to the messages. But another massive well done from me for all the bravery you have shown over the last few days with prescriptions, phones, journies, packing and so forth... truly awesome.

 

Much love brother

 

God Bless

[LDN]

Hey brother! Man so tired today! Went outside and felt weird again. Other than that just resting. 

 

I must say moving right late in my withdrawal is really destabilizing. Like in London I was coping just about but was finding it very very up and down and stressful and now I am suddenly in the middle of the countryside and sort of thinking 'wait just happened'. Everything is a blur. I really feel this is not ideal at all. At the beginning of my withdrawal I said I would be in London the whole process for stability. I have SO SO much trauma associated with withdrawal after that horrific summer of 2018. So this added stress is so much. How I coped so well on Thursday, my god, I can't believe it!!! But it has now caught up with me! I just feel so disorientated!

 

Also I am having severe self esteem issues and feeling absolutely terrible about myself - just really bad depressive thoughts really. But the uncertainty with my withdrawal just adds in an extra factor. I feel so low. 

 

I really resonated with your words. You fancy a little Summerland holiday brother?? I think that would do us the world of good! 

 

Oh wow just feeling so weird here! 

 

Really sorry about your family situation. As you say obviously your sister has an inferiority complex by the sounds of it. It sounds like you are being compassionate by taking into account those emotions she is feeling. Not justifying the behaviour but just these actions normally come from a place of hurt and pain. Most people are good, but we are complex creatures. We are soul in animals bodies, with all the instincts that come with being an animal. All we can do is try our best while we are down here in this earth experience! Which certainly you are doing! 

 

In terms of the government - i think it very likely that they will send out some support for the self employed. In America they are doing that. I know they are many facets of this which they are not handling so well, to put it mildly, but I do believe measures will be brought in for self employed. Fist few days of next week I would expect the Chancellor to announce something. Remember there are so many in your boat, so so many. 

 

So lets try and remember the Summerland, our home in all this and the bigger picture! So much joy awaits us brother - never forget this!!! 

 

I will be praying my brother! We are together! Together we will make this! I am here for you!!! Don't forget this!!! We will make it!!!

 

Love you so much brother! 

 

God Bless!

[LDN]

Gail my love 95% acceptance!!! Bravo my love!!!! 

 

I will keep praying for it! 

 

You are doing great my love! 

 

Happy the doc made it priority case! 

 

Love you so much Princess!!

[gail]

Scrat, now I understand better the situation you're in. I didn't know that you word mask and gloves and stayed many meters away from your mom and dad. You would be wise to call them and explain that you are taking real precautions not to hurt them. All is perfect in what you are doing.

If your sister doesn't bite your head off, a call to her to say that mom and dad need your presence and all precautions taken. You can fix that sweet Scrat. For friends and strangers, I understand but not you my sweet. I remember the trouble she caused at XMas time.

I do think that you can fix all that. With love, lovage.

PS a rook is a kind of a crow. If I understand correctly. Love and prayers for you and Mrs Scrat.

[gail]

My dear London,

I see that you are in a bout of depression that won't last long. Eventually, you will have a God moment and that is of great help. Time and patience. I know that those hours don't last long, so I'm not worried.

As long as you have God to talk to, you'll be fine in no time.

Did we really ask to go through this Eartly experience? I'm not sure but the outcome will make us and all the world more loving and compassionate. Yes, God has a plan throughout this calamity. Lots of lives have been taken away, like during the wars. Is that the price to pay for a better world?

No sheeps, so sad. Other animals? And you heard the meowing twice, a big welcome from your lover. Wow! Lots of love and strength and hope, your princess from Canada!

[invalidusername]

Gailage,

 

Yes, I have mask and disposable gloves. They will not listen to me and do what I suggest because it will cause more arguments with my sister. You are right to remember Christmas - that is just another example - and yes, she should have spoken to me before she did this. 

 

I told them that I will visit with mask etc, but they tell me that seeing me wearing a mask will only upset them more so not to do it. And again, they forget that I have mental health problems and that I am already suffering greatly. They only care for themselves and I will never get used to it. They need to think more about other people and what their actions do to other people.

