256 replies to this topic

[Amybc7]

While I am not taking any benzos, a dear friend of mine encouraged a visit to a psychiatric nurse.  I complained that I just wanted one doctor who could do it all and do it well (with pixies, unicorns, and rainbows! HA!).  She explained it as such - while you may have a mechanic that you trust - that tends to all your vehicle needs - and is excellent....you may not want him as your childcare provider or your housekeeper or your veterinarian.  Different people for different things.

 

Of course - she made a great point and I still didn't follow her advice at the time....so I'm just talking to talk.  

[Wagtail]

I know how you feel Liz , I am withdrawing from 0.50 mg of Zanax & today is day 5 of zero Zanax..... Last night I took 2 1/2 mg Valium & didn't feel any relief .
Today I feel dreadful & thinking I might need to take some Zanax to settle me down ...the Valium isn't as strong as the Zanax ...
Hoping to get appointment with a psychologist ASAP ...this is the first time I can't self talk in 7 months .
Dissapointed ....:-((

[TryinginFL]

Oh, Wagtail....what a mess we are!   I feel like I am about to climb the walls and cannot talk to anyone...

[Wagtail]

Oh, Wagtail....what a mess we are!   I feel like I am about to climb the walls and cannot talk to anyone...

Oh yes me too , I just gave in & took 0.5 mg Zanax .. I will seek an appointment with a new psychologist today & hopefully I will get in quickly .
I am so disappointed because I have been through the worst of the Cymbalta withdrawel & thought I would stop taking the low dose of Zanax just 0.5 mg a day & occasionally twice a day during the past few months of my Cymbalta withdrawel .
I have taken this dose on a " when needed basis " for many years with no problem so I am shocked that I was experiencing withdrawel symptoms after only a short time of regular use.
It's 5 days today & I couldn't stand the s/e's any longer ... I guess that suffering for 7 months from Cymbalta withdrawel / discontinuation syndrome has weakend me.

All my coping techniques have deserted me , my self talk isn't working & I'm overwhelmed & frightened that after 7 months the depression / anxiety that I was taking the Cymbalta for have returned . I will refuse to take another antidepressant but @ my age I need to be functional so I can participate in living my life with my family .
I feel like they are also running out of patience & compassion so I need to be stronger & do this myself .
My gut instinct is to pack a bag & just get into my car & drive & drive .. to somewhere where I don't feel like a bourden to my husband & family .

[TryinginFL]

Wagtail, your feelings mirror mine exactly.  I can't believe this is happening.  Maybe I should just take one of my 1 mg Zanax that I was taking until last night to get relief - this is just as bad as the Crapalta withdrawal - and in 1 day!  I agree the Valium takes longer to get in the system and now I am torn between taking more of that or going back to the Zanax - I will have to call the Dr. tomorrow.  If I can't sleep tonight either, I swear I will lose my mind.

[fishinghat]

Oh TFL, what a mess. I assume your prescription is for 2 mg diazepam. Normal dosage to induce sleep is 5 to 10 mg.  What is the prescription strength on your hydroxyzine?

[fishinghat]

Oh TFL, what a mess. I assume your prescription is for 2 mg diazepam. Normal dosage to induce sleep is 5 to 10 mg.  What is the prescription strength on your hydroxyzine?

 

And by the way Gail is right on the equivalency of zanax to diazepam. I will be posting a table in a few minutes that can be used to compare benzo strength.

 

http://www.non-benzo...quivalents.html

[TryinginFL]

FH - I don't have any hydroxyzine - only 1 mg Alprazolam tabs

[Wagtail]

TFL, maybe you could try 1/2 of a tablet just to take the edge off & settle you down just a little so you can think more clearly ?...I am here for you if you need someone to just chat with .. Xx

[TryinginFL]

I had asked for the Diazepam in place of the Xanax - for anxiety I thought.  Last nite I only took the 2 mg Diazepam at bedtime and then I took another 12 hrs later - 7 hrs ago now and still have no relief.  This is one of the worst anxiety attacks I have had...

[TryinginFL]

Thank you, Wagtail...

 

I broke down and took 1/2 an Alprazolam - couldn't take it any more.  I really feel that I am losing it

[fishinghat]

OOPs My mistake. You said you took a hydrocodone at 5:30 and I read hydroxyzine. Normal diazepam dose for moderate anxiety is 2 to 5 mg every 4 hours. For severe anxiety is 5 to 10 mg every 3 to 4 hours. A dose of 2 mg every 12 hours is worthless. And 2 mg for sleep is worthless.

[Wagtail]

Thank you, Wagtail...
 
