2348 replies to this topic

[gail]

I love it when you speak of Summerland. I'm so ready to shed my shell and discover wings underneath.
The two last days have been hard on my breathing, water in the lungs. Ten days ago I went to have it removed. He didn't see why even though I had the same amount of water.
I could beat myself for not having lied to his questions. Lesson learned.

Please God give me your strength! Thank you!

[fishinghat]

LDN

"My weighing machine I bought didn't seem to work last night. It showed my 25mg tablet as 0.13g! I will have to sent it back. But I have a decent idea of the dose. I have 3/4s of the tablet and then the last 1/4 is halved, so it is about 1/8."

That is about right.

25 mg equals 0.025grams so I think it is OK

Hint: 1 gram equals 1000 mg.

[gail]

Update: took my courage and called the office, next appointment next Tuesday, I told her I wouldn't make it till there. Sorry she said. Phone call ten minutes later for me to come in right away. I said yes. Nervous, anxious, alone, taxi to and from. They removed l liter and one third. It was high time. Now, they'll make sure to remove the water every four to six weeks.

The worst day in my life. Alone, that was the worst. I find myself brave to have done that. I was so crying all beginning of morning and when I came back.

When they remove the water, there is no pain. When I was leaving, I heard the nurse say, did the doctor say it was ok to leave. He had, but I ran out of there before she could call me.

As I said, worst day and I have a lot of that, but this one is to be forgotten. And, if I need lies, there will be lies.

Hello London, I didn't have time to write, now you understand why. I love you my Prince xxxx

[invalidusername]

I love it when you speak of Summerland. I'm so ready to shed my shell and discover wings underneath.
The two last days have been hard on my breathing, water in the lungs. Ten days ago I went to have it removed. He didn't see why even though I had the same amount of water.
I could beat myself for not having lied to his questions. Lesson learned.

Please God give me your strength! Thank you!

 

Absolutely - Lord give our Gailage the strength to hold through these times.

 

I have noted that you like to read of the Summerland and I will remember this! I also love speaking about it... so works both ways my love...

 

[edit], I didn't see the second message as we wrote at the same time, but wow... what a brave soul you are. ruly amazing to have gone through this. For sure, forget it as you need. But never forget the courage you have and inspire others with. I will never forget the things that you have done. They have.. and will.. help me through some of my own tough times.

[fishinghat]

You are a lesson in awesomeness Gail. My respect and love pours out to you.

[invalidusername]

Hey brother...

 

Been another stressful one for me today. Not depression or anxiety, just so much stress. I didn't mention anything as before when we have both had such things, we choose not to say for the pressure. But I had a massive business meeting which could have potentially resulting in a very well paid project. I wasn't nervous, it was just the stress that it could cause. All I was thinking was.. what am I doing taking on this work, I will never get it done, it will be too much stress. I was in such a state from the moment I woke up, but somehow I found it deep within me to just go ahead. I secured the job and all was well. No-one would have been any the wiser that I was a wreck inside. Two hours of meeting and that was all before breakfast - I just couldn't eat! Once it was over, I had an hour before anything else, so I took a valium and it chilled me out quite quickly - I didn't take one before as I was worried I would fall asleep having not eaten!

 

When the valium wore off, I could feel the stress coming back and I seem to be stuck in this state of needing to do something. An inability to relax. Too much adrenaline going on. This is where the meditation comes in. And darn it - the same thing happened with the book AGAIN last night. Eyes could not stay open! I really want to read this bloody book! I will try again this evening and see what happens.

 

I don't know if you can relate the stress I am feeling, but is is not at all anxiety. I had no problem being out, with people at the meeting, shopping - nothing at all. But I just feel as though something really bad is going to happen - like my brain is just going to give in and the next thing will be that I find myself in a straight-jacket in a padded cell, rocking back and forth in the corner. My brain will simply offline - that it cannot take anymore. It is sort of like this claustrophobic stuff we speak of, but not quite. I am sure more meditation is the answer and I really need to discipline myself, but after 3 weeks of really overdoing it, it isn't so easy to just switch it off.

