2348 replies to this topic

[invalidusername]

Gailage,

 

My wife was very touched by your words. She is shocked that someone so far away that she carely knows can be so kind and loving. She is from eastern Europe, so they have never known this sort of affection. but she sends her love to you and asks me to tell you that she knows what you feel being so weak. She has so many days that she is too ill... as well as despressed. I feel the odd one out as the only one that has JUST kept going... but I do feel as though I will collapse soon

 

Oh, and you for sure cannot swim in that river!!

 

I am going to read your corner later before I sleep because it will help me relax. It will give me something to look forward to after such a busy day...

 

Much lovage and prayers my sweet

 

Scrat

[invalidusername]

Lovey,

 

Today has been worse than all other days this week. The people responsible for some of my systems had a massive cock up and erased a load of work that I did without a back up. I have spent 10 straight hours from 12noon to 10pm today rectifying it so the client doesn't find out in the morning. Angry doesn't even come close. I am considering a small claims to get the money back for those 10 hours - not for the work, but for my sanity! I wanted to walk, wash the car, spend time with the wife, eat lots and rest. But no, it was green tea and cereal for that entire 10 hours until I finished....

 

Thank you for your continued throughts, prayers and messages of encouragement.

 

IUN

[Lovey]

IUN, what a nightmarish thing!!! Please take deep deep oxygen rich breaths. Got to get your cortisol levels down, I would guess they are spiking highly about now! Take a long hot shower maybe? That helps me. And eat a cheeseburger! You've earned it!!

[invalidusername]

Hey brother...

 

As you might have seen from the above messages, I am in a bad way myself now!! But more of that in a minute.... let's get back to you and the wonder that was your day. Awesome that you managed the TV and the company of your family, and then the walk! Fantastic. That shows you that you are still more than capable. I had to tell Gailage about the river - I know that some people swim in the Thames, but they have to be more mentally ill than us surely

 

I knew your tools of anxiety wouldn't let you down. Naturally the weakness will increase it, but you have dealt with so much already, and you know when enough is enough. I am glad that I could be thought of during your walk and be of support. 

 

I also knew you would understand the other bits I wrote, you never forget it. 

 

Also read your message to Mrs Scrat and much like Gail's message, she was so touched that you guys are sending her your wishes of hope. She sends her love to you and her thanks for so much support. She doesn't get it anywhere else!! And a thanks from me too. So kind of everyone here to acknowledge her problems.

 

So my day was very bad unfortunately. Stress beyond measure. 10 hours of re-coding an entire system that was someone else's fault. I kept getting those electric shocks through my whole body when the thought that I could not stop came to me. I just thought that any minute I was going to loose my mind. I only finished at 10pm so I think I might have to take tomorrow off. It is not good what happened. As I said above, I might consider slamming them for what they did, but not just yet. 

 

Right, so as not to end on a negative... I managed to get it all done. A solution for the car has been found that will only cost about £5 and do the same job! So there is plenty to me thankful for, but by far is that which I have received from God in carrying me these last few days. There is no way I could have done today without some intervention from above. That is truly amazing. I feel like someone with two broken legs who has just run a marathon!!!

 

Much love to you brother

 

God Bless

[invalidusername]

IUN, what a nightmarish thing!!! Please take deep deep oxygen rich breaths. Got to get your cortisol levels down, I would guess they are spiking highly about now! Take a long hot shower maybe? That helps me. And eat a cheeseburger! You've earned it!!

 

LOL - will implement all but the cheeseburger - am a veggie!!!

[Lovey]

Ohhhhh gosh yeah, then no cheeseburger! Pizza maybe lol!!

[LDN]

Hey brother! Feel a bit worn out and knackered tonight! Getting bad coronavirus anxiety, it is really affecting me. Since I am vulnerable, it would be worrying. Every time I see the news I just get massive anxiety. What is going on in Italy is very stressful to see. I really could have done without this to be honest. Plus remember I have a history of severe OCD, so i have to be very very careful to not let that sneak in again. Plus my some of my supplements are out of stock because people are stock buying I guess. So I that is really stressful. Trying to find alternate suppliers but I really haven't the energy or time for that!!! So it is a stressful time. I mean it has been one thing after another these last few weeks! 