I broke down and took 1/2 an Alprazolam - couldn't take it any more.  I really feel that I am losing it

You're not losing it put that idea right out of your mind , playing around with mood altering medication can play havoc on our thinking .
We all know how scary it can be & how vulnerable it makes us . I'm sitting here waiting for the surgery to open so I can call for an appointment .
I will make a deal with you ... You hang in there & so will I ...we will sort through this with the help of our wonderful friends on here .. We will get through this & there are better days ahead for us both .
I will let you know how I go as soon as I can get through to the office.
I have settled down a little since I relented & took the Zanax .. You will too soon , just relax & do your breathing exercises .. Watch tv & feel my hand holding yours from across the ocean ... Be back later ...xx

[TryinginFL]

Did Dr. mean for me to take Diazepam in ADDITION to the Alprazolam then?  This was done thru his office over the phone - I never spoke w/him.  Now I'm really confused...

 

I had said that I was not getting enough relief from the Alprazolam and the RX for the Diazepam is for 2mg at bedtime

[fishinghat]

No you don't take two different benzos at the same time. BUT he is an idiot for prescribing 2 mg at bed time for sleep. That might be enough to put a small cat asleep but not a human.

[TryinginFL]

I'm out of "likes" again, but I liked your post, Wagtail...

 

I can feel your hand...

[Wagtail]

OOPs My mistake. You said you took a hydrocodone at 5:30 and I read hydroxyzine. Normal diazepam dose for moderate anxiety is 2 to 5 mg every 4 hours. For severe anxiety is 5 to 10 mg every 3 to 4 hours. A dose of 2 mg every 12 hours is worthless. And 2 mg for sleep is worthless.

Thank you FH ... I had no idea that Valium was that much weaker than Zanax ... No wonder the 2 mg I took last night didn't help me .
My daughter insisted I take something until I can get help .. I am so stubborn & so desperate to be rid of all drugs that I resisted her pleas .
I have a feeling that I am going to need your support for a while longer my dear friend ... You are my lifeline ..:-)

[TryinginFL]

FH - I am going back on the Alprazolam then and will call him tomorrow to say I don't want to take the Diazepam.  Hope this doesn't mess me up with my orig RX for the A.

 

I just took the other half

[fishinghat]

Hang in there TFL and Wagtail. You will get it all worked, You just need to train your drs. lol

[TryinginFL]

Thank you, FH

 

You have helped immensely!

[TryinginFL]

Wagtail...

 

I am already starting to feel better - how are you doing? 

[FiveNotions]

Well, count me befuddled....I've settled in with 1 mg Valium every 12 hours....and the anxiety is well under control....I don't feel the ups and downs that I had with the lorazepam...which I only took occasionally.....

Am I just extremely sensitive to diazepam....I keep saying Valium, but it's the diazepam that I have....

I just read the chart FH posted....and what's working for me just doesn't square with it....

Maybe I've got another placebo effect going....?

[gail]

No you don't take two different benzos at the same time. BUT he is an idiot for prescribing 2 mg at bed time for sleep. That might be enough to put a small cat asleep but not a human.

 

My thoughts exactly, an idiot! or someone who just does not care!

[fishinghat]

Well this is what makes medicine so interesting. The variation in how people react to different doses of meds drive drs crazy. FN is just sensative to the Diazepam and I dare say that TFL is probably the only person in the world that can take a benzo 20 years and it still work for her. (That one really shocked me! lol). I make comments on here all the time but the truth is they should all come with a disclaimer. I should say 'usually this happens' or typically that happens' but the bottom line we The patient has to be responsible for oour own health. We make the final decision.I remember when the dr tried prozac on me for the first time. He started low at 5 mg and I thought why is he playing with this. When it didn't show any signs of working after 3 weeks. He went to 10 and 3 weeks later 20 and finally 30. Nothing, so I spent around 10 weeks waiting for it to kick in when in truth it was like taking a sugar pill. I (falsely) was mad at him for making me suffer for that long for nothing. I did calm down and relized it wasn't his fault. Tens of thousands of people go on prozac with fine results. I just am not one of them. lol  Look at Cymbalta. I was on it for 5 years with excellant control of anxiety with virtually no side effects. How many on here have said that? Not many.

 

So drs are coachs. Giving advice based on the norm and hope the patient is normal. If we are not then when something goes wrong we have to strongly bring this to the drs attention. He he understandshe is a good dr, if he doesn't listen you need a new dr.

[FiveNotions]

Okay, I've been mulling over the improvement of my sleep and control of my anxiety in context of the addition of what I've now learned is a tiny dose of diazepam....