 

But it was pretty bad today, and all I wanted to do was just lay in bed and do nothing. Ironically what was causing me problems three months ago, but I could happily do that. Just like I was saying "all I can do is play games on my phone"... what I would give for a day of that! It is so crazy how the tides change like that!! But I think this is me learning. I am getting back into the normal ways of life, but not having been there for over 2 years, I cannot remember where the limits are, so I am finding my feet all over again. I just need people to keep me in check - so PLEASE man, hammer this in to me. Whenever I say I have done anything more that 6-7 hours, tell it to me straight. I need to be told. I need to stick to this "normal" time scale, I cannot do more than the average person - even when all this stuff is behind me, otherwise I will go backwards again for sure.

 

I can completely agree with your issue with the p-doc - maybe he needs time to get to understand, but then again, he should be aware that there are these super-sensitive people out there. And going against the fear is fantastic. You know it is the way to go. I am sure that if it wasn't my stress being very present today, the big meeting today would have had fear - it was just the stress shadowing it. I remember thinking that I would never be able to do such a meeting ever again, so I would have done the same thing. I did get a buzz from doing it - and now knowing that I have the money secured.And yes, this is Clare Weekes' approach and it works perfectly. Very difficult, but an sure method. In fact, I want to send you a recording of hers for you to listen to. There is no music, just her voice.. and her voice is so wonderful - just like a p-doc should sound. You can hear the passion in her voice. I will send it over as soon as I have done this message.

 

Not quite sure on the Jung myself, but it is certainly something I need to at least give some time to. All in time.

 

GAIL'S CORNER: I want to add this to my messages for some Summerland activity for our Gailage. As she has said how much she enjoys us talking about it and how much we enjoy it - I thought I would add something little at the end. So for me today it is from the Helen Greaves book and the walk that she takes with her sibling. They walk up to the top of this beautiful green hill and look down across miles and miles of pasture seeing the few homes and cottages dotted around the landscape, how she describes the rivers and brooks that flow through the hills and how amazing the colours of it all are.

 

At the garden at the back of my home in the Summerland, I have a small river than runs all the way down from the mountains to the left, and this runs down through my garden and into a wide stream. Across from the stream are the main buildings in beautiful pearl and marble. The Halls of Music and various gardens where I choose to work. I don't have to get a boat or swim as I can thought-travel there, and even though the buildings are so bright to look at, it can never hurt our eyes as all we see is beauty wherever we look. How I long to be there....

 

Much love to you both brother and sister

 

God Bless 

[LDN]

GAIL - SENSATIONAL!! 

 

Your courage blows me away!! I am out of words for your bravery!!! Just extraordinary!! 

 

You are truly something SO SO SPECIAL!! 

 

It is an honour to know you! You inspire each and every day!!! You are my hero!!! 

 

SO MUCH JOY IS COMING FOR US! 

 

I am really moved by how brave you were today!! 

 

I will be praying! 

 

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY PRINCESS!!

[LDN]

Hi fishinghat - update for today. A bit of anxiety when I woke but otherwise fine rest of the day and no spaced out feeling. 

 

Also sorry for being slow but I am still confused by the weighing. If it should be 0.025g why does show 0.13g? Again really sorry for asking these stupid questions. 

 

Love and God Bless!

[LDN]

Hey brother! First things first SUPERB!! WOW!! I am so so proud of you man! You and Gail both smashing it out of the park today!! How lucky I am! What did I deserve to meet 2 such incredible people!! That is massive today for you! For you to say I never thought I would do meetings like that again but you did!! I understand that feeling myself and how good it feels! Your progress really is brilliant! Your bravery, perseverance, positivity is incredible!! I am so inspired by you brother! 

 

But as you say, you are doing so brilliant but you must look look after yourself! You must pace yourself. Keep it nice and steady. Give yourself plenty of time to take all these changes in. These exposures are emotionally draining and you need time to process them. You need some space and some re-charge battery time! I prayed for today saying I really hope you can get some good rest this weekend! 

 

I mentioned in the PM I have just written 2 very emotionally draining emails tonight, so I am mentally needing a bit of rest. So sorry for being a bit short tonight! 

 

Today I woke to anxiety, which considering the last two days I haven't I was bit surprised. But since then I have been fine. No spaced out feeling and anxiety mostly under control. Cutting the tablets can be slightly stressful to try and remember how it looks compared to the day before. Last night listened to some music which was nice. 

