39 replies to this topic

[Distraught]

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[Distraught]

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[FiveNotions]

Oh Distraught, your husband is in hard, cold turkey withdrawal. And he went from a really high dose, 180 is the max. mg allowed ... down to 120 mg, and from there to zero ... his poor brain is going crazy from the abrupt withdrawal of the Cymbalta ... actually, from the loss of the serotonin transmitter that the Cymbalta was "boosting" for him in his brain.

Is he refusing to see a doc at this point? Does he realize that he's in hard withdrawal, and that if he insists on doing it cold turkey, this hell can go on for several months or more before it begins to get better?

Why wouldn't he go see his doctor? And why would she "cut him off" rather than call in a renewal to the Rx?

He needs to get back on the Cymbalta and stay there until he stabilizes, then bead count his way down... possibly also "cross over" to a different med ... AND he needs a benzo to help him with the anxiety....

Would he want to come to the forum himself and post, or at least read? It'll be much easier to help him directly, than for us to work through you ...

Just remember, he has zero control of what's happening to him right now ... moods, physical symptoms, etc are all running wild. What would probably be best would be for him to go back on the stuff at 120 mg, get stable, as in no withdrawal, and then do the sensible thing ... bead count down slowly ...

Ok, let's get to work here .. in order to help you, we're going to need a more information... you may have told us some of this in your first post, but it'll help us to have the info in response to the specific questions to which it relates...

Does your husband realize that what's happening to him is Cymbalta withdrawal? W

Does he have anything on hand to handle the anxiety? A benzo, like Xanax or valium or lorazepam?

Is he trying to work while he goes through this?
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When was he started on Cymbalta?
What dose? 180 mg?
Is it the brand or the generic?
And he stayed on that for about a week?
Then down to 120 mg., and he was at that dose for about 6 mos?
Then, on Sept. 10, he quit cold turkey ... 120 to zero ?

He was put on it for leg pain. What kind of leg pain? Neuropathy?

He had bad side effects while on it. Like what?
Did he talk to his doc about the side effects?
Why hasn't he gone back to the doc who put him on it?

Why did you decide to take him to a shrink, rather than the same type of doc who put him on it in the first place?

Does he also have depression?
What other meds is he on, for what conditions, and what doses?

Sorry for all the questions... I'm writing in haste while you're still here!

[FiveNotions]

Here are couple of "home remedies" that may help him a bit right away .... assuming you can get him to try them ...

Benadryl

Nyquil or Robbitussin (sp?) cough syrup ... they have "DMX" in them ... can't recall the full word, but it gives the brain a quick serotonin boost ... lasts for a few hours ... and, helps with sleep... BUT don't let him take Nyquil during the day if he's trying to work ...

[FiveNotions]

I'm so sorry I just missed you ... it took me so damn long to type my message to you that you'd left the thread by the time I posted ...

What I really want to say is that yes, others here have posted about spouses going through this and how terribly hard it is on the marriage ... and, those of us here in withdrawal who are married, also post about the same thing ...

Yes, you need to vent. And, so does your husband. It's just that you're the one who's pro active, and was able to find us. Which is why I'm wondering if your husband would at least read some of the information posted here.... ?

You may also, at this point, need a therapist for yourself ... God forbid, not a psychiatrist ... just someone for you to talk to about your own issues as your husband deals with the withdrawal.

And, just so you know ... docs/shrinks/therapists know zero, zip, nada about the withdrawal/discontinuation from this drug ... they know only what the Eli Lilly drug reps tell them ... very few of us here have had / do have docs/therapists who are actually familiar with this, and are willing to acknowledge that an extended, hard withdrawal even exists ...

The other wonderful folks on the forum will be here tomorrow to greet you, give you advice and encouragement.

You and your husband are going to get through this!

Stay with us and keep posting, please!

[Distraught]

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[Distraught]

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[Carleeta]

Distraught, first let me welcome you to the forum....You have come to the right place. The members here are wonderful, loving, supportive, and more than willing to express their experiences and knowledge.

