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Posted 04 December 2014 - 05:24 PM
Yes Brz. That is what the audiologist said. They are doing the other tests to make sure nothing physical is causing this.
I'm not looking forward to the treatment for it. They basically need to desensitize me to sound by exposing me to sounds.
I don't even listen to music anymore. This sounds like torture. 
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Posted 07 December 2014 - 11:29 AM
Feeling happy!
Probably shouldn't have done this, but Today's Special Value on HSN is lovely leather bag - 5 easy pays with HSN card of only 15.99!! Beautiful - my Christmas gift to me 
Since I am close to a year off the crap (will be the middle of Jan.), I needed the boost! 
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Posted 07 December 2014 - 11:35 AM
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Posted 07 December 2014 - 11:39 AM
Do you get the HSN channel there? If you love bags, you would love this - price is fabulous! Many colors, but my choice was cappucino - goes with everything and great for Florida!
Check it out if you can! Has 22 compartments and is 14 inches by 11 inches - not huge, nice size.
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Posted 07 December 2014 - 02:59 PM
God-like
Posted 09 December 2014 - 09:20 AM
Hello forum friends, I'm just checking in to post a positive ... and then "fly away again" to my two jobs ... I think I've become what ThisMoment termed a "drive-by poster" ... although TM was referring to some of those nuts (bots?) we were getting for a while posting goofy sports-related things ... anyway ... as of midnight this past Sunday, I counted up ... I had worked/billed 74 hours in 7 days last week ... that is amazing ... and it was exhausting ... and I'm definitely feeling it today ... 
Yet it is proof positive that there is life after crapalta ... and one of the many lessons I'm learning from all this work is this ... pushing/forcing myself to do it has been very, very good for me ... now, I'm speaking only for me ... don't run out and try this just cuz I said something positive about "pushing/forcing" ... but, in looking back over the past year at my own recovery from Cymbalta, I see now that I had started to let myself fall into the "permanent pity pot" ... "I can't do it" ... "I'll never get better" .... sort of mind-set ... and I was beginning to adopt that as "me" ...
Well, it's not me. .... I have learned that I can do a hell of a lot more, and better, than I had been doing post cymbalta ... and, I have learned that I cannot do all that I had been able to do before Cymbalta ... so, this has been both a challenge and a reality check for me ... sorting out what my "deficits" are (and may remain), and exploring what my life can be ... what I can still do ...
My cognitive functioning has definitely improved ... I'm re-learning to think/analyze ... and my speech and thought articulation has returned almost completely ... I still don't have much/any memory of the years I was on Cymbalta ... that may be permanent, if so, fine ... they weren't great years anyway ...
My physical strength and stamina has improved remarkably ... I am exhausted, yes ... but I haven't had one of my "total collapse" episodes in over a month ... 
Yes, I still have that "delightful" residual post-crapalta anxiety ... it is the worst in the mornings, and sometimes wakes me up in the middle of the night ... but the clonidine is still working to take care of most of it ... and what is "left over" I have learned to accept, sort of "make friends with it" ... and to keep going/moving/doing ... even as I'm feeling it ... knowing that it's my brain "mis-firing" ... that's the big key, for me at least, to accepting it and not letting it stop me ... it's not "real" / objective ... it's "surreal" / out of my control ... and the more I work through it, accept it, live with it and keep moving, the more it fades ... this is, I think, part of re-training and re-wiring my brain ... I've been forced to break out of the "habit" of anxiety ... and breaking the pattern, forming new, healthier, habits/patterns, is helping me ...
So, my positive for today, for the past 6 weeks, is this ... do not give up ... do not let this drug, or any drug, beat you into submission ... fight it, fight yourself ... the part of yourself that says "I can't" ... "I'll never be able to" ... "the drug won" ...
And, do not ever, ever again blindly trust a doc who says "take this pill, it'll fix everything" ...
My job for the blind grad student involves reading/recording massive amounts of materials about neuropsychology ... the brain, how it functions, and the neural underpinnings of depression, anxiety, OCD, fibro ...all the "conditions" and "issues" that ended us up on Cymbalta and all these other drugs ....
and what I'm learning is that the docs/researchers don't have a freaking clue ... they do the testing on mice, rats and monkeys (Lord, how I hate that) ... then they "apply" what they learn to humans ... and the drug cos come up with drugs that seem to work on the lab animals ... and then they "apply" them to us ...
Half the "conditions" that we here have been "diagnosed" with are pure creations ... out of thin air ... by drug cos and the psychiatrists ... to market/use the drugs that have been invented ...