 

So sorry for your day! So sorry to hear about that! I can just feel the stress reading it! I know it's not exactly the same but the suppliers being out of stock has really thrown me to be honest. Anyway it sounds like you handled yourself brilliantly as usual!! Bravo! 

 

I was ok today, apart from the supplier stress. Was out in the mud garden for 1 hour 5 minutes, so that was pleasing! Forgot all about the supply out there!! 

 

I am often thinking of your wife and feel a real great empathy, especially since I have been through such a similar situation! She nothing but my complete respect for having to face this!! 

 

Again huge congrats for getting through the day!! I will be praying my brother!! 

 

I love you! 

 

God Bless!

[LDN]

Also IUN definitely forces from above our with us!! 100%!!! Thank you for bringing this up!!! 

[LDN]

Gail what wonderful words! I had tears in my eyes reading you! Oh wow! I was blown away!! Just stunning! 

 

Your Gail Corner posts are always one of the most amazing things I ever read! I would dream of a book of your writing!! But thank you God for Gail's words, incredible!! 

 

Your words touch like I have hardly ever felt - you are just amazing!! And yes you are a Saint!!! To me you are Saint Gail!!! 

 

Oh my love that river is more than just muddy LOL!!! It makes my garden look like paradise LOL!!!! It is very very dirty! But it is still so lovely to walk by it! I love the water, even if it is dirty LOL!!! I still love being by the water! To me it gives me calmness and peace! I love it! I just stand and stare and then slowly walk along the path next to it for a while, then I turn home! It is my favourite walk! There bridges and they light them up at dark, it is beautiful the light reflected on the water!! Magical!! 

 

I felt good by the river, my anxiety was good! I just love to face fears! If I have the energy, it is a passion for me now! I feel so free, when I realise I can do so much more than depression and anxiety make me think! I feel so beautiful! Like flying, I feel free as a bird, when I do something that scares me so much!! It took me years and years to get here but finally I found a way out of my house!!! 

 

35 to 48 oh la la!!! Spring is coming my love - YEAH!!!! Exciting for you my love! 

 

Also my love for years I have the racing mind! Oh I hate it! It is so horrible! It is a bit better now but still can be bad! It have had it so so bad!! So we are in this together!! You are not alone in that! 

 

Now for Gail Corner!! I love this technique you mentioned of thinking of things we won't need in heaven!! Oh that was beautiful to read!! Imagine, just to think of it makes me so happy! When you wrote 'just pure love surrounded by beauty' - this is exactly how I imagine it!!! This is just my idea!!! Just imagine that!!! I think your word 'liberated' is perfect! WE WILL BE FREE!!!!! 

 

I like how you saw how superficial so much of this world is! I felt the same since I got ill! I learned to value the really important things! The things of the soul! My physical appearance got much worse but who cares when my soul was getting richer? I prefer a good looking soul LOL!!! My prayers, my meditation, my mud garden, my family, this forum - these are the things I love in my life! None of them are superficial and they all help my soul grow!! Watering my seeds in my soul!!! 

 

Thank you for talking of Frere Andre! Mother Teresa herself had many many doubts over her faith at times and got depression I believe! We are all human!! We have to just try our best! 

 

For a miracle I would pick same as you!! Love that one! But for a different one I would then say I want everybody in the world to feel love! That would be a dream for me!! To feel pure love - everyone!! 

 

I love you my Princess!! 

 

I will be praying and God bless you my hero!!

[LDN]

Lovey sending my prayers and love to you!! 

[Lovey]

Our Ego: the saboteur of us and our relationships

Listen:
https://www.stitcher...t/loari-edison-
2/dating-authentically-the-power-of-you/e/67532270

This is a podcast episode that helped me so much. Talks about having trouble not loving yourself unless you are perfect, and how to have more compassion for yourself.