 

Also I had 49 minutes in the garden today! Magic! What I live for! Honestly so so good! Just in another world out there. All stress and worry is gone. Just fully in the moment. Just pure in the now. Feels so good! Just such good energy! Feel so safe and at peace with everything! Just still in the silence and darkness! Perfect! 

 

Thanks for the Claire Weekes stuff, I look forward to hearing that! And thanks for that beautiful passage you quoted! Such a beautiful picture! I have vision in my head of a field full of long grass in the summer and the sun shining on the grass. It just pops into my head from time to time. It is so wonderful an image! 

 

In terms of the stress it can relate very much to what you describe. It could well be a case of your body just crying out for a rest and some breathing space. Just some 'boring' time if you like. It has had so much to take in! So perhaps it's way of saying slow down a bit is manifesting itself in stress. 

 

Again so so proud of you brother!! Incredible! 

 

I will be praying! 

 

Love you so much! 

 

God Bless!

[gail]

London, your fifth paragraph sounds like the Summerland. You are blessed to be able to experience this while in your shell. I'm jealous, many many years ago, I was in your place living magical things. Love you.

Scrat, thank you for including Gail's corner. We need to be reminded of better times to come, after all, it's one of God's promises. No illness, no handicaps, pure hearts, I'm waiting also to see my family and my dog. And fly, my dream is to fly surrounded by birds and butterflies.

[fishinghat]

The extra weight is the fillers, binders etc.  Most of these tablets contain "ASCORBIC ACID, SODIUM SULFITE, SODIUM CHLORIDE and SODIUM METABISULFITE' but may that may vary depending on the brand.

[invalidusername]

Evening all...

 

This is going to be a short one - day has not been well. I woke up to some insane depression which strangely morphed into intense stress soon after. I was so worried about the three jobs I had left over for today and I just couldn't face anything. I've had this before with stress but not to this degree. I think the meeting yesterday pushed me beyond my breaking point. I just laid in bed convinced something awful was gong to happen and that I would have the "men in white coats" come to carry me away.

 

After some special K, a valium and some dramamine, it got me to a point where I was able to start functioning. I didn't know whether to attempt these jobs or just relax. If I relaxed I worried that I would still have the stress the next morning, so I very carefully did a little bit at a time and got them done. Felt better for it, then had lunch and a wave of exhaustion and flatness, and I ended up having a siesta.. just like you from about 8pm til now. I am still not with it at all. Very exhausted and don't want to do anything.

 

Gail's second paragraph perked me up a bit about the Summerland, and I have been thinking of this all day knowing where we are destined to go. 

 

So apart from these 3 hours that it took for the jobs, I have been rested - nothing else. Maybe looking at the phone once or twice, but that is all. I simply cannot do anything. So another mini burnout of sorts. Nothing to be done tomorrow however, so at least I will wake up knowing there is nothing that has to be done for those 24 hours.

 

Thank you for your words of encouragement, and yes, that meeting was a very big deal. It was just at the wrong time. Had it have been a week ago, it would have been easier, but just like you, I wanted to stare this in the face, whatever it meant for me. Just to show I could do something this big even thou I was in a really bad state. And as for Gail's day, well, that blew me away. Words just aren't enough.

 

Speaking of the Weekes' stuff, one of the jobs I had to do was for a new client and he opened up to me today when I saw him. After about 5 minutes he was saying he was very happy as he made it to do a small food shop which is very difficult for him because he suffers so badly from anxiety! Of course, I had no shame, and I told him all about my own struggles, so I directed him to the same download as I did for you! He was very happy.... but amazing how many people like that are out there.

 

Absolutely no problem for short message - never is - especially when mine will be similar...

 

GAIL'S CORNER - This one is another part of the Summerland which is to the far right of my garden... quite a way. These are the opposite lowlands to the purple mountains which are to the left. It is where this large river flows into a sparkling crystal sea. On the edge of the point where the sea starts is this lovely medical centre. It is a dome made up of coloured glass - purples, greens and blue. Colours that when mixed, we don't have here on earth. Inside it is a very happy place because people have come here from earth to return to their true spiritual state. Around the edges of the dome are different floors which look out to the green hills and the sea through the glass. As the glass can change colour, or disappear with your own thoughts, so you can be outside, but whilst still in the health centre. It is all open-planned, but there is no noise like you get in hospitals because people can speak by thought, but those that do speak it sounds like angels singing in very quiet hushed tones. It is a place of pure relaxation and a place to restore all health to reconnect with the energy of the Summerland. I have seen it is a dream and I just can't describe it well enough.