Crapalta ... duloxetine ... was invented ... and then they found "conditions" that it could be "applied to" ...
We have been used ... are being used ... as lab rats ...
I refuse to participate in any more of their experiments ... positively!! This "lab rat" has gone on permanent strike ...
Care to join me? 
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Posted 09 December 2014 - 09:49 AM
I would love to join you. Too bad I have already been sucked into the trap.
I have a cascade of Rx drugs which each need to be discontinued with a doctors supervision.
I'm putting a lot of hope into my new PCP (I have only met her once) that she will find a way to help me control my pain level with minimal drrugs
God-like
Posted 09 December 2014 - 10:02 AM
Renee, you can get off these drugs ... and you will !!!
you may need to stay on one, two, or several of them ... no all drugs are bad ... many do help us ... it's just a question of finding out the ones that do help, and then taking the fewest number of drugs, at the lowest possible doses.... and it takes time to work through all this ... you've got a long list, yes ... and yet, look at what you've accomplished already ... you're down to 11 from 14, if I recall an earlier post ... that is huge !!!!
When are you meeting with the new doc again? Does she understand your desire to get the meds (number and doses) under control, and minimized?
God-like
Posted 09 December 2014 - 10:16 AM
PS Renee ... I totally spaced on getting you the info on hemp oil sources ... I couldn't find anything on my own that I trusted ... but they do sell it through Amazon.com, and there are lots of customer/user reviews there ... so check that out...
BUT ... a big warning ... I did find research indicating that it interacts with a lot of medications ... so, you must talk to your doc about using it ... seriously, it could cause more harm than good ... so please please be careful, and talk to her about absolutely everything you take ... the key to getting off the meds, and controlling the pain is this .... time .... and patience ....
And, another key thing ... remember how much incredible progress you have made already ... and are continuing to make ... it's a little-by-little, moment-by-moment process ... we didn't end up on these meds overnight ... and, we can't get off them overnight ... (damn, wouldn't that be wonderful ... but, "overnight" to me means "cold turkey" ... nope nope nope ... never again)
You are a remarkable source of inspiration and hope, Renee ... you add so much to this forum ... because you never give up ... yeah, you feel like giving up at times, maybe you even think you have given up at times ... but you never really do give up ... because you have such a deep love for life, and for the others in your life who you take care of ... don't ever forget that about yourself!!! 
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Posted 09 December 2014 - 10:16 AM
Oh FN, I so needed your positive post this am! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Been wrestling with getting outside my little volunteer job and working pt, just can't get it all together! Dang it, still wrestling with no appetite, weight loss, brain farts, you name it, but your post today is helping me to realize I CAN do this !!!! Hugs and prayers!
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Posted 09 December 2014 - 10:18 AM
YES YES YES!!!!!
FiveNotions:
love to hear that, and don't be concerned about being a "drive by", the idea of getting off cymbalta and participating in this forum is about getting our life back. the more we are doing for ourselves out in "the world" means we won't have as much time here. once we feel that improvement and spend more time away living in the present what is important is the quality of what we share in our posts, not the quantity of posts we make. how can we help newbies if we aren't moving forward ourselves? when we were spending a lot of time on this forum, searching for answers and seeking support - we extracted much wisdom from others - those who are where we had been in the past, those who are right where we are in the present and those who had been where we are. personally, it was instrumental for me to spend a lot of time here in the beginnning. i know my questions helped other newbies who felt the same way (just as their questions helped me) - and those questions resulted in answers from those more knowledgable - people like you! additionally, i learn from those who are now where i was at one time. it reveals to me how far i've come, and enables me to share with others and hopefully provide for them what i learned from those who have gone before me as well as what i have learned on my own. this is a journey of self discovery.
most importantly you have shared what i believe to be the key to our recovery:
in looking back over the past year at my own recovery from Cymbalta, I see now that I had started to let myself fall into the "permanent pity pot" ... "I can't do it" ... "I'll never get better" .... sort of mind-set ... and I was beginning to adopt that as "me" ...
Well, it's not me. .... (bold emphasis mine)
"Yes, I still that "delightful" residual post-crapalta anxiety ... it is the worst in the mornings, and sometimes wakes me up in the middle of the night ... but the clonidine is still working to take care of most of it ... and what is "left over" I have learned to accept, sort of "make friends with it" ... and to keep going/moving/doing ... even as I'm feeling it ... knowing that it's my brain "mis-firing" ... that's the big key, for me at least, to accepting it and not letting it stop me ... it's not "real" / objective ... it's "surreal" / out of my control ... and the more I work through it, accept it, live with it and keep moving, the more it fades ... this is, I think, part of re-training and re-wiring my brain ... I've been forced to break out of the "habit" of anxiety ... and breaking the pattern, forming new, healthier, habits/patterns, is helping me ...