It is within a series about dating but it is 100 percent applicable to all, regardless of dating or not. This entire series is chocked full of audio gold. She is a Christian and a wonderful intelligent and compassionate woman.

[gail]

London, when you're in full anxiety mode, don't you need to let it pass to jump off an airplane? Eg going to the mud river. Or can you act in full more anxiety? Interesting question for me. I, for myself, need to let it pass before acting. Loved your post and admire the courage!
Wouldn't it be best not to watch the news? With the OCD OF THE past, aren't you afraid to wAke it up? Love you Prince.

Lovey, I'm repeating myself, it's such a blessing to have you with us. Thank you for reminding to take deep breath to lower the cortisol. Where are you at with the tapering? And thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Aren't we a nice cost group. Plus all believers.

ScrAt, veggie burgers exist. Is Mrs Scrat also a veggie. I just hope that all that work on Sunday won't bring you down. I'm pleased to say that Mrs Scrat words touched me. Takes one to know one. She's from the East, where from? Did she leave in the middle of the war?
And when you met her, was she as sick a she is today? How many years has she been here? Curious Gail.
I feel for her, when she takes the K, does she feel better? Tell her, if it's any consolation that I have had 5 good days since beginning February. That's a long and hard phase.

Mrs Scrat, let's make a deal, we will pray for each other daily for courage, strength and guidance. We need this, I care for you as I can relate with your symptoms. Do you cry a lot like me? London made me see that it's ok to feel self pity, WE ARE HUMAN.
So many questions to know you better my sweet, I love you.

[Lovey]

Good news report:

Pause button on my taper still on. I'm at 18 beads/2x a day. Once sunny days and warmth and spring arrives, my mood will be much better and hopefully i can approach the subject again.

I bought seeds to plant a garden this year. I am very excited!!
Lettuce, sweet potatoes, broccoli,carrots, onion, garlic and flower seeds for the pots in the front yard. Very happy!

I had artwork accepted into a group show today:)
And, my stepdad gave me a huge flatscreen t.v.

Its cold and rainy. I am about 75 percent well.

[Mxpro32]

You sound much better. That's great news. I just built a little raised vegetable planter. My 4 year old daughter helped me every bit of the way. She's so excited to plant them and watch them grow.

[invalidusername]

Gailage,

 

Your message bought me a lot of peace. I have had such a terrible couple of days and this reminded me that this life is not worth getting stressed over. And I am doing just that. I forget about all the other things that I should be looking at and feeling happy about.

 

From what I am aware, we can change clothes and our appearance as we like in the Summerland. We recognise each other by our souls, not what we look like or what we are wearing. We are energy, not flesh and bone, so it is nothing like what we are down here. 

 

Swimming is perfectly possible, but the strange thing is we dont get wet! We feel the water and love it, but when we get out, the water just runs off us because we are not a physical body. 

 

I really love your messages - please keep them coming and keep me sane!!

 

Much lovage

[invalidusername]

Hey brother,

 

A lot of stress this end. The company responsible for keeping all my systems online has really gone downhill and I have had clients on the phone all day. I really can't take it any more. I need to switch suppliers of the service, but there is so much work to do. I have clients so angry and there is nothing that my supplier will do - they clearly have a problem - it might even be related to corona virus. 

 

I can understand that you are getting anxiety about it. There is news and statistics all over the news - you can't get away from it. Italy for sure. It is shocking. 

 

Sorry for not writing much, but I am so exhausted. I had about 4 hours sleep, not due to noise or anything like that, but because I have had to work to minimise the problems I knew I would get from clients today. 

 

I am very scared about what is going to happen and how much more work I have got to put in. I just need to take one step at a time. But it is so tough...

 

Sometimes I wish I could just forget it all and come to visit you as you are one of so few, that understand. I don't need support as no-one else can do anything to help, just love and understanding...