 

OK - I managed quite a good message there. Got a bit of energy from somewhere, but now need to rest.

 

Much much love...

 

God Bless

[LDN]

Hey fishinghat and IUN. Thanks for that explanation!! 

 

Today woke to anxiety again but the rest of the day fine. 

 

Love and God Bless!!

[LDN]

GAIL!!!

 

It was wonderful!! It was like a little holiday to heaven for sure!! I live for this!! I know you understand me!! When I am in it, I completely forget my shell. I feel beyond it! I pray you can feel this magic, like your days in the past my love!! 

 

Also remember in my ketamine trip we were flying holding hands? Interesting you dream to fly and in my trip we did this!!! Coincidence??? 

 

Birds, butterflies and PURE HEARTS ARE WAITING FOR US MY LOVE!!! 

 

The beauty to come is going to be so wonderful everything will be worth it!!! I am so excited for us!!! 

 

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!

[LDN]

Hey brother! Really sorry to hear about your day but proud of how you handled it!! So interesting one of your clients spoke up about his anxiety. Like you say these issues are so much more common than we think. But I'm really sorry you had to go through that. But again well done for your bravery and positive mentality! But I really hope you can get a proper rest in tomorrow!! Also maybe try and have as simple a week ahead as you can. Take things easy. It really important as much as you can to give yourself that mental space and peace. 

 

I will have to be short tonight because I have to get up early to watch some football with my brother. Feel very agitated tonight, so I need to go unwind. I hope you understand. Sorry for 2 days in a row. 

 

I woke to anxiety but it reduced pretty quickly. Had a short walk and then some time in the garden again. Then siesta. You joining me and gail in the siesta club!!! 

 

As I say really agitated right now, so need to unwind a bit before bed! Sorry brother! 

 

Also what a beautiful piece of writing about the Summerland again!! Thank you so much for sharing that!! That was incredible!! 

 

Always remember the big picture and where we are destined to go!!! 

 

Love you so much!

 

God Bless!

[gail]

Gail's corner

I woke up to the most enchanting view. Nothing on Earth to compare. I saw Jesus coming my way, we had a chat about what was to be. Then my family appeared from nowhere, with Katou of course.i was so happy.

I was surrounded by the ocean, the forest, the lakes and rivers. Nothing like here on Earth,

That would be my home for a while. So many questions to ask, Jesus said I wasn't ready for that, patience, he said. I had wings to fly wherever I wanted. I flew to the ocean, only to see that apart of the wings, I had no body. I enjoyed the ocean so much. I turned to see my little house that I would live till....

A man asked me if I wanted to come back to Earth, no, I don't. I've suffered so much, it's your choice my angel. Heaven must ressemble this.,.

[invalidusername]

Good evening both brother and sister...

 

Gail, you really timed that lovely message well. It was lovely to read as I have had such a touch day. And LDN, I am glad that your anxiety was short lived - I really hope there is more to come.

 

When I woke this morning, I was in a similar place again that I could barely move from the bed, but it was so much worse than before. I am guessing that the stress of the week finally had enough - the meeting on friday especially, and then the three hours yesterday - even though they were three hours, they were three hours too many. I was so exhausted. I woke around 1pm after just over 8 hours sleep, and although I wasn't tired, I was severely exhausted. Then about 3pm, I slept for about three hours. Then woke and managed some breakfast, then slept again for about 2 1/2 hours. Since then I have been awake and less exhausted, but anxiety has been terrible.

 

I am now worried that this will continue although I know underneath that it is just a byproduct of all the stress I have endured over the last three weeks. It worries me how long it is going to take to come out the other side - who will do the work, who will do the shopping? It is this responsibility that keeps it fed. It is such a viscous circle. I don't have the time to be ill for more than a day or two, otherwise life will come crashing down. There is no-one to look after me as the wife cannot do anything herself. This is what really drives it all at these points. All I can do is continue my meditation and prayer.

 

Although it was less stress today and more exhaustion which I hope will help. But I know it will only take the one phone call, or the one email with a client that has a problem and it will set me right off. I need a week where I know I will not be hassled. But this is not life. Again, this is what is driving the anxiety - what will I feel like tomorrow? I am very scared. 