Yes, your husband is experiencing cold turkey withdrawal. This is the most difficult to handle for him and for you. At this point in his withdrawal he himself can't rationalize reality due to what's happening inside his brain along with physical symptoms.

I'm afraid when it comes to stopping cymbalta, most physicians, psychiatrists, and etc., have no clue how to handle how to come off this medicine. It appears what needs to be done from this point forward is to address his and your psychological issues first. You husband may need a benzo to calm his anxiety, although at this point he is rejecting all meds. I Suggest this approach because psychological/therapy, where you both can express issues and concerns, because if someone else other than you suggests an alternative, he might just comform. This is a way both of you can possibly get the help needed to continue on with your loving family.

Please keep us informed.

[Distraught]

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[lady2882Nancy]

Some suggestions here from some one who also experienced insane rage coming off Cymbalta and these are natural remedies not DRUGS which I didn't want to do either

 

1. L-Theanine - make sure it is suntheanine 200mg twice a day with a big glass of water preferably on an empty stomach

2. Omega 3 - but the type that is high in EPA not DHA and if you can find one without the DHA it is even better 4000mg a day with food is recommended but the Gatorade will do.

 

Advice for you - if he wants to be left alone then please give him his space. My Hubbie is the same when sick and wants to be left alone yet is so good  at taking care of me when I am ill. He is not doing this to hurt you it's just he can't deal with the turmoil in his head so everything else is insanely hard to handle. In time he will get better.

Actually your choice of doctors was the best one but he doesn't want to accept it right now.

 

Hang in there - it will get better - it just takes time

[Distraught]

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[Carleeta]

Distraught, my hear is saddened with what you are dealing with, and there is a very difficult time for you. Yes, a females we want to fix everything. Getting yourself some one on one or group therapy will be excellent for yourself. This will ensure you will be able to understand his torment, how you should react, and gain a better understanding in how to approach your children with this upset in their father. You need this for yourself first, then and only then can you help your husband. Right now with the 'fix it' approach, it sounds like your hubby wants no part of it. It's also possible the more you try to fix, the more he feels like a failure added onto his horrific withdrawal symptoms and his severe leg pain. You are doing the right thing by stepping away a bit. As you need a break and have more than enough to take care of. Once your loving husband has time to think, and recover a bit he might see things from your eyes.

Please do keep us informed, we are here for all the support you need, anytime at any moment...

[ShadyLady]

Welcome, Distraught So sorry to read about your situation with your husband's nightmare of cold turkey and the weighty burden that this is placing on you. Just a thought, you might find some comfort reading some posts by one of our newer members, ItsNotRight, who's husband also stopped the crap and the struggles she has been going through. I believe her most recent posts were showing signs of improvement, yay! If you type ItsNotRight in the search box under members, you can click either 'topics' or 'posts' and read her content...maybe, you might want to send her a private message, as well.

Glad you have found us and a place for you to vent as no one understands the hell of getting of this, particularly cold turkey and the high dose your husband chose to dive off a cliff with! I do hope you will seek some counseling from a good therapist who can help you navigate these unchartered waters of cold turkey and the discontinuation syndrome. You should not allow his behaviour to border on verbal abuse or even crossing those borders. I understand his thinking is totally irrational, along with the physical symptoms, but this could continue for sometime based on the high dosage and the full assault on his mind and body. This is HIS choice and you have a choice, and responsibility to yourself and your children, to tell him it is unacceptable for him to continue the sheer stupidity of cold turkey withdrawal. It does not have to be this extreme. I am sad that he, literally, cannot see the forest through the trees right now.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you. Please, take care of yourself and your boys first.

I am 4 months off the crap after down dosing from 120mg to 30mg over a two month period without any noticeable side effects until I cold turkeyed at 30mg and the hell I've endured since. I had to reinstate to 20mg of Prozac last week as the depression was too debilitating for this old broad, 58, and on the Crack! for ten years.