So, my positive for today, for the past 6 weeks, is this ... do not give up ... do not let this drug, or any drug, beat you into submission ... fight it, fight yourself ... the part of yourself that says "I can't" ... "I'll never be able to" ... "the drug won't" ...
your post is very inspiring to me and provides hope as i embark on my journey to find employment, or at the very least get involved as a volunteer for a non profit. i need a way to contribute my talents towards something meaningful to me and beneficial to others.
from the bottom of my heart,
thank you
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Posted 09 December 2014 - 10:19 AM
Hang in there, Renee! We'll all make it through this! You've got my prayers and support!
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Posted 14 December 2014 - 10:17 AM
A positive for today - I saw my Cardinals again! I hear them every day, but don't always see them..
A wonderful sign for me, as only my oldest son will be here for Christmas (yep, just the 2 of us!), so I am happy that the rest of the family is here to lift my spirits!
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Posted 14 December 2014 - 12:49 PM
Yay, TFL! I love watching birds. Have a few cardinals here, along with wrens, titmice, chickadees, towhees, catbirds and more! Have a blessed Sunday!
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Posted 14 December 2014 - 03:18 PM
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Posted 14 December 2014 - 06:34 PM
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Posted 14 December 2014 - 07:55 PM
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Posted 19 December 2014 - 03:14 PM
i hear ya there TFL! one of the best things about coming off the C, weight, down! blood pressure, down! cholesterol, down!
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Posted 19 December 2014 - 08:33 PM
OK. My last "positive" is today's positive!
My daughter should be here in 30 minutes!
This has been the longest week of my life.
My husband is the best. If you don't know what we have been going through, my husband had to cut a business trip short so that he could fly down to the Virgin Islands to get our daughter. She has been there for a month with an abusive boyfriend and her alcoholism is out of control. We have a long road ahead of us, but I am so relieved that she well be safely home tonight.
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Posted 24 December 2014 - 10:42 AM
I was just talking with a friend about where I was last year this time ... compared to this year ... and it seemed more than worthy of a post in our "Positives" thread ...
Last year this time I was about 19 days into hard, cold turkey withdrawal ... I was overwhelmed with vertigo and nausea, confined almost totally to bed, and crawling to the bathroom to puke ... at one point, I just took my blanket and pillow in there and slept/lay curled up on the floor (less far to travel) ... I was unable to eat any solid foods, not even crackers ... and was living on broth and herb tea and water (didn't make for much to puke up, but I still did) ...
I was having constant muscle spasms, and had a couple of seizures (at least I assume that's what they were, I just blacked out and woke up on the floor) ... I was having auditory and visual hallucinations, constant cold, dripping sweats, and horrid general body aches and pains .... couldn't sleep much at all, just an hour or so at a time ... I hadn't showered, washed my hair, changed clothes, or changed my sheets, once ... and I simply did not care ...
I was (still am) living alone, and my one close friend came to check on me a couple of times a week ... he brought me the groceries I needed, made me a big pot of home-made soup that I could eat all week, cleaned my apartment up a bit, and spent some time here just to keep me company... and I was miserable company ... I cycled from uncontrollable hysterical crying to uncontrollable rage in seconds, couldn't speak clearly... stuttered, lost words, and couldn't hold a thought ... I was living Hell to be around.... 
So, enuf of the horrid/bad stuff ....
Here I am, a year later ... I'm POSITIVELY off Cymbalta, and feeling better than I have in years, mentally and physically (yeah, I've got a few "glitches" with the low level anxiety, tinnitus etc, but nothing that's not manageable) ... I've been able to go back to work, at least part-time and/or temp term jobs ... and I'm returning to a real life ... developing new friendships, starting to do my hobbies again, making some travel plans ... I actually laugh, and look forward to things, and have things I want to do ... I feel positive about my life ...
Oh, and I shower, wash my hair, change my clothes and clean my apartment regularly now ... like a "normal" person
And, I have said it before, and I will say it again, and never stop saying it ... I owe it all to this forum and each and every one of the wonderful people who were here, have been here, to help me get through the Hell and to return to Life ...
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Posted 24 December 2014 - 11:05 AM
Out of "likes" again, FN, but that was one powerful post!
Welcome back to life, and we will all always be here for you...we love you!
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