256 replies to this topic

[FiveNotions]

I also quite willing to factor in what you mention, FH....with the note that the anxiety attack started before I'd been given the Zoloft and before I quit the lunesta...but those could certainly added to the mess....

Anyway, what I'm focusing on now is that I'm back to feeling good, and hopeful, again. And I'm back to being able to identify what I need to do, and take action on it.

And, I've learned yet another hard, but invaluable lesson about cymbalta withdrawal and taking too many meds.... ;-)

[fishinghat]

You have made 3 medicine changes in the last couple weeks so I would suggest you just stay were you are at, Wellbutrin and diazepam. Give yourself a few weeks to adjust to the changes. I have a feeling things will settle down for you.

 

I know that diazepam ruins short-term memory but I don't remember about Wellbutrin. I will check.

[fishinghat]

3.4% of those taking wellbutrin report short-term memory loss. Oh well. Who needs memory anyway?

[Wagtail]

Well everyone I'm confused & anxious .. I was coping ok , not great but bearable.
I am 7 months off Cymbalta & was having bearable days with a few not so good days as well .
I was taking 0.5 mg of Zanax usually @ night before bed, but then stated taking it in the mornings & @ night as well .
I thought I was coping & could cut the Zanax out , so I stopped taking it last Wednesday 6 days ago .
By Sunday I was suffering withdrawel that was very uncomfortable , flushing skin , anxiety , anger , excessive worry & more.
I stayed strong but for the sake of getting some sleep, I took 2 1/2 mg Valium on Sunday night .... I didn't feel anything but slept on & off most of the night until 5am.
Monday morning ( yesterday ) I felt dreadful & was crying so my daughter convinced me to take my usual dose of Zanax to Stabalize until I could get an appointment with a pychologist .
I did this & settled down within the hour.
Last night I took 5 mg of Valium because I thought it would get me through the night & I would wake up calmer.
Well I woke up a couple of times through the night with hot sweats & a feeling of doom / fear.
Then @ 5am I had to get out of bed because I couldn't stand the fear feeling... I just read where fishinghat said , not to take two different benzos @ a time ... OMG what have I done ?.
During my withdrawel , I coped by telling myself that this was withdrawel & the bad feelings would get better but now this isn't working for me ... I don't seem to be able to convince myself & the bad feelings are getting worse..?.
My appointment with the therapist isn't until next Monday... Do I reinstate the Zanax until then ?, even though I am scared of going through the withdrawel .
I have been taking Zanax for emergencies on & off for many years & never had a problem before , I could take a dose but not need another dose for months ...but now it's different .

Is my original illness returning now or can ANYONE convince me that this is still discontinuation & re-wiring of my brain ... What I can't get my head around is, that I was doing so well .... I was CHOSING to be happy & was able to tell myself what was happening to me was all caused from withdrawel ...BUT IT ISNT WORKING ANYMORE & I'M SCARED & CONFUSED.

[fishinghat]

Hi Wagtail. Sorry you are having the problems. If I was you, I would pick which benzo helps the most in this case I guess it is the Zanax. You have a long tract record with this. When you see your psychiatrist be sure to repeat what you just posted. He will probably pick one and have you stick with it.  And wagtail, don't ever just stop taking a benzo cold like that. Even a low dosage and on and off usage. Benzo withdrawal bites. The only exception to this is if you are switching to another benzo then sometimes the dr will stop the first benzo and start the second benzo at the same time.

 

When your dr gave you the valium prescription did he/she tell you to continue taking the Zanax?

 

In any case this is a minor set back (although it probably doesn't feel like that). Once you get your benzos straightened out you should start settling down. Later on when you get feeling better again if you want to wean off the benzo ask your dr how. Then get back on here and run it past us.  Many drs recommend a quick drop. But it isj like most medicines, slower is better. And the withdrawal from benzo is not nearly as bad as Cymbalta.

