47 replies to this topic

[Sytske]

Hello dear new friends, 

 

My name is Sytske and I was first put on AD (Lexamil) when I had moved from NL to SA. I was going through a rough patch and before I knew it I stood in the pharmacy with a script in hand. From that moment onwards I was labelled "depressed-can't-cope-without-popping-her-daily-pill". 

 

From that moment I started to believe this lie. About a year ago I was put on Cymbalta because I did not feel quite myself on the ever increasing dose of Lexamil. Why I was put on a SNRI instead of trying another SSRI is a question I am only asking myself now. 

 

On Cymbalta I developed an issue with alcohol, I started craving it and in higher dosages. I told my Psych about this, but he had neeeeeeeever heard of this. (Google it, it is all there...) I became quite agitated, like highly strung all the time while on it too. 

 

Long story short, I wanted off pills and have my own brain back. Besides that I have a lovely job (although since I decided to stop Cym, all hell decided to break loose there), I have amazing friends, a good church etc. I even work out. 

 

I tapered down but then got tired off the beads that hop around like millions of tiny ping-pong balls. So went off on Monday, 6 days ago. The worst symptom for me is the strange dizzyness. Like my eyes bouncing around when I move them. Even my own heart-beat can set it off. When is this gonna stop? I noticed that valoid is helping a little, and even small amounts of codeine. It is very frightening at times and I work with kids who never sit or stand still.... 

 

Other than that I have moments where I can't really stop my mind from negative thoughts. I feel teary as well but that is fine, I want to feel those things again. 

 

Wow it is soooooooooo nice just to write this down. Whoever is gonna read and reply, thank you so much

 

X

 

[fishinghat]

Welcome Sytske. I am afraid things will get worse before they get better. The first 4 to 6 weeks are the worse with very and I mean very small improvements after that. This stuff is tough but it can be done. It just requires a lot of patience.

[gail]

Hello Sytske,

 

Wellcome aboard on this strange trip or ship or shit trip,

 

Alcool cravings, seen and read that often. All the symptoms you are having are normal. Negative thoughts also, dizzyness is part of it, we all have this to a different degree. Feeling teary, of course.

 

Yes it can be frightening, it is, We have all been there. The mind does not stop. You have valium and may need to upper it for a while.

 

You have much going for you, friends, church, a good job. But in withdrawal, it seems that all those things dont count, because of the side effects of withdrawal. As you say, all hell has broken loose. Yes, that is part of the game.

 

You do not mention the dose you were on, at what dose you stopped. That may help the God-likes to help you here.

 

When will this stop? I had dizzyness for 3 days and others for much longer.

 

A few more details would help, but know that what you are feeling is normal.

 

Others will chip in, stand by, it is saturday and a bit slower, hang on!

[FiveNotions]

Hello Sytske, welcome and bravo for deciding to get off the crapalta!

I wrote a long response to you, and just lost it  ... how, I have no idea ... so, I'll try to summarize what I said ...

You work with children, which is a major responsibility ... this might make it worth considering hopping back on the stuff, stabilizing and then tapering over a period of time by bead counting. (Like you, I quit cold turkey like you, it's hard, but it can be done.)

Also, if you have some leave or vacation time saved up, you might want to use it ... it would get you away from the job situation and the children (who can make anyone dizzy, much less someone who's getting off Cymbalta ) ... and it would give you time to rest and let your brain and body focus on the healing process.

Check out our "nutritional support" forum for some ideas on what you might want to take as you go through this ... multi vitamin, b complex, omega 3 and chelated magnesium seem to be the "basics."

 

Hang in there, and keep us posted on how you're doing!

[buntbean2]

I'm one week off and I'm certainly experiencing the dizziness.  I don't even have to move and I know it's there.  I didn't get any of the brain zaps I've heard others mention so it's obviously a unique experience for everyone.  Emotions are amuck.  It's encouraging to have others who have been thru this responding and encouraging us.  One day at a time.

[Sytske]

Okay so some more info:

 

I went off 60 to 30 Mg because we only have capsules here. Besides splitting headaches, which lasted for 5 days I started feeling lighter and better pretty soon. Then phase 2 started, counting beads over a period of 2 weeks. Since Monday I stopped, because I could not do that counting thingy anymore, I have a life you know! 