 

I ask you all for your prayers as the week starts and I look for the strength to care for both myself and the wife...

 

Love you all very much

 

God Bless

[LDN]

Hey brother! So sorry to hear about your day. I can see things have caught up with you. Right now it is about not overthinking and taking one day at a time. Just deal with what is in front of you. I know it is tough but I know with time you can reduce your stress by reducing your worries over hypotheticals. As I say I know is so tough and it took me a long time, but I am a example it can be done and you will do it. We never know what tomorrow brings. It is out of our control. So by worrying over what might happen it doesn't change anything, except just feeding the anxiety and making you more stressed. You have to as much as possible focus on what you can control and do the best in that regard. You are doing amazingly at the moment. What you can't control you have to just let it happen, trust in the bigger picture, trust in the plan. Go with the flow, rather than fighting it. Trust life. Let it be. Life is constant flux, constant changes. More so for us than most people. I felt so tired early last week, but out of the blue my energy increased from nowhere on Thursday. We can never predict what tomorrow will bring or how we will feel. 

 

Also a day spend in bed will do you a lot of good, but it is never fun. I am not surprised you felt anxious seeing as for our bodies just being in bed all day is a bit of a shock. Just keep try and take things as easy as possible this week. Try your best and that is all you can do. You have made amazing progress and you should be so proud of that. But it is not a linear process. There will be ups and downs. The sooner we can come to acceptance of this reality, the easier it is to cope with this fluctuations that come with recovery. Remember - WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS HAVING A HUMAN EXPERIENCE. I go back to this again and again! You are doing so much good here on earth my brother, never forget this!! So much joy is coming for us! But for now we have to just go with flow and stick to the principles and process that has got us this far. Remember as well those little moments in the day, when you can meditate for just a short while, to clear your head and take stock. 

 

Your love is giving this world so much brother!! 

 

For me I woke with anxiety again. It becoming a theme now. But quite quickly it reduced as seems to happen. Then rest of the day just resting really. I listen to music again last night. I heard from 2 friends tonight, long emails, that was really nice, but a lot to take in. Another thing to tick off. 

 

I will be praying for you brother! Remember we are in this together and I am always here for you!! We journey together! 

 

Love you so much brother! 

 

God Bless!

[LDN]

GAIL - STUNNING, JUST STUNNING!! 

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT! 

 

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!

[gail]

Scrat, as I was reading you, the image of Jesus holding you tight presented itself to my mind.

I can relate to the fear you're feeling, to the anxiety,your wife stuck in her balloon.

I know that kind of thinking that anxiety brings. Sheer fear.

You may get up today feeling fine or not. We don't know. Take a benzo and turn off the phone.

I'm talking to you Scrat, to myself also. We live things that are so the same. The thing is we don't know when the Summerland will presents itself to us. It's a good idea you had by starting Gail's corner. We can dream there and get out of reality for a short time, maybe just enough to lift us up.

I don't have any solution when it comes to anxiety except to lower it with a benzo. But London has some tricks. And sometimes, you just have to hope and wait. My prayers to you my friend.

Do you remember the name of my avatar? I can't remember. I love you sweet Scrat. Spiritual being living human experience. As you see, we are a lot suffering from anxiety.

[invalidusername]

Hi Gailage...

 

Thank you for your lovely message. I am sure you can relate to my feeling. It is very much a fear at the moment. A benzo will work for anxiety, but not for stress - and neither does the citalopram. The only thing that I found that works is my special K. But I cannot take this all day - this is not good. Once a day at the most, otherwise, I will end up needing larger and larger doses.

 

I am glad you like Gail's corner. It is there for you initially, but you are right, it brings up all a bit of a lift every day when we can think where we are going.

 

Your avatar... you mean the character? That would be Sid!

 

Thanks for my prayers, I also continue mine for you daily my love....

[invalidusername]

Hey brother...

 

Another tough one again today. I woke up and tried to think positive. No new work coming in - just what there is and nothing more. Then as soon as I looked at the phone - a message. A customer's system which they picked up last Friday had gone wrong. Immediate stress... fear... panic. So I had to call and within 20 minutes, the customer was with me and I had to fix the error which took about 30 minutes and that set the tone for some time afterwards. 

