114 replies to this topic

[gail]

Hello to all members of not.

I'll be leaving Earth for my real home by the end of the year. I've been here for about 5 years helping and welcoming all of you the way I could.

This is, this was such an opportunity for me. I learned English, expressions, but mostly compassion for those who suffer from withdrawal or mental disease which is my case and no it doesn't show looking at me.(Lol)

I have had the chance to know where it all came from. Non affection from both parents. The best schools, the best clothing, the best food but no affection. They could not give me what I so yearned for, attention and affection.

This still follows me today, 30 years of Psychotherapy in my bag. It is what it is. They can't take away what's has grown into you and with you, it would be like removing a leg. So I learned how, or did I? How to live with it.

Anxiety, depression, fear of reject, fear of being blamed, fear of living. This came crashing big time in my early fifties. I wonder how I made it till today. Now 65, I still feel like a kid and dress like in the 1970. Minus the mini skirt. Kind of cute and old age.

When I came to the forum, i was such in a bad way. Four months on 30mg and another month on 15 and off. Cymbalta had driven me crazy, much worse than before starting. I needed to get off that fast.

During that period, many people helped me. And I personally thank FiveNotions, Thismoment, Fishinghat aka Sir, Einstein, and Liz from Florida. They listened and welcomed me. They were great. Thank God I had them. I felt at home and never departed since.

For those who'll be following me, I hope you do, even when you can't answer just a warm welcome will do. While someone else comes to the rescue!

How often that I don't know the answer, and we don't want to leave Fishinghat do all the work, he gets lost easily (lol). While I still can, I will be here, even if my Friend Einstein and I don't share the same view.

That's Cymbalta in the news for today! I love you all and feel so much for you!
Gail xxxxx

[fishinghat]

I can proudly say Gail has fought the good fight. And while I do get lost easy (lol) I will never loose site of my love for a good friend and hero to many, Gail. I am glad to say she is a devote Christian and will finally know peace and joy. God be with you Gail and my prayers.

 

[juli]

Gail I am sure that you have been a gift to so many hurting people. God bless you.  Juli

[KathyInFL]

Gail, I think you were the first one to welcome me to these forums, don't let the hat take all the credit! 

 

You have helped me countless times and you still do when I read your answers! 

 

You are a godsend! 

[gail]

Thanks for all your kind words, there should be a box near the"I like this", with the mention "Thank you". Seems more appropriate for the situation.

Ken, do you copy? ( Lol)

[brzghoff]

Gail, 

 

My heart breaks - you are such a strong woman. You are a real inspiration to us all with your kindness, care and compassion. You have such great insights and suggestions - and have aided many of us by just being here for all of us. You are the angel that watches over and supports us. You are one of a kind, a true miracle. 

 

This world is truly a better place because of you.

 

Much love,

 

Brz

[gail]

Update

As the end of the year is approaching, my deadline,I really don't see it coming soon.
How often have I thought, this is it. Like in September when I spent one whole month in palliative care.

The new pain was horrendous, tests after tests, they found three new metastases on my spine.
I was put on Fentanyl, that is a life saver. The pain is well controlled for the moment.

I can't do much, after five minutes standing up, I need to sit, I get tired easily

At times, I think that I'm lazy, let's say that I do my best. Even if that means doing my grocery with my pyjama pants, they look like summer pants!!!

So, I guess that I will be with you for a little while more. I love you all!

[fishinghat]

We love you too Gail. You have been such a dear friend for so many years. I am being selfish nut the longer you stay around the better. I am glad they are keeping you pain free. And as always God bless and prayers.

[juli]

Thank you for the update Gail.  I have been thinking of you lately.  Praise God that you are pain free for the moment.

We are so lucky to have you in this community.

Juli

[KathyInFL]

I have been thinking of you too Gail, love you lots! 

[gail]

My dear friends,

Here I am for another update.
I saw the oncologist, I was with my family, and we first discussed what could be done for the right humerus. Phone calls were made to see an orthopedist that would confirm the opinion of the oncologist. So, five hours later, it was all settled.