 

All hell broke loose at work, not with me (it helps for me to compartmentalize, not just see everything as one big soup)

I take Valoid, not Valium which is cyclyzine, for car sickness. 

I take double the dose on both Omega 3 and Magnesium and went for a B-complex shot in my derriere on Thursday. I also take the complex and extra iron. 

 

I won't go back on since the junk is out of my system now completely, I want some help with the adjustment of my brains. I hear you guys but ones I am off, that is it! Hahahahha

 

I am not down at all, just sometimes have to stop myself from going to far in thinking, but I am also really tired of having been feeling these dizzy spells for the past few weeks.

 

I can't take off work either which is a real bummer.... 

 

It is Sunday morning here on this part of the planet and my head feels really nice and clear now. I am not (yet) dizzy and I do feel I am starting to come to the better end of things. 

 

God-like from Missouri, you are painting a grim picture there, 4 to 6 weeks and then sloooow improvement? Are you for real? Best Friend, you had dizzyness for 3 days.... yah I like your story better hehehehehhe. 

 

Anyhow, this is good, soooooo good. I really think that if I am not dizzy anymore and I can start driving a little further than just this little village I am gonna be great! But hey, I just made myself breakfast in bed, have not been in contact with the real world yet. 

 

Please keep chatting to me. Ow one more question.... a rather strange one..... was your stool also..... ahm...... different?

[Sytske]

Okay half an hour later... hello dizziness. Oh man!

[gail]

Morning there S, yes the god like from Missouri is for real.

If you search through the forum, in the How are you feeling department, you will find that what you are going through
Is the norm.

I never had brain zaps, m. t of them do.
Besides dizzyness, any other symptoms?

Constipation or loose stools go with this.

As Buntbean said, it is a unique experience for each of us.

You are at day seven, you were bead counting, and I know that you do not want to touch that shit again

You have two choices, continue the cold turkey way, you could be one of the lucky ones and get through it
Without too much difficulty, or reinstate the previous dose and bead count from there.

I would say that if dizziness is the main symptom and not much else, give it time and continue the ct way.

Geez, but remember that the brain has been altered, and it takes more than a few weeks, much more than
That to heal.

God like from Missouri calls it as it is, I know this is discouraging to hear, it has been proven to be true for most
Of us, at the 12 or 13 week of discontinuation is when we begin to see much improvement.

You could be the exception here.

Keep posting, we are here for you.

[Sytske]

Hello dearest ones, 

 

I love this honesty here. I went to the Health Store and asked for 5HTP. I know it is controversial,but hey SNRI's are also and we all have to die of something. An hour after the first dose I started feeling more relaxed and managed to have a nice snooze of 2 hrs! I am up and about to take the windy drive through the mountains here to see my friend, and I am doing pretty well, although I am scared to admit. 

 

Can you guys tell me how long you have been completely off and how you are doing now? Show me the light.... 

 

Big Smooch from a Sunny South Africa

[brzghoff]

 

Sytske,

 

welcome to the forum. as you've been told, every story is different but there are similarities that have thread their way through our individual journeys. i've been off just over 13 weeks after 10 years on the C (8 years before that on "various" other anti-d's) i did a "fast taper" that was basically a modified cold turkey. at that point the discontinuation symptoms can be intense. the worst kicked in for me about 1-2 weeks off the drug. the physical was mostly the runs and body aches - the fluish feeling. i am also having issues with neuropathic pain, tingling, numbness and burning in my arms and hands. i am one of the lucky ones who never had a "brain zap" i am still taking lamictal. i don't know if that has anything to do with it. it may also be softening somewhat the mental withdrawal symptoms - but they have still been rough. anxiety was/is a biggie for me. it was never an issue before the C. i was diagnosed with chronic depression but anxiety was never a component. for me the best remedy for anxiety and my mental health in general has been returning to my therapist after two years away. cognitive skills are a godsend for me in dealing with anxiety. i seem to have made a break through in regard to the anxiety. its been a little over a week and its never reached a higher level than "annoying". when i do its at night - i don't get that, but whatever. i do have trouble sleeping which is a real bummer. on the C i could sleep at a moments notice, and never less than 9 hours a night. for the first several weeks after getting off the C other mental issues for me were the typical irritability, obsessive thoughts and paresthesia in my legs (maybe that is physical???). it takes many forms but for me its a sensation - not pain - more of an obsessive sensation - of razor blades knicking and slicing my shins! i don't talk about it much but it is totally chronic. i would get it whenever i started a new anti-d, but it would then go away after several weeks. never kicked in again until ramping down and then getting off the C. 