 

Hopefully better news tomorrow

 

Much love

 

God Bless

[LDN]

Hey brother so sorry to hear about all your news! What a life! You sound like you are being so brave! Wish I could do more to help! But make no mistake, as always I am here for you brother!! I will keep praying! 

 

I really feel for you so much, it hurt to read! Just try and stay as calm as possible and remember you have to look after yourself 1st and foremost! Keep those deep breathes and as I say put your health first! If that means being a bit ruthless then so be it! You have to prioritise yourself first!! 

 

If you can I would also advice fitting in some meditation. I myself had nothing compared to you, but woke up and then spend the first hour or two searching every health site for one of my supplements, everywhere out of stock!! Finally I found a site that said 'AVAILABLE', they let me buy and everything. Then called up to confirm and they said it was 'AVAILABLE IN BACK LOG'. So they are selling it without even having it!!!! My stress went through the roof. This is was all in my rest time. When normally I am doing my walk at the front and then at the back! Still nothing compared to you brother! 

 

But I did get back out in the mud for 19 minutes and it did me the world of good!!!! It needed that!! 

 

As you say one step at a time!!!! Keep it simple as possible!!! 

 

I will be praying and I am always here for you!! 

 

So much love brother!!!

 

God Bless

[LDN]

Hello Gail!! 

 

For when anxiety used to make me need to shut down, now the opposite! I have worked really hard to make anxiety mean I am more adventurous! Now when I am anxious I think 'well I am anxious anyway so I can might as well do it, as I have nothing to lose!'. When I feel scared of something I like to face it, if I can. It took a long long time for this though!!! Years and years of stuck at home! 

 

But for depression I still just want to be alone, absolutely! Just rest. 

 

It is hard to not read the news because I see papers in the house and it my family is taking of it and it is everywhere when I go online! But my OCD is the most important thing and I am aware to not let it back! 

 

I hope you had a good day! 

 

Love you Princess!!! God Bless!

[Lovey]

Ldn, do you actually go in the mud? The microbes are supposed to be amazing for helping alleviate symptoms of dis-ease and depression. i would full on roll around in a mud bath or mud pit if i had one available. just for fun!

Iun breathe deep, and try to pace yourself. I hope you don't mind me trying to offer advice. It's because I sympathize and care so much!

It's hard for me to pace myself and remain calm when I am feeling under the gun and pressure but thats when God wants to help! I think He wants to be included in our lives in every way but we often want to do it all ourselves. I don't mean to project my shortfalls onto you. This "I can do it alone" (without God) attitude is an area of growth opportunity for ME, and many others (pride) I'm not saying it is an issue for you...

I was just thinking that when its super stressful, maybe God is asking to be remembered? And leaned on and depended on. So hard but what else is there?

May God give us all peace and loveliness and graciousness and understanding. Hearts, stars and rainbows! Good night!

[gail]

Scrat (IUN), it sounds as though you have already visited the Summerland. Not wet? I want to get wet. But with no body, just energy, at least I can enjoy the water. All speculations of our part as we never been there. But it's nice to speculate.

BTW, river Thames, according to internet is the cleanest riverl in the world. 250 miles long and it's beautiful. you need permission to swim in it as it is dangerous.50 years ago, it was the dirtiest. Check this out.

I'm glad that Gail's corner makes you feel better. And the supplier must get his supplies from China, nothing gets out of China because of Corona virus. You may need to check other countries like Canada. We are not touched yet by Corona except 2-3 people. Lucky us.
For now!!! Breathe deep as Lovey reminds us to. You are not responsible for what is happening, let your clients know that, and be free of guilt. Mucho lovage. Saluting Mrs Scrat, remind her of our deal!

[gail]

Dear Lovey,

That was a beautiful day to gather everything ready for your garden. It keeps the spirit up!

Bravo for your artwork, what is it that you make?

Serious about mud baths? London, make place, we are all going to your place for a mud bath. Knowing it would alleviate the depression, I'm willing. There's been so much praying in this mud garden, it sure would help us all. Not nude, in a bathing suit. We'll stay 2 days, and afterwards, we'll be flying all over the place.lol love

PS I so loved and appreciated your post, I thank you!