 

A rook is the same family as the crow, but much bigger. They are one of the largest birds in the UK with their wings measuring almost a metre! They can be quite scary!!

 

How are your gums today? I have been praying for your recovery for this... my poor Canadian angel

 

Lovage

 

Scrat

[gail]

My dear scrattage,

Most of all, thank you for those prayers. The tumor is not getting smaller and is bothersome. As long as I don't panic, I'm mostly vulnerable today and since I can't control this tumor, I so need those prayers. If I focus on this shit, I'm done.

I read that your father is away, that hurts a lot! Is that a new law to take away people over 70? Don't tell me yes, please. Or is it your sister? And your mom in this, I will stop here, tears are rolling down.

We don't have those birds where I live, but I hear that they are huge. How can London keep them away? I will ask him. Much love and strength ❣❤ and more ❤ lovage. Your Gailage.

No need to answer as I will read about it Tonite. Repose toi!

[invalidusername]

Sweet Gailage,

 

You are right to try your best not to focus - we can get so caught up with things if we can't stop thinking about one thing. Just like the shit virus. More prayers will be said this evening before my meditation - it pains me to hear you are vulnerable. 

 

All people over 70 have been told to stay indoors for 12 weeks, and this started on Friday. They are allowed to go shopping, but it is suggested that other people do this for them. Our grocery stores are open between 9am-10am only for these people, but younger people are abusing this saying that they are doing shopping for their older parents and steal all the food and toilet roll. They cannot control this - I hate it. 

 

My father is locked down completely. He cannot go outside at all. He has a downstairs area with a kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. Because he has Parkinson's, his lungs are very slow because of the muscles - they are very rigid and do not move well. So if he got this virus, it would be an early ticket to Summerland. But it is like prison and I cannot bear to see him like this. My mother is still in tears. It is so painful. No-one should ever have to go through this. I have had a good cry today too.

 

You cannot do much about the rooks as they can come together and you cannot scare them like smaller birds. They have also been known to attack humans!!

 

I am glad to say that cv figures for UK are down 40% today, but how this will continue I do not know. I will just remain a fish in my bowl and wait for it all to leave me...

 

Much lovage - please keep writing - we all need to keep each other company.

 

Scrattage

[invalidusername]

Evening brother...

 

It has been such an emotional day. You will read from the above to Gailage. I woke up and felt immediately like a prisoner serving time for a crime I didn't commit. I just could not find enthusiasm to do anything knowing that there are still so many days to get through. It is so tough. It got to about 4pm and the phone went. A call out. F**k it I though excuse the language), and I just went and did it. Was an hour out and about and a few quid earned. I obviously took precautions but I cannot bear this solitude. 

 

As you know my Sundays are so difficult, and now every day will be the same. I am so worried. Sure I can go out walking, but I will be alone. I can't visit either of my parents, my weekend friend is isolating, most of my clients are too and if I see my sister and family, I will probably go crazy at them. 

 

Thank you for your words on the PM and understand your position - it is something I really need to deal with myself....

 

So... what you say. A blur. What just happened? Your words speak a thousand more. I can feel your emotion. It is the poet in you. You always have a way with the right words. The whole world has stopped spinning. Times Square is empty. Trafalger Square is just a field of pigeon poo. It is like armagedon. It doesn't feel real. We are all suddenly in a computer game environment waiting to be controlled by unknown forces and we have no idea where we are being taken.

 

I can really understand that you needed London for your stability - just like I need my 4-6 hours minimum out and about to maintain my progress now I have finally got a schedule, only for it to be taken away like a rug from underneath my feet, which is what I am hearing from you. We are all characters through the looking glass. Most on earth have never been in this situation. I had one client I spoke to earlier in the week who remembers WW2 being similar, but obviously a lot worse. He said it started the same way. One moment everyone was outside enjoying a cup of tea, and the next, he was called up to fight there and then. Woh! What just happened? You don't have time to think - you just do.

 

Disorientating indeed brother. Very much. A Summerland holiday would be amazing. What I would give to just get away from it all.

 

But just like recovery - we are already there and in it and each day is another closer to the end. And there will be an end. We can only hope that our stupid population and government wake up and do what is right instead of always thinking about the money. 