[Wagtail]

Oh fishinghat I could reach through my iPad & hug you for replying so quickly ... You have made me stronger already just by reading your advice.
I don't have a psychiatrist only got an appointment with a therapist ( pychologist ) ..
yes @ my request my GP was swapping my Zanax for the Valium because I thought it would give me a more level ride. My problem was , that 2 1/2 mg of Valium use to work for me until I changed it for the Xanax 2 1/2 mg originally but I cut that down to 0.5mg & that as enough to settle me down .
The Valium @ 2 1/2 mg did nothing so last night I took 5 mg & felt it work withing 30mins ..I took it @ 8.30pm but it had worn off by 5am .I think I will stick with the 0.5mg Zanax until I get medical help .
I'm very insecure ATM , I seem to have lost my inner STRENGH .
Your support is imperative to me & I am very grateful for your experience .
I think I just needed to hear that I can do this ..... Again ..

If the one month of recovery for every year of taking Cymbalta is true , then I have 3 months to go . This makes me one of the older members on here & I think it was easier when I was amongst many more who were just starting .
Back then I had more in common with everyone else so I didn't feel alone.
Now I'm scared that I might be one of the people who doesn't make it through .
Thanks again for your quick reply , I know I will get through the day now ...:-)))))

[TryinginFL]

I'm out of "likes" again, but I'm with you Wagtail!

[FiveNotions]

Wagtail, if you took action to get the valium based on what I've said here about how well it's working for me, I am mortified and apologetic beyond words! Please please forgive me!

 

Stick with the Xanax, as FH says....it's what helps you .... and as was discussed yesterday, on this thread I think, valium is very much less potent than the other benzos.....why it helps me, I don't know....but, as FH told me above, just stick with it and the Wellbutrin, which I fully intend to do....my little boat doesn't need me rocking it needlessly, it's got enough rough water to navigate as it is ;-)

 

And please don't ever dash off and start or stop anything, med or supplement, without first checking here, especially with our dear sainted Fishinghat, and also with your therapist (which you'll soon have) and talking it through with your doc....although I'm having my doubts about him ATM.....

 

Also, Fishinghat is totally right, don't ever just quit a benzo ....I tried to do that years ago, with Xanax if fact........huge gigantic no no and nope....had to get right back on it and taper soooo slowly ....

 

I'm thrilled you've got the appointment with the therapist! Have someone drive you, and even sit in with you, if it will help you feel calmer and safer....

[FiveNotions]

And, Wagtail, of course you can do this! The anxiety is just so overwhelming and unsettling when it hits, it makes us doubt absolutely everything .... that's what happened to me the week before last when I had the three day anxiety attack....horrid horrid feeling....and I couldn't stop my mind from all the negative self-talk....as soon as I calmed down and stabilized again, voila, no negative self talk and feeling hopeful again ....

 

Yep, I know what you mean! And you are going to get this sorted out ....and now you'll have a therapist to help you do it in a good, positive and manageable way!

[TryinginFL]

Great posts, FN - and all the best to you, Wagtail!   We sure had a day yesterday, didn't we?

[Wagtail]

Fivenotions , don't be sorry it had nothing to do with anything you posted . I was on Valium years ago & it worked for me also but I was convinced to switch to Zanax by a well meaning friend . I have always kept it in my medicine cupboard for emergencies & using it that way I never had a problem with it . I had no idea that it was much stronger than Valium & was shocked to see the comparison chart posted yesterday ... WOW 2mg Valium equals 20 mg Zanax , that blew me away ...
I have gone back to my dose of a quater of 2 mgs of Zanax which if I'm correct is 0.50mgs ..once in the morning & if absolutely needed again before bedtime .
I don't understand why I'm suddenly waking up with unbearable feelings of fear & impending doom .. I haven't experienced these feeling since before I started taking the Cymbalta .
While I was taking Cymbalta I had hardly any anxiety or fear or doom feelings ... The return of these is what has me very scared that my original depression & PTSD is coming back . I'm praying that it's just a relapse & the last ditch attempt from the CRAPALTA trying to scare me into reinstating ..
I hate anyone seeing me like this, so insecure & housebound ..I'm usually the strong one in the family , the life of all the parties ..going off Cymbalta has brought me to my knees literally ...
Your responses to my cries for support is what's keeping me going ....:-)))

[Wagtail]

And, Wagtail, of course you can do this! The anxiety is just so overwhelming and unsettling when it hits, it makes us doubt absolutely everything .... that's what happened to me the week before last when I had the three day anxiety attack....horrid horrid feeling....and I couldn't stop my mind from all the negative self-talk....as soon as I calmed down and stabilized again, voila, no negative self talk and feeling hopeful again ....
 