Keep in mind that a bad movement could easily break the arm. So, I'll have embolization of that arm on Wednesday. Patching the little holes to prevent blood gushing here and there.
On Thursday, I will have surgery, pins and screws to prevent breaking. Like on my spine. I'll be home for Friday. All that next week. Lucky me, all was perfectly arranged and fast.

There are about ten sites where mets have made their home. Minimal for the moment. We will treat each site as pain comes along.

I expected worse by the sound of her voice when she called. I was her last patient as she took retirement after I left. What beautiful people they all are. Spending 6 hours there was rough.

I guess that I'll be here for a while once more. Fishinghat and IUN, I will be watching you like an hawk. I love you all, you Are my second family. Thanks for reading.

[fishinghat]

Oh Gail my friend. What to say. Just than k God for each new day you are with us but yet I hate to see you suffer. Blessings to you and your gamily. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

[invalidusername]

Wow - well that is some news! I can't imagine what you must have gone through in all those hours there - you did so very well! And great that you will be around to keep an eye on Hat and myself... no doubt we need it!

 

I have made a mental note of when you are away next week so I don't freak out by your absence here, and will look forward to all the updates when you get time. 

 

You are here for good reason my dear Gailage - as Hat said, each new day... there is something for you here, whether you realise it or not. 

 

Lots of Blessings, Light and Love.

[KathyInFL]

I guess that I'll be here for a while once more. Fishinghat and IUN, I will be watching you like an hawk. I love you all, you Are my second family. Thanks for reading.

 

That is the best news I've heard in many many moons!! xoxox

[LDN]

WOW your are so so brave! Inspiring gail! A real true hero!! Have lovely rest you deserve it! 

 

Lots and lots of love and blessings!!

[gail]

Notmyself,

These are gifts received by much SUFFERING. Thank you for everything you are doing for me, for us. You are a kind soul.

[invalidusername]

lion soul - so beautiful NM.

 

New name for the Gailage.

[gail]

Lion soul, I like. Is there a meaning?

[invalidusername]

I interpret it that your soul has immeasurable strength... it knows no bounds. Your inner fight and resistance is legend!

[invalidusername]

Bless you... and I don't mean if you just sneezed

 

God moves in some lovely ways among us here in the forum.

[TryinginFL]

I have been way behind in reading posts and trying to catch up...

 

My dear Gail, we have met and become great friends on this forum and you are always in my prayers.  I am so thankful that you are still here as we all love you without bounds.

 

God Bless,

Liz

[gail]

Thank you Liz,

Yes, I'm still here for a while till God takes me under his wings to bring me back home. Those last 3-4 years have been quite a test on myself. How better I would be without this lingering depression, I'm holding on WHEN THE TIMES RIGHT, I, GOD, WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN. this is so hard!

[fishinghat]

1 Peter

20 For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. 21 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps:

22
“Who committed no sin,
Nor was deceit found in His mouth”;

 

Comment - Jesus had no faults but yet He had to suffer. He did not complain about this as He knew it was His Father's will. God finds it commendable if when we suffer we also do not complain but suffer patiently.

[gail]

Fishinghat, could you explain to me the first phrase please. In French ...lol! Simple English will be ok.

Suffer patiently, do you mean not talking about it?

I know, innocent Gail! Thank you!

[fishinghat]

Two other translations are below and then a note from me on how Pastors usually explain this.
"For what credit is it if you sin and are mistreated and endure it? But if you do good and suffer and so endure, this finds favor with God."

"But suppose you receive a beating for doing wrong, and you put up with it. Will anyone honor you for this? Of course not. But suppose you suffer for doing good, and you put up with it. God will praise you for this."

Mant scholars expalain it this way...use an uncomplaining spirit, and bear it with the utmost calmness and patience (acceptance that the suffering will end when it ends, when it ends is up to God and His schedule, you have no rush to when it ends but leave this up to God). Certainly not easy to do and maybe this is why it impresses God. It would demonstrate great faith in God's will.