Hang on and keep sharing with us, we do care deeply...

[FiveNotions]

Distraught ... complete loss of sexual desire, ability to "perform," desire to be touched ... even casually ... all typical of Cymbalta ... being on it, getting off it ... one of our members, Fishinghat, who's taking a bit of a break from the forum, has talked about this ... from a man's perspective ... also, a number of us gals have talked about it.

Use the search box in the upper right of the home page, search for libido, sex drive, various key words like that ... you'll pull up the threads where we've discussed this issue ...

Feeling that he's not "there" for you physically, and that he has no sexual desire himself, is yet another suffering that your husband is going through. Don't ask, don't expect, don't say anything to him about it. Just tell him you love him, and tell him to let you know if there's anything you can do to help him. But no pressure, no "advice," nothing along those lines ... when we're in hard withdrawal like he is, we can't handle any kind of stuff like that ... we just need to know that we're loved, and that there's someone "there" if we need them ... sleeping in another room, unless he asks you to do otherwise, is really a good thing. He's in physical, mental, emotional and spiritual agony right now.

No one who has not gone through this themselves can ever truly understand what it's like. That's why you're doing a good thing for yourself by getting set up with your own therapist ...

He's at about the 4 week mark now ... he'll likely start feeling a bit of improvement in another week or so ... just hang in there, you'll see some improvement ... and he'll start to feel some ..

BTW, what kind of work does he do? Is it at a desk, or "out and about"? Also, how is his general physical condition, other than the neuropathy? Did he exercise at all?

[Distraught]

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[ShadyLady]

Sorry, Distraught...I misread your post, common problem post Cym! I did not see that he is a month into withdrawal:( Please, accept my apology if my post sounded cold and/or harsh...I have a lousy marriage and am afraid I am speaking from my own relationship:(

Just wanted to welcome you and glad you joined us and came here for support. I did not mean to condemn, just hate the emotional roller coaster this drug leaves us on as we seek shelter from the storm.

God bless you, Rebecca

[Distraught]

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[Distraught]

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[FiveNotions]

Distraught, absolutely everything your husband is doing is what I did ... the blessing is I lived alone ... I blew up at my best (only) friend frequently ... went from rage to hysterical crying in 4 seconds flat ... even slugged him one night ... luckily he's in great physical shape, and dodged my fist ... I would have bruised his jaw terribly, and definitely broken my hand ... I spent the first month bed bound, lying in a pool of flop sweat, crawling to the bathroom on hands and knees to puke my guts out ... finally just took a pillow and blanket in there and slept on the floor ... ate nothing .. just herb tea, water, and broth ... and, around the 5th week, gello ... had hallucinations, vertigo, muscle spasms, geez ... can't even think of all the other symptoms ...

 

Trust me, being touched, being talked to, being "entertained" or interacting with anyone was the last thing in the world I wanted, or could do.

 

and, on top of that, I knew what was happening, I was trapped inside a brain and body that was going totally haywire ... my guilt level for how I was treating my friend was sky high, and made me sicker ... and he only stopped in twice a week, to see if I was still alive and make me home made soup ... the night I tried to slug him, it was because he suggested "I'd feel better" if we watched a movie ... he couldn't understand why I just wanted to drink a bit of soup and crawl back to bed ... said something like, you should feel better by now ...

 

Going through cold turkey Cymbalta withdrawal is harder than getting off heroin ... I've read lots of comments by recovering heroin junkies on other forums who've also had to get off Cymbalta ... it's worse than alcohol, it's worse than any other antidepressant ...

 

We're like wounded wild animals ... and we need to be left alone to lick our wounds and heal at our own pace ... with just having someone, from a safe distance, tell us they love us, they're there for us if we need them ... and have them leave out food and water for us ... simple soups, broths, etc...

 

It is that bad, and worse. And yes, we make it through. If I could do it, at age 61, and in lousy general shape, having been on the crap for 7-8 years, your husband will be able to do it.