Yep, I know what you mean! And you are going to get this sorted out ....and now you'll have a therapist to help you do it in a good, positive and manageable way!

FN , I have used up all my likes .... So LIKE LIKE LIKE ... Thank you for the affirmation that I'm not the only one ..xx

[thismoment]

Wagtail

 

"Now I'm scared that I might be one of the people who doesn't make it through."

 

You're going to make it through if I have to come to Australia and pull you through by your feet!

 

Not all of your Cymbalta Alma Mater made it through-- more than a few have found themselves on another SSRI. As I (and fishinghat and FiveNotions) have said-- get control of the anxiety. You will feel a lot better when you have the benzo musical chairs sorted out.

 

Hang in there!

[thismoment]

Wagtail

 

I understand how the feeling that your depression and PTSD are coming back, and how anxiety pushes that thought right into the front of your mind. We both know that depression and PTSD are managed, not eradicated. The biggest part of managing those two is by keeping the anxiety down!

 

Every living thing in the universe will encounter doom one day, and beyond that nobody knows. Therefore my dear Wagtail, grasp what is right in front of you-- your spirit, your health, the self beyond your family, your home, your beautiful continent and country. And  in time this journey will drift in as a solitary thought; the names from this forum will emerge as a string of pearl bubbles upon the serene pond of your memory, and you'll be the person you kept inside.

 

And you'll sense this time as a spectre of the past that holds no power over you. And (the) ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong. . .

[tria]

Wagtail - I'm sorry for what you're going thru!  I agree with all the advice everyone has posted here.  You may have upset your system by stopping the Xanax then throwing Valium into the mix.  Try not to panic over the return of the fear and impending doom feelings.  It may very well be temporary, and you are doing all you can to manage it at the moment.  I've had the "impending doom" feeling on and off for years and also deal with anxiety.  Like you, I usually wake up with the feelings which is an awful way to start the day! Do whatever you have to in order to get thru those feelings because they WILL pass, and you WILL get thru this. No matter whether you feel you can convince yourself or not, you know these feelings aren't logical. Sometimes they get out of control, but you know there is a way to manage them. Remind yourself that you have dealt with them before and made it thru!  Hang in there and do whatever you need to to take care of yourself!!  When I can't calm myself down, I do the opposite.. I let myself shake, cry, sob, scream... whatever helps to get the feelings out of my system if I can.  Also, I have several tv shows on DVD that I watch, often over and over.  As long as I'm laying on the couch staring mindlessly at the tv, my anxiety/fear levels drop considerably. 

 

Hang in there!!

[TryinginFL]

Wagtail...

 

How are you feeling today?  How is the anxiety and depression?

 

Unfortunately,  I have been having these feelings more today than yesterday.  I have an appt to see both my therapist and pcp on Thursday afternoon - will be a long day, but need to get some help here.  I am so tired of feeling so down and the anxiety continues in waves...

 

You are in my thoughts and prayers, dear friend,

Liz

[FiveNotions]

Oh, TFL, I am so sorry! :-(

Does this mean you're taking the alprazolam and now it's not working?

Thank goodness you've got the appointments this Thursday! I just wish you had someone to drive you there....any neighbors you could ask? I don't suppose Dundee has taxi service, does it?

[Wagtail]

Good morning TFL , I'm battling this morning with that dreadful feeling of doom / fear , I hate it because I don't know what it is exactly !.
I think it's a form of anxiety ?.
I wake many times during the night with it but I don't know if the feeling wakes me or if I wake & then get the feeling .
Also I don't know if it's the remaining stored Cymbalta in my body/fat that is causing it , but whatever it is it is horrible & hard to cope with .
My first appointment with my new pychologist isn't until Monday so I need to tolerate it until then , I don't have any choice.
I try to tell myself that it's just a feeling & can't harm me but my body won't listen anymore & responds with tingling extremities , flushing skin & fear .
I re-instated my Zanax yesterday In the am & pm , I've never had to rely on it before & just took it when I REALLY needed it but this feels more like I'm dependent on it & that scares me too .
7 months into my journey & for this to happen now has taken away my determination & STRENGH that I had in abundance during my withdrawel .
I need to find a way to get that back so I can't fight this new affliction.
Enough about me , how are you traveling ATM , what are you coping with today ?. Maybe we can swap strategies lol .
:-))

[TryinginFL]

Hi FN...