 

The problem is that even though there is no more stress in the line of work as I am not taking any more on, my brain is like yours was not so long ago.. red alert 24/7. It is horrific. I just can't turn it off. I gave it a couple of hours and I was already exhausted just from all the "what ifs"... valium didn't work, dramamine didn't work - the only thing that did was my special K - and as I said above, I can't take this all day every day, but it did give me 3 hours of wonderful rest. I only had one more client, and it was wearing off as I went to them, but made it through 90 minutes without much problem - then a fairly large Tesco shop. 

 

By the time I got home, I was in a horrible dark place - ironically, this 8pm slot that seems to get us both. I made myself eat and felt better soon after - no idea if that is related. But I am still in that better place, but very vulnerable. I really hope that today marks the pinnacle of the pain of it all.

 

The problem is, that is doesn't matter when or where I am - in or out, working or not, my brain is still on red alert - it just won't turn off at all. It exhausts me. The longer it carries on, the more it brings a bit of anxiety and depression, simply because I have had enough of it. It would be so easy to take another dose of Kratom, but I know this could lead to a slippery slope, so I will absolutely not do this. This could cause additional problems for sure.

 

I managed about 20 minutes of meditation earlier, and tried before that, but the upstairs neighbours where having the floor done, so they were hammering nails right through the floor boards, so you can imagine the sort of noise that was generating. I am quite serious when I say it was almost unbearable. Both the wife and myself had earplugs in and pillows round our head. It was so loud! I really really hope there is some improvement tomorrow.

 

GAIL'S CORNER - Today I want to tell you about the Hall of Music that I have seen. There are a lot of white marble stairs leading up to a pair of huge doors which open to a circle-shaped theatre. This is where people gather for concerts and also for healing people when they arrive back from their journey to earth - when they need special attention before they go to the health centre I spoke of yesterday. The harmonies of all the voices combine and heal the soul. There are lots of circle layers around the edges of the theatre reaching really high and the stage part is in the centre. Behind this stage there is a really big stained-glass window showing Christ and when the light comes through, it creates orbs of the colours is passes through. It sort of looks like the bubbles you have when you look at a glass of Coke, but so much more beautiful and colourful. I can't really explain it any clearer than this... but much like all the other buildings, it is so beautiful. It is also so tall that you can barely see the ceiling. It seem like it reaches into the sky. 

 

More tomorrow! Thank you both again for your prayers - I really need them to help me through my days at the moment. I will keep on as best I can...

 

So much love... much much love

 

God Bless

[LDN]

Hey man. Really sorry to hear about another difficult day. I can resonate with that feeling of 24/7 red alert so much. This is a really tough patch for you but you are being so brave and showing such spirit. I am very proud of you brother! 

 

I have noticed quite a change in my energy levels since I reduced my dose. Just goes to show that even a really small amount can make a big difference. I find it amazing doctors don't know this. Today I was out the back for my garden meditation for 1 hour 12 minutes, a new record! Plus I went out the front for 21 minutes. So 1 hour 33 mins walking today, a huge jump for me! I have to be really gradual here because if such a small amount is leading to such increases in energy, I won't be able to cope if I have too much energy overload. I am so so happy I decided to take this slow, because if I hadn't I would be too overwhelmed right now. I listened to music again last night, so 4 days in a row. Lots of changes going on right now! Good in the long term but I have to be very steady here. 

 

I think you did really great today as I said. This will pass. I have had it before and it passed every time. You I am here for you always brother! 

 

Well done for getting in 20 minutes on meditation. That will make a big difference I am sure. To have the get up and go to do that is fantastic. I really really feel for you right now brother, but I now you will come through this. I have seen you come through so much before. This is all part of the plan and you will learn a lot from this. Your love is giving the world so much! You are making such a difference to this earth! 

 

I feel vulnerable myself tonight a bit emotionally overwhelmed with all this extra energy! 

 

I will be praying with all my heart! 

 

Remember I am always here!! 

 

Love you so much brother! 

 

God Bless!

[gail]

Scrat, London is right when he says that your love is giving the world so much.

Your participation to the forum shows how much you care and and we can feel the love going into every posts. People in withdrawal suffer so much that they need your love and care.