 

You think us self employed will be looked after? That would be nice for sure. But I would rather it simply come to an end sooner. I am trying to be optimistic. Today we have gone -40% in new cases, Italy have dropped 1000 new cases for the first time in 2 weeks. It could happen. But too many people are too naive, yet my "services" are the first to go as people can write it off so easily. I can wait in hope for some support I guess. Otherwise, I will just have to hope that the landlady will show some mercy. I should be fine to cover the bills at least. If she is half compassionate, she will allow that for a couple of months and just not have her usual profit.

 

You have the family situation covered for sure. But I just need to let that be - there is too much going on. I do what I can and it just falls away at the sides. I give in for now. I need to look after myself and those that need and appreciate the support - and that is why we have the forum!! God Bless this wonderful site!!

 

Take care brother, and I too am here for you. I feel what you feel. I think everyday will be something different for a while. But there is an end to this tunnel as you say. Let's hold each other up and keep on going...

 

Love you so much man

 

God Bless

[LDN]

Hey brother! Sorry my head is a bit funny tonight I hope it is ok if I properly fill you in tomorrow! I had some messages on instagram which took longer than I thought and then had an email from a friend! Suddenly got a massive headache! 

 

Everything is very blurry right now! 

 

And these Rooks!! They never never never shut up!!!! LOL!!! But come on guys give me a break!!! All day there are making the garden their own!! Screaming their lungs out 24/7!!! London is much more restful than this LOL!!! Driving me mental!!! Right now I can hear them!! At 4:44 am!! And I didn't know they could attack humans - thanks for that image man!! LOL!!! They are definitely quite scary!!! Because of the lack of leaves I can see all their nests!!! Loads of them! 

 

I visited my cats grave today in the garden! Was strange to be honest! I had this urge to dig up the soil and hold her body and pray for it to come back to life!! I just wanted to see her black coat again! I realised last night this the first time I have ever been in this house without her! Since she came with the house!! I am so happy she is in heaven and free from her ageing shell but the idea of her body just being the garden I find really weird! Our friends made a little cross and put some flowers. The cross says RIP CHIN CHIN! 

 

I think the thing is I am in withdrawal number 1. Then I have to be in the house for the first time ever without Chin Chin number two - which I think subconsciously is very straining. Then there is the cv stuff number 3. Plus the instagram stuff which is so so draining and takes up so much time and my phone not working. So all in all I just feel overwhelmed. 

 

Also I have been in withdrawal I think over 9 weeks in London right, so then right for the last bit to leave, is so destabalizing! 

 

I do feel a little in a dream right now. Which I guess is true really?? But it feels a hazzey blurry dream!

 

I definitely think tomorrow or Tuesday or Wednesday some measures should come in for the self employed. Like in America they introduced a rent freeze. Along with some form of UBI. I think we will see similar. The pressure will be too much for them to resist. Also they are meant to support business owners right? For their own image they have to do something! But also you have a good relationship with your landlady right? So hopefully she wouldn't be a problem anyway! 

 

There is definitely an end to the tunnel brother! So sorry for all this! You are being so brave!! But every day that passes is a day closer to heaven!! We will come through this!!

 

I will be praying for you!!

 

Love you so much brother!

 

God Bless!

[LDN]

Bonjour Gail! Thank you for your words my love! They mean a lot! And it is true everything you say!

 

As you can see too Scrat the Rooks are EVERYWHERE!!!!!!! Oh lalala!! I have headache! A big one! 

 

You are doing great with your acceptance my love! BRAVO!! 

 

I am praying for you my love! I will go the chapel to pray! Do you remember the chapel?

 

Love you so much my Princess of Canada!!! 

[gail]

London,

Yes, I remember the chapel. It took a few seconds to remember though. So sad for the rooks that can drive you nuts, and the fact they chose your garden go make their nest....does not help.You'll get used to it my love. You are young and have more tolerance than we do!

Are you going out to the fields? God moments are awaiting. As Scrat says, the worst part is that you don't know when it will end. Let's join in prayers today and plead with God that the virus is of short duration. It has no specific route to follow, random. Am I right? Scrat?

We are near the USA, THEM with 35,070 cases and Canada with 1,470 cases. No new cases since yesterday. Same for UK, no new cases. 5,683 cases.