 

the other biggie is that the side effects of discontinuation are cyclical. they go away and come back. don't get discouraged. the don't come back as strong and don't last as long. as others have shared. the number of good days in a row get longer and the series of bad days in a row grow shorter. for me, when the mental issues cycle down the physical ones pick up. after the first couple of weeks i rarely have had them concurrent. for me the real breakthrough was 12 weeks off. i quit my job prior to going off the C - for other reasons but recognized it created a good opportunity to do what i'd wanted for several years. i think at this point getting back into the workforce would help me the most. i need a routine, a schedule and somewhere to be other than home all the time. oh, and having an income would be nice too ;-) 

 

do not be alarmed if/when the going gets rough. if it only lasted a couple weeks for most folks there wouldn't be this forum. if you can bead count, that is the recommended method. it does not prolong the withdrawal it makes it easier. i don't bead count and regret it tremendously. if you can stay employed through out that is great, but don't be surprised if you need to take time off. i hope that is an option. 

[FiveNotions]

South Africa, eh? Wow, Sytske, you've definitely added to our international status!

 

To answer your question, yes, there is light! There is life after cymbalta, and it is wonderful! I'm 8 1/2 months off, and am up and functioning very well on most days ...

 

my only continuing physical issues are anxiety (connected more to my need to find a job than to the Cymbalta, and well-controlled with clonidine and valium if it gets out of hand), mild optic neuritis (for a day at the most, every couple of months), getting teary-eyed at the most simple of things (almost daily), and an occasional major emotional melt-down (when I've gotten over tired) ...

 

mentally/cognitively, my long term memory still has some gaps in it, and my short term memory and reasoning ability is coming back slowly but still isn't where I'd like it to be ....

 

these things may be permanent, I'm not sure ... but if this is all I'm "stuck with," I can function fine and can accept the deficits ... and the most positive indicator that I'm settled into recovery-mode is that my sense of humor has returned ...

[Sytske]

It is evening on this side and I had a nice day, although the dizziness comes and goes. I do feel 5HTP is helping. I just need a good night's sleep and see how it goes tomorrow. You guys are all so sweet and comforting. If I ever knew that this recovery period is so hectic and so long I would have never started any of these meds. 

I am gonna have a little stroll through the different topics and then off to bed. 

I will keep you informed and thanks again!

X

[buntbean2]

When I made the decision to go off the Cymbalta I "checked" this forum for what to expect while going off.  I learned about the bead counting and then I just decided to do it.  I remember thinking it was strange/amazing that some people had stayed with this forum so long after stopping the drug  Looking back I wish I had done some more serious reading.   I can see I went way too fast but I figured some dizziness and mood swings weren't so bad.  Now that I'm completely done (11 days) my mood swings are turbo charged, my dizziness has gone from moderate to "just got off the tilt and whirl (or hurl).  My family is being patient but that's not going to last weeks...months.  I actually slept, which was wonderful, but now I'm walking around like a zombie.  Thank you to those who have stuck with us newbies!  The knowledge you're able to share is so very appreciated, although, sometimes jaw dropping discouraging LOL.  Months??  Ugh!

[TryinginFL]

Welcome Buntbean2!  Apparently I was out of town when you joined us but am happy that you did!

 

I, as well as others here, am a cold turkey survivor - 7 1/2 months now, but have been having some really bad days since I came back from my trip.  It appears that doing too much and pushing yourself just puts you right back into the "bad days".  I thought I was doing quite well in my discontinuation after that period of time, but please - take my advice on this - be easy and kind to yourself.

 

In the beginning I had a headache for 2 weeks that I thought would make my head explode but it finally faded. Since I have returned, that same headache came back but is slowly easing now.  I wish I could tell you when all of this will end, but we are all different - just try to relax as much as possible and rest, rest, rest!

 

I wish you well and please keep us posted!

 

Liz

[fishinghat]

Bad news - Usually months

 

Good News - You are not alone and it will end.