 

I am taking the Alprazolam but am taking the full RX as before I could get by on only 1 mg a day at times.  I took one tab (1mg) late this am (I actually made it to my Aqua Fitness class which is less than a 10 min. drive), but was feeling very down and weepy when I came home.  Took a nap this afternoon and woke up still feeling down.

 

I just took 1/2 tab. and we'll see...saving other 1/2 for bedtime.

 

I feel that I am going downhill instead of up - can't figure it out..

 

Drs are more than 20 miles away so could never afford a taxi  - so far, I can drive ok 

 

Thanks for your prompt response!

[TryinginFL]

Wagtail, I have been experiencing the same tingling and doom feelings.  I can only compare it to when I was first coming off this poison - it's terrible!  And I hate the wanting to cry part - yuck!  I've already been there...

 

Please don't feel alone - I'm right there with you...

[FiveNotions]

Wagtail and TFL.....don't panic about the panic..subject to input from FH and TM...I think you need to let yourselves.take the benzos, don't even think twice about the physical dependency thing....if that were to be an issue, it is not to be dealt with now!

Again, subject to what FH and TN say, my thought is that the only thing that matters right now is to take the benzos, and keep them in your system at a reasonably steady level....remember the shorter half life FH and TM told us about...my thought is that.this is the best way to manage the anxiety until you can get to your respective appointments and get some professional insight. You can discuss the benzos then, and express your concerns....

TFL has an appointment with her doc and her therapist.

Wagtail, you have an appointment with your therapist. What about one with the doc who prescribes the benzo? Maybe you need to get there as well, as soon as you can...insist if necessary, even do a walk in ....?

[thismoment]

TFL and Wagtail

 

FN is right. The recommendation to take the benzodiazepine "as needed" means just that: If you need it most of the day to keep the anxiety away then so be it. Deal with the benzo another day! Taking the benzo will enable you to deal with the benzo another day. Otherwise it's just too nasty- nobody needs to tolerate anxiety.

 

That feeling of doom-- Terror Without a Cause-- smack it down!

 

Take care.

[Wagtail]

FN & TM , thanks for replying so quickly it must be late evening over there..

I don't really have a good doctor since I moved , the one that I'm seeing is very young & new to the area like me. I'm worried that if he thinks I'm taking the Zanax regularly he will be concerned & stop prescribing it for me.
I'm also concerned that he will try to talk me into going back on some type of anti depressant , what else can he do for me ?.
Oh dear this sucks doesn't it !...:-(

[FiveNotions]

I'd also add, again subject to what TM and FH think, that at this point, both of you have struggled more than enough to control the anxiety with just a benzo....

it may well be time to allow yourselves to consider going on a different ssri....yes, as TM and FH have explained, they all have their own particular types of withdrawal and possible side effects....I don't believe any of them are as evil as cymbalta.....

The constant unrelenting anxiety,and the ups and downs it brings, is tearing you both apart...you can't continue to heal and get stable in the cymbalta withdrawal with this going on.....starting a different ssri is NOT in any way a failure or a sign of weakness....it means you recognize that your body needs more serotonin than it is able to provide for itself.....

You are both success stories...you've gotten off cymbalta...something that not very many people have been able to do!

your bodies need rest....they aren't getting it now...and haven't been for some time....this leaves you fragile, and open to other illnesses...hell, stuff like the flu, colds, you name it....

I assure you, if I'm not able to manage my anxiety, and if I prove myself wrong that most of it is due to all the messes I have to clean up and needing to get a part time job (while filing for ssdi).....I will start up on a new ssri....perhaps even the Zoloft that I decided I don't really need just now.....I want to be able to enjoy the post cymbalta life I have now....not limp through it as walking wounded ;-)

[FiveNotions]

Wagtail, make an appointment with your doctor....your fears aren't rational, dear one....just explain to him fully what you're dealing with...and, subject to what your therapist suggests, if need be, start a new ssri.....your stubbornness is hurting you...badly....please stop punishing yourself, you haven't done anything wrong to deserve this kind of punishment....