To better days, they always come. Of course, they don't stay. That's for everyone, withdrawal of not. God says that there is a meaning to every suffering. Later, we will know and we'll cry tears of joy. Love you! Yes, I was looking for that name, SID, SHORT MEMORY, Max and Sid, such beautiful eyes!!!¡The scenery that you described, was it in a dream?

[fishinghat]

OK, brain rot. That character of yours is not Sid eight? That is scrat. Am I confused here?

 

Darn  Cymbalta.

[gail]

I think that cymbalta did something to your brain, or is it us? Sid eight? We'll ask Scrat, they are best friends, he must know!

[fishinghat]

SHOT!! Not eight, it is suppose to be the word 'right'. I only have three brain cells and even they are not connected to each other!!??!!

[invalidusername]

What on earth is going on with everyone's brains today

 

OK... so brother Hat. Sid and Scrat are two independent characters from the movies. Sid is a sloth and Scrat is wrongly thought to be half squirrel and half rat - hence sc-rat, but he is a sabre-toothed squirrel! Hope that clears that up

 

Gail, that was such a beautiful post earlier - was bringing a tear to my eyes. I have kept this message in my inbox because I know I will want to come back to it many times. Thank you - love you so very much.

 

Oh, and Gail's corner yesterday was from a meditation....

[invalidusername]

Hey brother...

 

Thanks for your kind words and I was sure you would know all the 24/7 red alert stuff. It is so nice to know there is someone out there that understands and of whom I can have a direct line to talk to. There are no words to say how good it feels at these times. And of course, after 3 months, it hit quite hard.

 

I was a bit worried last night as I had to somehow get up and see my therapist again. I am now on the paid sessions as my 6 NHS "freebies" are all spent. You'd think in this day and age that the NHS would put more money into therapy - I mean how much can you get through in 6 sessions? Oddly enough the stress levels were very low, but anxiety was really high. This was largely due to the fact that I have been needing my sleep and I didn't get enough last night, so my head was spinning a bit and the cold weather made the walk difficult. But she settled me well when I got there. 

 

She told me that there was no question that I had hit one mother of a burnout. She has given me some mindful exercises to help find the "pause" button on my brain as the problem is - as you know - it just never shuts off. I have also been given a great quote which I have written down nice and big on some A4 paper and put on my wardrobe so I see it every morning. I think it is very profound... which is why we have therapists!! I quote;

 

"Find time to relax... or your body will do it for you"

 

Loosely translated, if you don't chill out at some point in the day, you will burnout! I need to live by that to avoid this sort of thing. I am not 18 any more!! 

 

Can't believe you have smashed your record again man! Is there no end to this man's talents?! 93 minutes of total walking is gob-smackingly wonderful man. Just read that sentence back to yourself a few times until it has really sunk in! That is the length of the average movie! Incredible. Well done!

 

Please be careful with the whole energy thing though. Need to make sure there is some balance to it all - and of course doctors do not understand the small changes and the effects they can have. There is a lot of ignorance with some - but there are some good ones out there. 

 

GAIL'S CORNER - Today I want to recall a true story about a girl who remembered her last life. It is a lovely reminder that we have another home. The girl was very young and she kept telling her mother about the house she grew up in, she couldn't remember the name of the street, but she knew it was a gray house that backed onto a field and was the third in a row of four houses. The town she was saying it was in was many miles away so her mother didn't do anything until she couldn't taken it any more. 

 

She took her daughter up to the town and they were asking people where these houses might be but no-one could tell her. When her mother was about to give up, her daughter told her mum to follow her when she recognised a street. They walked for quite a few minutes and then there it was... a row of 4 cottages, with a gray one in the third position which backed onto a field. 

 

She then told her mother what her father's name was and that he died by a train accident. They went to the town council and looked up the people who used to live in the gray house, and the man (what the little girl said was her father) had died whilst constructing the new railway.

 

All of these facts were checked by other people before it was written - and it was all true. I think children are amazing when they can remember their different homes.

 

Much love to you brother and sister!

 

God Bless 

[LDN]

Gail that was a really beautiful post! I was really touched by that!! So so true!! 

 

'God said there is a meaning to every suffering. Later we will know and cry tears of joy' WOW. STUNNING. 

 

I am blown away by your wisdom and love - I think all of us on the forum are my love!! You are something SO SPECIAL!!! 

 

Thank you for your incredible words again!! I learn so much from you!! 

 

You are extraordinary!!

 

Love you so much!!