[TryinginFL]

Welcome Sytske!  I guess I was out of town when you joined as well...I'm happy that you have found us as it will make your discontinuation easier having a place to post, rant, cry or whatever.  All is acceptable and it is a safe place...

 

My best wishes for a speedy withdrawal and please keep posting!

 

Liz

[thismoment]

Hi Sytske

 

You have received great advice from compassionate, knowledgeable, and (above all)-- experienced people: gail, brzghoff, FiveNotions, buntbean2, TFL (welcome back Liz), and of course our go-to guy, fishinghat.

 

For those romantic fools like me who have endured more than one broken heart, we know not to ask how long it takes to recover. Oh there's a timeline alright, but it's kind of like a rope hanging down into the water off the end of a dock: you think you can see the end of it; you guess that it might be 6 feet long, no maybe 8 or could be even 12-- there's no way to gauge it accurately, so forget about the timeline. Like the broken heart, it's over when you stop thinking about it.

 

Discontinuation has a long half-life which yields an ever-thinning timeline that gets fuzzier and fuzzier as time passes and its image drifts off and merges with the horizon. It's up, it's down; it's gone, then it's back; I feel energetic; my muscles are cramped up and my joints hurt; I'm upbeat and full of energy, then I'm anxious and feel like hiding; I'm talkative and coming out, then I'm morose and weeping. It comes and goes. But it fades and fades and fades. You can't alter the timeline, except to make that time more difficult. Accept it. 

 

Be careful with 5-HTP. You might consider tryptophan as a safer alternative that doesn't skip a step.  Take care.

[brzghoff]

...  Thank you to those who have stuck with us newbies!  The knowledge you're able to share is so very appreciated, although, sometimes jaw dropping discouraging LOL.  Months??  Ugh!

we have all benefited from the ones who have come before. we hope to be able to pay it forward - although i feel like some who've come after me pay it backward as well. we all need support while we give it. We were all newbies at one time! why it seems like it was just 13 weeks ago ;-)

[Sytske]

Okay so a little update from my side.

 

The continues Dizziness is no longer there, but I have episodes of it. Hot flushes, dizziness and wanting to vomit. I have two or three of those a day now (the last two days). I think I am improving a lot.

 

The calmness inside my head is sooooo nice. I can feel and then know why I feel the way I feel. I had only emotion left and that was general upsetness and agitation to the max. This is what it must feel like to be alive. 

Note: it is not easy though, I know I have a lot of catching up to do, emotions wise but I am gonna face it now. 

 

I had creepy crawlies in my legs and arms at night, but that seems to get better. Did anyone have that too? Another funny one is the hot and cold flushes. I know Serotonine is responsible for regulating body temperature, so that makes sense. 

 

What helps: Taking walks, being amongst people, double dose of omega 3 and Magnesium. 5HTP is there as a back up and I take one before I go to sleep. Ow and nausea medication, had to take one because I was in a lunch meeting and the room started to spin. 

 

I sleep really well now, and don't have crazy nightmares anymore. This is such a huge relief. 

 

I hope that the worst is really over, the rest I can deal with. 

 

When did you really hit the worst moment? Was it the first week or after that?

 

SYtske

[FiveNotions]

Great progress report, Sytske! I'm in awe that you've been able to work while going through this... wow!

My worst time was the whole first month ... 4 weeks of non-stop hell ... then, right around 6 weeks I had my first "turning point" ... at 8 weeks, another one ... marking noticeable and steady improvement ...

Yep, I had the "creepy crawlies" in my legs, and restless leg syndrome (RLS) ... also had it in my hands and jaw ... at night ... couldn't stop clenching and unclenching ... drove me nuts, until I tried taking tryptophan (precursor to 5-htp) ... that seemed to put a stop to it ...

Serotonin is deeply involved in almost all our cognitive and bodily functions ... screw up the serotonin, and kaboom ... we're screwed up ...

You're doing great, keep us posted ... we love success stories!!

[fishinghat]

My worse part was similar to FN.

[gail]

[quote name="thismoment" post="47165" timestamp="1408406727"]Hi Sytske
 
You have received great advice from compassionate, knowledgeable, and (above all)-- experienced people: gail, brzghoff, FiveNotions, buntbean2, TFL (welcome back Liz), and of course our go-to guy, fishinghat.
 