Please listen to reason here, I love you and care about you!

[Wagtail]

FN, I hear your concern but because all Ssri come with such horrible s/e's it terrifies me to take them . My new doctor noted when reading through my medical records , that I had a reaction to a Ssri ... I don't remember what it was, because when I started taking them over ten years ago , they tried me on a few before I settled on the Cymbalta . I should have kept a record of what I had taken but I didn't think to do that .
My elder daughter suffered from post natal depression & was prescribed antidepressants which caused her to be suicidal , I think it was either Zoloft or Effexor .
So you see , the though of going down this road terrifies me .
I am going to call the pychologist to see if they can get me in before Monday .. If they can't I will just have to bear it .
I appreciate your advice & just talking to you makes me stronger ... I can feel your genuine concern & for that ai can't thank you enough .
Xxx

[fishinghat]

FN & TM , thanks for replying so quickly it must be late evening over there..

I don't really have a good doctor since I moved , the one that I'm seeing is very young & new to the area like me. I'm worried that if he thinks I'm taking the Zanax regularly he will be concerned & stop prescribing it for me.
I'm also concerned that he will try to talk me into going back on some type of anti depressant , what else can he do for me ?.
Oh dear this sucks doesn't it !...:-(

It is more than likely he will start with adjusting your benzo but there are other drugs to help with anxiety besides antidepressants and benzos. There is hydroxyzine, clonidine (a very good choice) and even atenolol.

[thismoment]

Wagtail

 

Try not to imagine futures with bad endings- like what your doctor may be thinking, or the road you might be heading down. Talk to your doctor from the heart (which really means from the most truthful and open part of your mind). Give your near future a chance to unfold, and judge it as you go. Fishinghat has proposed some alternative medications to benzodiazepines or another SSRI. If you can control the anxiety, that will surely give you peace.

 

My deepest issue is anxiety- I know that life only exists after anxiety. If I encountered anxiety again- to the extent I once had it- I would not hesitate to do whatever to get it down, including being addicted to the medication. Not an issue.

[tria]

Wagtail & TFL - Everyone has already posted such good advice, I'll just add hang in there! You will get thru this! Sometimes it helps me to think of all I've been thru in the past, and remind myself that I've always come thru it and this time will be no different.  fishinghat had some great med suggestions.  I also take clonidine, for 2 reasons.  I have neuralgia in my face, extremely painful and the clonidine helped a great deal with that so it may be a good choice if you're dealing with pain as well.  I also take it for blood pressure. If you do try it, stock up on prunes, trust me    Another bp drug that may help is Inderal, I don't know the generic name.  I tried this for my bp and it worked and I also generally felt better while on it, but my hands and feet got so cold I couldn't tolerate it.  A shame because it did help my anxiety. I believe this drug is in the same class as the atenolol that fishinghat mentioned.  FYI - my doc told me the extended release version of Inderal is better tolerated than the regular. (I only got painfully cold feet with the extended release.)

[Wagtail]

Ok everyone I took your advice & managed to get in& see my doctor ( GP ) ..
We had a long chat & discussed all that was happening to me & the advice that you had all given me. He was very open to everything & willing to talk about it .
He is not surprised at all that we are all suffering from these dreadful s/e's , he is very aware of the lies that the drug companies tell . We discussed the three different medications that our great friend & savior FishingHat recommended for me .
We decided on the Clonidine tablets 100 micrograms to take twice daily .
He also gave me a script for Lorazepam 1mg to take 1/2 to 1 tablet daily if required . He thinks that it's a far better choice than the Zanax seeing that my fear is addiction & another withdrawel .
I will wait until f/h or one of you come back with your thoughts before I take either of these.
Someone mentioned that the Clonidine can cause constipation , any views on this please ... Or advice ?.
Thanks to you all I have made it through another day ...GOD BLESS EACH & everyone of you !...xxxxx