As for the rooks, put on a helmet so they don't attack you.

My thoughts are with you my love, you will soon find yourself in a good state. Nothing lasts.

With all my love to my Prince, thank God For Scrat and you, I would be lonely.

Don't forget to join in prayers for this to end soon. Your princess of Canada!

[gail]

Sweet Scrat,

A few questions for you. Who decided for your dad? When you work on cars, do you wear a mask? And what do you mean when saying that the UK are down 40%? No new cases here and same for UK since yesterday?

As for the self employed workers, I read that something will be done for you all. Check the internet for this matter.

As for my friend that is 80 years old, he doesn't show it. But he just began to realize the extent of the situation, thank God! Some are slower then others, he's the guy that's invincible, well, no more my friend.

We can no longer pay with money, it needs to be a credit call. I don't understand this at all. And you Scrat, you understand?

Again, back to internet. Let's plead with God to stop that madness.so that I can have that tumor removed. Need to watch myself so not to focus on that. God is helping me greatly.

I would like to write in Gail's corner, but I keep repeating myself. Maybe you and London could give it a try? Waiting for inspiration. With love and lovage to you and your wife.

[Polly38]

Hi IUN

Here is a link to an article for info on the self-employed. I was watching Martin Lewis on TV this morning and he is certain something will be announced by the Government within the next few days🙏🤞


https://www.dailymai...rticle-masthead

[Lovey]

Hi friends,

I am alive:)

Thinking of you all throughout my day. Praying we can see ourselves as God does. I struggle with self criticism and working on self love and acceptance instead!!

I went for a long 45 minute walk yesterday around my neighborhood and today a 30 minute walk. Forced myself out the door. Need the movement and physical exercise for sure.

L

[invalidusername]

Hi IUN

Here is a link to an article for info on the self-employed. I was watching Martin Lewis on TV this morning and he is certain something will be announced by the Government within the next few days


https://www.dailymai...rticle-masthead

 

Thanks Pol - I found that yesterday, but it doesn't look set to cover the little people like me. This is where the government will have ordered industries to shut that will be part of society, forget people like me that performing other services. I'm going to be 3 weeks with no income whatsoever. How are people meant to buy food for goodness sake? They are saying they will defer mid-yearly tax payments for 6 months - woopdie-f**king-dooo. What use is that?! 

 

The government have emergency funds like this. My work requires seeing other people and travelling - I am now banned from doing that. I have no means of income - period. 

 

What to do?! Boris had better come up with something. He won't be saving lives if people cannot damn well eat!!

[invalidusername]

Well done Lovey - it sure is difficult, but a serious well done from me.

 

Getting yourself out is difficult in making that first step, but just keep doing it as best you can and eventually it becomes easier. 

 

Starting tomorrow, come rain, sun, snow - don't care - I am going out for a walk for at least an hour. I think we are allowed that. Sure we are locked down, but we are permitted "one form of exercise per day". Technically, that could be a 10 mile walk!!!

[invalidusername]

Gailage,

 

Well, as I have mentioned in a few posts already, the UK are locked down now for 21 days. Only one walk per day allowed. No visits to friends or family. Shopping must be done online, but visit to grocery store if you must. I'm going to go crazy. Mrs Scrat is in tears and screaming. She cannot take any more. This will not help me to be at home 24/7 with her!! I know this is not nice to say, but I need my space...

 

Unfortunately, there were more cases in the UK. We had a better day yesterday, but another bad day today. But at least Italy is looking like it is starting end their nightmare. I think the US will have the biggest problem. We are a very small island and the police and army will be outside everywhere stopping people being outside. I am sure now that we will finish with this virus in 21 days. 

 

Sure I will be crazy, but it is better to start this now that wait until it is too late - then it would be more time 30 days, 60 days, 90 days?! Who knows. We only have 6000 cases. This is not many. This can be stopped.

 

My sister decided for my Dad and my Mom just let them decide. And I have protective clothing for working on the car for ears, eyes and skin - it is very important. I have lost 25% of hearing in my right ear because I didn't use protection for my ears when I built a car some years ago.

 

When I said 40% down, this was because saturday there were 1000 new cv cases and then Sunday was only 600 - so 40% less, but today we are back to 900. I don't think it will get much worse than this now.