For those romantic fools like me who have endured more than one broken heart, we know not to ask how long it takes to recover. Oh there's a timeline alright, but it's kind of like a rope hanging down into the water off the end of a dock: you think you can see the end of it; you guess that it might be 6 feet long, no maybe 8 or could be even 12-- there's no way to gauge it accurately, so forget about the timeline. Like the broken heart, it's over when you stop thinking about it.
 
Discontinuation has a long half-life which yields an ever-thinning timeline that gets fuzzier and fuzzier as time passes and its image drifts off and merges with the horizon. It's up, it's down; it's gone, then it's back; I feel energetic; my muscles are cramped up and my joints hurt; I'm upbeat and full of energy, then I'm anxious and feel like hiding; I'm talkative and coming out, then I'm morose and weeping. It comes and goes. But it fades and fades and fades. You can't alter the timeline, except to make that time more difficult.



Thismoment, described perfectly! Once again,you have such a way
Of explaining things. Thanks!

[TryinginFL]

I'm with you on the Restless Legs Syndrome - I have had it for many years ( way before I even started on the poison) and through this lovely trip to Hell it has worsened and moved to my arms as well.  I take Carbidopa-Levadopa for it and have for years, but I find that sometimes I have to double the dose now.
 

It is just another one of the things I had to begin with, but the poison withdrawal has pushed to the max   

[brzghoff]

Okay so a little update from my side.

 

The continues Dizziness is no longer there, but I have episodes of it. Hot flushes, dizziness and wanting to vomit. I have two or three of those a day now (the last two days). I think I am improving a lot.

 

The calmness inside my head is sooooo nice. I can feel and then know why I feel the way I feel. I had only emotion left and that was general upsetness and agitation to the max. This is what it must feel like to be alive. 

Note: it is not easy though, I know I have a lot of catching up to do, emotions wise but I am gonna face it now. 

 

I had creepy crawlies in my legs and arms at night, but that seems to get better. Did anyone have that too? Another funny one is the hot and cold flushes. I know Serotonine is responsible for regulating body temperature, so that makes sense. 

 

What helps: Taking walks, being amongst people, double dose of omega 3 and Magnesium. 5HTP is there as a back up and I take one before I go to sleep. Ow and nausea medication, had to take one because I was in a lunch meeting and the room started to spin. 

 

I sleep really well now, and don't have crazy nightmares anymore. This is such a huge relief. 

 

I hope that the worst is really over, the rest I can deal with. 

 

When did you really hit the worst moment? Was it the first week or after that?

 

SYtske

glad to see the words "I think I am improving a lot" the words you choose to tell yourself lead the way to your recovery. 

 

creepy crawlies and other strange sensations on the skin are normal. not at all pleasent, but normal.

 

i agree that walks and other not too strenuous activity is helpful as well as being among others - socializing has been very healing for me. i take omega 3 fish oil and gingko biloba daily - it not only helps improve cognitive functioning but i've learned that gingko may help to reduce anxiety if taken regularly. 

 

wish i slept better. i used to sleep great on the C (actually too good). i have a hard time getting to sleep - but not too much trouble staying asleep. 

 

my worst moment? probably most of the moments between week 6 and week 8 - the anxiety was disabling. however, everyone is different. the worst symptoms for some don't even occur in others, and other folks had already gotten over the worst of their symptoms by the time mine kicked in full force. thursday will be 14 weeks off the C for me and i feel i have turned my biggest corner yet! (as she scrambles to find a piece of wood to knock on)

[buntbean2]

I've been able to be amongst friends but I feel like everything I say must sound stupid.  I'm having trouble concentrating and finding the right words.  I cry at anything even slightly sad and then I can quickly progress into an angry, ranting monster.  I don't want the world to know my brain isn't functioning correctly at the moment so I'm not quick to share that I'm going off Cymbalta.  The dizziness is much better today and I slept again.  It seems like a few nights I can't sleep at all and then I have a few that I'm dead out and having very odd dreams.  I have experienced the creepy, crawly legs.  I have Clonazepam to take for anxiety/pain/sleeplessness but I try to use it very sparingly.  My day started out great but this afternoon I experienced extreme anxiety which completely blindsided me.  No real reason for it.  Tonight I was feeling very down on myself and went thru a few Bounty paper towels (I've given up on tissues lol).  My husband has been my best support but others feel that I shouldn't be experiencing anymore withdrawl symptoms because, technically, I'm off the med now.  What I'm experiencing now is worse than when I was tapering down.  I never expected this.