[gail]

London(ldn) just amazing what you've learned through your seven years of suffering. A man with so much wisdom and love. Again, I admire you. Don't forget that you're not doing this alone, God is with you, we tend to forget this.

I understand your anxiety about your supplements, could Scrat help you here. He gets his, he could get yours probably. I will pm you later concerning this. Sweet Corona, what have you done? Making Scrat and London suffer because of you little pest, no, huge pest. Love you!

[gail]

Hello and Welcome MXPRO,

Lovey is doing just great with a bit of lows. I know that you've been suffering from withdrawal, keep hope. Just starting a small garden with the help of your daughter,is a positive gesture. Look at Lovey, she's come from a long patch of #\@$%\.

You will get better too with time and patience. For sure. Love! Stay with us!

[invalidusername]

Hey dear brother...

 

Sorry my message was a toughie, but be prepared... I pulled an all-nighter... I have been awake for 37 hours straight now. As well as sorting all this mess out still, I had therapy, 4 clients and a 25 minute shopping trip. When I came back home briefly between visits. I got out my car and started walking to the flat and my neighbour shouted "Hey... are you going back to your car?"... "No, why do you ask?"..."You've left your door wide open!".

 

Utterly crazy. I just open the car door and forget to shut it. My brain just cannot take it, but it does appear that I have caught up with everything. I bought a really nice veggie pie and some fresh veg and gravy for dinner tonight. After I am caught up on the forum, I am going to chow down on this over a movie and probably wake up to the end credits with gravy on my face

 

Stress is relative though brother. You say it is not as much as mine, but to you, this is very stressful. Remember, I run two companies and have done for 15 years. I have been through a lot. These supplements are your health, which as you rightly said, is first and foremost. 

 

However, you are right about the meditation and last night I did take some special K and it got me to a point where I just zoned out for a while. I knew I couldn't sleep but I did take some time out. My therapist was awesome this morning. She could see the state I was in and was just so loving and caring and we had an "easy" session, but I still felt the benefit. Honestly man, I could stay in her private room all day. I feel so safe. I am so lucky to have found her.

 

So any more mud today?! LOL. Is there nothing I can do for this supplement? Can you say what it is?

 

Prayers from everyone here have clearly worked as there is no way I could have maintained myself thought the last few days. Thanks to all, to God and to all in the Summerland looking over me....

 

Love to all.

 

God Bless

[invalidusername]

Lovey!!

 

I have this picture of you rolling around in the mud!! It is really funny!! Gardens in London where LDN lives is prime real estate, so you are lucky to even get a small patch of grass, so given the amount of walking he does on it, coupled with the rain we have had, it is not surprising it has all turned to mud!

 

I really appreciate your advice, make no mistake. I often forget how good breathing can be to remain calm and it takes people like you to say it and I will remember.

 

Interesting theory about God trying to seek intervention when we are stressed, but I can feel His help all around. Even though it is tough, I feel that it could be SO much worse.

 

Thanks again butter bean...

 

IUN

[invalidusername]

Gailage!!!

 

So mud bath party at Lovey's!! Bit worried that Hat might be wearig his mankini again though!

 

The whole corona virus thing is taking the UK by storm. People are panic buying anti-bacterial everything, and some are even stocking up on food like we are expecting a nuclear holocaust. It is crazy. LDN is feeling it because it is all you see in the newspapers, on radio and TV. All the news we have here in the UK is bad. Back in the 80's it was some farmer made a new breed of super fluffy sheep or something, but no... not today. News is never happy...

 

Of course I have been to the Summerland, many times between lives here on earth. You still get wet and feel the water, but not like we do here where you get out the water and feel cold. Our energy mixes with the waters energy and embraces it. From what I understand, a jacuzzi type thing is the closest we have down here to feeling this energy.

 

I can't believe that the Thames is one of the cleanest rivers!! But the Internet sure does say that! Amazing.