Here's what I now believe to have happened .... I had an almost three day anxiety attack the week before last, starting Wednesday night....not only did I start on 2 mg diazepam on Friday, but I stopped taking the lunesta 3 mg that I'd been taking for 3-4 weeks nightly prior to that (because my rx had run out and the refill wasn't available for three days...I'd clearly used too much in that month, likely forgot and took it twice in an evening given that my memory ain't working great).....

I even had a full day of Lunesta withdrawal.

As FH has pointed out in this thread and elsewhere, over time lunesta can stop helping, and actually hurt sleep. The body also build up tolerance, and CT discontinuation can cause withdrawal.

I think my sleep improvement is likely due primarily to getting off the lunesta and getting it out of my system.

Perhaps the diazepam tiny dose is helping too, but I'm going to leave that out of the equation....if it's a placebo, I can live fine with that...if I'm ultra sensitive...a special little diazepam snowflake, and tiny doses work, I can live with that, too...

I'm also considering the possibility that the lorazepam had stopped working....remember, I had a very serious addiction to alprazolam about 10 years ago....it stopped working then, and the doc let me keep taking more...I was up to as much as 12 mg a day, possibly more...and it took me two years to get off....

Once again, the lesson for me in all this is that we are each special little snowflakes, and one size definitely does not fit all! :-D

[fishinghat]

Well said FN. Maybe because we are snowflakes it is easy for us to have meltdowns.  OOHHHH that was bad. lol

 

How long you been on the lorazepam?

[FiveNotions]

I was given an rx for lorazepam, just 15 pills, back in March....took just several....then, about a month ago (I shld have kept notes, but didn't), as my post cymbalta mind started clearing and I began having chunks of memory returning...with the realization I hadn't filed taxes for four years, done all that weird online shopping, and on and on, I started taking it almost daily...

I'd feel great as soon as it hit, then slide right back down ....that's when I started taking lunesta every night....

I'd run out about a few days before the anxiety attack the week before last......

So perhaps I also had some lorazepam withdrawal happening as well....

And, the idiot put me on sertraline the Friday before last, 6/6....I took four 50 mg doses, then cut back and got off it in four days....

The fewer meds for me the better.

[FiveNotions]

And clearly my sense of time passing is shot to hell....the anxiety attack started on 6/6, not last week....I've gone back and edited the recent post I made referring to last week....

Yet more damage to my brain from cymbalta and withdrawal....

[fishinghat]

That lorazepam usage shouldn't be an issue with your sleep. It was on and off over the 4 months and none in about a month. Stopping it may have contribute to your anxiety attack since 6/6 but I doubt it. Just too little usage. Having said that there have been isolated cases where people have withdrawal after one pill but that is very rare. It sounds more like it is from coming off the zoloft but that is awful quick for the withdrawal symptoms to hit for an ssri with that long a half life.

 

But lets look at this...

You just came off lunesta

You just came off zoloft

You just came off lorazepam

Hmmm, I wonder why the anxiety?  (he said sarcastically). lol

 

What, other than the diazepam are you taking right now?

[FiveNotions]

FH,

wellbutrin XL 300 mg, which has worked fine for years as long as it's the brand...my depression, as I've said before, seems to be the dopamine deficient kind....

(I had nightmare reactions to the generic, bupropion, back in 2005, when I ended up in the hospital with uncontrolled projectile vomiting, and in 2007, when I had a psychotic episode and ended up in the snake farm....for at least overnight, but it could have been several days...I have zero recollection....)

Diazepam, 2 mg a day, which I take in 1 mg doses, 12 hours apart.....

My usual supplements, vitamin, fish oil, magnesium, b complex....

I believe that the anxiety tailspin was building, and finally blew up related to my returning chunks of memory, and the overwhelming reaction I've had to what I've remembered...failure to file taxes, spending thousand of dollars doing weird online shopping, the extent to which I was drinking, old cat poop in the closet, months of unwashed laundry, and a number of deeply damaged relationships I caused.....

In addition, I started recognizing the extent of the damage to my cognitive functions....I can't even read a bus schedule correctly now, I keep missing my subway stop for my apartment building, I can't read out loud well anymore, I mispronounce words...on and on...and more to come most likely....

My already fragile circuits just plain overloaded and fried out....I just collapsed in shame and horror, and despair at how I can find a way to make these things right when I can't even find good medical and psych help....

The diazepam is helping me stay stable and to begin to work through these things, one at a time, with some degree of priority...and to begin to reach out to reconnect with a couple of friends and to start attending NA meetings.