 

Fishinghat said somewhere here that his wife would just sit there with him, never talking, doing her own reading or sewing, and once in a while she'd just reach over and touch / squeeze his hand ... briefly and lightly ... and then go back to doing what she was doing ... she was a silent, comforting presence ...

 

Now, it's different for you, because you work, and you have children to care for. Your husband does not, I assure you, want the children to see him like this. So, just do everything you can to shield him from them, and vice versa. Love him, and leave him alone to heal.

 

While he's healing, you can do what you need to get into talk therapy ... DO NOT go to a psychiatrist ... find a good licensed clinical social worker or psychologist. And, DO NOT expect them to have any knowledge or understanding of Cymbalta withdrawal ... just tell them simply that you're husband is getting off an CNS medication that he was given for neuropathy and is having a very very hard time ... tell them that he's apparently extremely sensitive to these meds, and that you need some support for yourself, and advice on how to support him as he recovers. Don't use the "withdrawal" word ... that means something totally different to the professionals ... technically, Cymbalta "withdrawal" is just the length of time it takes to get it all out of one's blood stream ... 4 days or a bit more ... hahahahaha ...

[Distraught]

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[ItsNotRight]

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[Distraught]

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[Carleeta]

Distraught, and INR, I apologize for not having much to offer you two because here I am, on the other side of the coin. As a suffer myself I find it difficult to help individuals who are not suffering from the Cymbalta withdrawal.

If of course your spouses are willing to take a look at this forum they might be able to find answers to what they are going through. They will receive the support, knowledge, and answers to their questions. Myself, and other members would be able to relate to them and visa versa.

All I can offer is to keep getting therapy for yourselves for you both need to be happy.

I with you both well because you both deserve to be happy.

[Distraught]

Thank you, Carleeta. You are helping. Everyone has helped in a different, but important way. This forum is amazing and I am finding myself a bit addicted to it because it's such a great source of comfort all the way around. I can't really talk too much about what's going on at work or to my friends because 1. I need to be the breadwinner and don't want people to think I'm going through too much at home to do a good job at work and 2. No one really understands. The advice that's given isn't nearly on the mark as much as what's on here.

 

I would have to tell him, "Don't ever, ever, ever in a million years visit this forum." That's the only way he would do it. Sorry, but it's true. There's no surer way to get him to not come on here than for me to suggest it.

 

Thank you for your kind words. :-)

[Carleeta]

Distraught, the best thing to do is exactly what you have done; getting therapy for yourself. Getting your husband onboard here would benefit him, and in turn might makes things easier for you. Although until that day comes, you will at least be getting help for yourself and your children.

[ItsNotRight]

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[FiveNotions]

Distraught, then I suggest you do that ... tell hubby that this is a place he should never visit!

 

But, the problem is, he'd see your posts and know it's you ... that would blow things sky high ... so, if you can get him to come here, you'll need to quit and find a forum or a therapist for yourself ... it would be impossible to have both of you here ...

 

actually, now that I think about it, it would be unethical. Cuz this forum is like AA, totally confidential. For example, in AA, the alcoholic spouse goes to AA, and the co-dependent spouse (that would be you, in your case) goes to Al-Anon. They never attend the same meetings.

 

It really is your husband who we can help ... we'll do our best to give you suggestions, but as I just posted over in INR's thread, what we know here is what you husband is experiencing, and it's him we could really help.

 

Hang in there!

[Distraught]

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[Distraught]

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[brzghoff]

So, tell me what therapist is going to understand that and tell me what I should do that is going to actually be good advice? And I agree with INR - mine is a selfish rant too. But WTF, we've been called selfish for months. Let us have our rants then.
 

 

 

 

 

actually a good therapist is going to tell you that being selfish is exactly what you need to be! its time to think about yourself and take care of yourself. be there for yourself. its not your responsibility to be a slave to abuse. there is nothing honorable about that. you cannot control your husband/SO - you know that. but you can control the choices you make to take care of yourself. perhaps thats the place to start?