 

Mrs Scrat sends her love again and is encouraged still by the love of the forum!!

 

Much lovage my sweet

[LDN]

Lovey I found your post really really resonated with me!! When I at the absolute bottom I totally give myself to God, without question. At the end of my prayers I always say 'I let go and surrender to you completely God! Do anything with me you want. I am yours'. When I am the bottom I find it easy to say this. But when things are going well I actually feel kind of uncomfortable saying it!! It is clear my ego gets in the way! I am sort thinking 'hey thinks are going well, I am in control' and I feel uncomfortable with completely surrendering myself to God. So what you wrote just really hit me deep. 

 

I mean when things are going well and we have success, it is very easy to forget how much God helped us and sort think 'aren't I great'. Like I am the boss. But when we hit hard times we run to God for his help!! So think there is definitely something in suffering creating a closer union with God and also bringing some humility to us. We are nothing without God, and suffering shows us this. A lot of the saints really really suffered, and this helped really helped them getting closer to God. 

 

So I think in tough times it almost God wanting a closer union with us, like you say wanting to be remembered! 

 

I bet statistically people spend much more time in prayer when times are tough than when times are good? And that kind makes you think!! It shouldn't be like that, but at least from suffering we can learn to be thankful in those good times when they come back! 

 

This is all my personal experience really though, so sorry for the ramble! But you mentioned such an interesting idea!! 

 

Also my garden is just a normal garden but most of grass is gone and it is just very muddy! Mud bath sounds fun!!! 

 

Lots of love and god bless you!!

[LDN]

Hey brother - an all nighter!!!!! What!!!! That is insane!!! Unreal!!! That really shows how far you have come! Couldn't really believe what I was reading!! Obviously you would have preferred not to have done that but at least it shows what you are capable of!!! You really are doing amazingly well!!! Just beautiful to see!!! So so so proud of you!!! Your bravery and courage is extraordinary!! 

 

A bit snowed under with coronavirus anxiety to be honest. The government health minister has got it!!! Imagine how the NHS will cope with this? I may potentially be moving down to the country, but it might be too late for that. So lots of upheaval which is just the last thing I needed when I am in withdrawal. Obviously I am more vulnerable as well, since I am ill. 

 

I feel really really weak, I am sure it is psychosomatic or withdrawal related but I can't help thinking I got it. My brother and sister are stressing about it. My sister has a bad cold. It is honestly getting crazy, war time like conditions. I only do not have the energy to pack up everything but we will see what happens. 

 

So my doctor recommended another supplement, so it is ok, but everybody is stockpiling supplements.

 

Ok I feel really not good, so will have to go brother! Plus got therapy tomorrow as well. I am sure this is withdrawal related, but you can't help but worry with the news as it is! 

 

So so proud brother! 

 

Love you brother! 

 

God Bless!

[LDN]

Wow Gail thanks for your interesting research but the bit of the River Thames that is in London where I go to is not clean LOL!!!! Piles and piles of rubbish! IUN will know what I am talking about!!! Oh my word it is pure filth LOL!! 

 

It must be the bits of the Thames outside of London that are clean!!! 

 

But my garden is ready for whenever you are for the mud bath LOL!!! Then we can go fly - YEAH!!! 

 

It is so true, we are not alone, God is with us as you say!!

 

So much love you to you my love!! 

 

My hero and inspiration as always!!

 

God Bless!

[gail]

Hello Scrat,

You made me laugh, as though you remember it all! In details, wow! I have so many questions about God, I will have answers when I get there. God and I will have a long question period!

You seem in such good humor, like a new man! I love it!

I didn't know about the gravity of Corona in the UK. I don't watch the news, just bribes here and there. I read a bit, small bits of news paper, just bad news, ugliness! But since my two friends live in the UK, I'll be more interested. I'm in shock to learn this, in the province of Quebec, we may have three or five cases.

May God bless you, lots of lovage!

Mrs Scrat is on my mind and in my prayers.