[thismoment]

buntbean2

I'm sorry you're having some low moments. These first weeks off the stuff are rough.

Try not to sever connections with those you need. There is a reason for the anxiety, and while that cause is somewhere in your history, it's not readily identified; put the benzo to work.

I understand how painful it is when we're being judged by others. Is there a way to let them know you need support, not criticism?

Take care.

[fishinghat]

The lack of cognative abilities and feelings of self-doubt are very common during those first few weeks off the cymbalta. It will slowly subside with time.

[buntbean2]

That's really good to know.  I was put on Cymbalta for nerve pain but I was also dealing with anxiety/depression caused from the extreme pain not the other way around.  Now the pain is umm..."managed"...most of the time,  but it seems I am still fighting the anxiety.  I know my husband and young daughter sometimes wonder who it is they're living with right now (2 weeks off today).  I can be dancing, laughing, and playing with my daughter (almost manically) and a few hours later something upsets me and I can have a full blown tantrum.  This IS NOT me!!  I've gone off quite a few medications in the past few years and none of my doctors every warned me of the start up symptoms or the withdrawl symptoms.  I understand they're under pressures to move us in and out and don't have the time they used to have to explain all these things but unless you become your own pharmacist/researcher...good luck!  

[thismoment]

BB2

 

There seems to be something unique in the way rage manifests in C-Discontinuation. It's this: when C-Rage strikes, the moral rudder is ripped off the ship! You don't care about anybody or any thing. It becomes impossible to remember (or care) that your behaviour is forming the mind of your child, shredding your relationships-- and indeed-- creating your own future. C-Rage is all-consuming; I never saw anything like it before C-D. Is it me? Yes it's me, the same way it was me when I used to behave like an asshole when I was drunk.

 

What to do? The rise of C-Rage is steep and virtually instantaneous. I can't remember getting it when I was alone; it was usually with close family who are tolerant (or used to be tolerant and now are only afraid of me). When love turns to fear-- that's a hard bridge to repair, and it will always be a bridge repaired. The only solution is to stop it. There's a very narrow window at the first rising of C-Rage, and I learned to leap in there and de-fuse it. Mindfulness strategies helped me understand the concept of defusing the thoughts in this mind state, but it didn't come easily-- especially with my first few C-Rages which ran amuck, ran wild, and ran off the rails.

 

It's not surprising to any of us when we hear that there's been a shooting and the shooter had recently been on some SS/SNRI.

 

I listened to a lecture by Lawrence Krauss (theoretical physicist, cosmologist-- author of A Universe From Nothing and about 10 other books) who said, "Doctors aren't scientists." People who do research are scientists. Doctors are more like mechanics who monitor, probe, and palpate the machine. Then they cross-reference the symptom within their known database of remedies and pull a can of something off the shelf and say, "Try this." So yes, we have to be our own medical advocates: the physician walks naked beside the emperor-- the pharmaceutical companies are in control, and the physician is an unwitting agent.

 

Sites like this are conduits into that bank of knowledge that was once the domain of the iconic compassionate and all-knowing physician. Networking via the internet is the only way we can learn how to efficiently utilize the medical industry; it's where we can learn to heal ourselves and prevent further exploitation of our bodies for profit.

 

Take care.

[buntbean2]

Thismoment, I'm interested in more about what you wrote when you said, "There's a very narrow window at the first rising of C-Rage, and I learned to leap in there and de-fuse it. Mindfulness strategies helped me understand the concept of defusing the thoughts in this mind state."  What are these mindfulness strategies?  Could you explain them alittle more.

 

I really wish I had listened to my symptoms more and withdrew slower.  I was excited to just get done.  The dizziness was my main issue while I tapered and I figured it was a small (and nauseating) price to pay to finally get off the Cymbalta.  Now the dizziness isn't as bad but my thought process, anxiety, irritability makes me question my sanity at times.  Hopefully things will get better soon.