 

And credit call? No I do not understand this? Is this that you have a card or something that you must add money to?

 

If I have time, I will write some Gail's corner later, if not, tomorrow. I will be at home all day so there will be time!!

 

Much lovage - keep Canada healthy - you guys are doing just fine!!

 

Your Scrattage

[invalidusername]

Hey brother....

 

I guess you have heard the update about the lockdown. I know I have been saying that I am worried about my anxiety, but I think it will be ok now knowing that the lockdown has happened. We can start counting down the days knowing that it will have done what it is needed to do. I have every confidence that 3 weeks will be enough. Italy was far worse off and they have started to turn around in 2 weeks of lockdown. 

 

Money - that is a different matter. Three weeks of not being able to earn a single penny. That is worrying. I have read everything that is being said about helping the self-employed and it doesn't look like I will have much in the way of hope. It is so wrong. They are talking about covering people's wages from mainstream employment - how on earth am I any different? My income isn't even guaranteed. At least emplyed workers get £xxxx a month and they can rely on it. They will go back to work after these 3 weeks, mine will need to build back up again. This is a worry for me.

 

I was out for three hours visiting clients today and felt so much better doing so, but then got home and was talking to my neighbour and helping her fix her laptop so she could connect to her office. Then the news came on about the lock down, so we decided to get to Tesco quickly because you know that everyone will be panic buying for the next few days. I wanted to get enough food to cover a week by which time it will have settled down. But then we heard that the shops were closing early at 10pm, so I drove my neighbour and did shopping. The shop was so crowded - everyone had the same idea, and then it occurred to me as I felt light headed that I had not eaten since breakfast, and there I was doing this massive shop, sweating and worrying. I got all my stuff done fairly quick, but then I had to wait for my neighbour who was taking ages. I cannot believe my anxiety held out.

 

Sorry - that is my stuff caught up! Onto you - my dear brother. 

 

I cannot even bare to imagine these rooks - that would drive me crazy - how do you cope? The noise they make is the sort of "nails down a chalkboard" type thing. It is horrible to hear. Can you not move elsewhere in the house to escape the nests? Sorry to mention that they attack humans! I am sure you will be fine thou man. I'm sure Chinchin is looking down on you and wishing she could be there to chase them away for you!!

 

What you said about your cat's grave... hmmm. I know you are aware it is just an empty shell - you need to stick to that. It brings that very moving part from Wuthering Heights to mind when Heathcliffe visits Cathy's grave. Don't know if you are familiar - also reminds me of that wonderful poem by Elizabeth Frye - will dig that out in a minute. But just like Heathcliffe, I understand where you are with this. You are still human here and it was your connection to dear chinchin.

 

So how has today been? What is your take on the lockdown? How are your parents, B and the rest of the family? Been thinking of you all down there. I am quite jealous to be honest. Again, I would give anything to be with you guys right now. Your family has such a tight bond. You would be the perfect cure for the next three weeks! But at least you have a time limit on this now - I am quite sure it will be more or less sorted after these three weeks.

 

Looking forward to hearing your news.

 

Much love brother -stay healthy

 

God Bless

[invalidusername]

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.

 

RIP ChinChin

[Lovey]

Iun you're doing great. one day at a time.
Tell me what is the ptompt so to speak for Gail's corner? I would like to give it a try if I may?

[invalidusername]

Iun you're doing great. one day at a time.
Tell me what is the ptompt so to speak for Gail's corner? I would like to give it a try if I may?

 

For sure! That would be lovely.

 

Gail's corner is primarily reserved for writings relating to the Summerland, or Heaven - whatever you would like to call it. Dreams, recalls of meditations, visions, beliefs, past life... all of the above! It is a post to dwell on the wonders that await us when we return Home. Can also be quotes from books, poems, scripture, personal stories. 

 

Gail, LDN and I frequently feel a little Home sick and have a longing to recall our lives there... to take moments out of our earthly shells here and travel to the Summerland for a point in the day with these Gail's corners.

 

Hope that explains it - but they are by no means limited to just LDN, Gail and myself!!

 

Will look forward to your input!!

 

Lovage!!!