1908 replies to this topic

[ThisBetterPass]

A huge positive for me is feeling as close to my normal as I can right now. Even if it turns out to be for a few hours, I thoroughly enjoy the lack of pain, tightness, and nausea.

[TryinginFL]

TBP,

 

Wonderful!  Have a great day!!

[brzghoff]

 

gail and TBP, congrats on the normal feelings. even if its just for one day, it sure gives hope… doesn't it?

 

my positive today started out as a negative yesterday. yest morn and the morn before i felt so lethargic… walking through water feeling, which is a classic symptom of depression. i was light headed, dizzy and was feeling down and a little hopeless, teary eyed. yesterday afternoon i decided to check my Blood pressure. i take 50 mg of losartan in the morn for High BP and .1 mg of clonidine at night to help with sleep. - knowing its also a BP med. my doc said as long as it doesn't go under 100/60 i'm okay. otherwise stop the losartan. well, yest aft it was 93/61 - no wonder i felt the way i did! still took the clonidine last night but i didn't take losartan this morn - and BP is a healthy 110/76! and i feel pretty good too! so sometimes its not the withdrawal ;-)

 

TFL, you know you are trying, and you are persistent. you have gone through a lot these past several years, and you CT'd! not just Cymbalta but other drugs at the same time. it will take time. since you CT's other drugs too, it will take longer than normal. however, based upon what i've read here - your own self reporting - you are having a better time with the anxiety than you did before. that is huge! please DO count on getting better and waking up feeling good. there is no evidence that you won't, and even if it doesn't happen within your expectation, count on it happening! we see the improvement - and you will too!

 

TFL, we believe in you!

[gail]

Brz, you are right,sometimes it is not withdrawal nor discontinuation.

I am happy for you that you found the culprit and that all is back to normal. Great bp, by the way. Those little episodes do tend to get us back to thinking the worst.

I still have periods, a few days before , the anxiety is through the roof. And relief comes for a week and then it is back again for a couple of days. The thoughts that cross my mind go haywire. And then, I feel better. I cannot get used to that.

We got something in commun, you got the bp like a teenager and I got the period of a teenager.

Maybe they made a mistake on our birth certificate, we may be younger than we think!!!!

[Carleeta]

My positive for today...All anxiety rising, and still feeling pain. I called my cousin to see if she wanted to go to curves today. She stated no...hmmmmm. here I am feeling so much anxiety and wanted to try to go to curves to see if I could do some exercises which might help me. I just got dressed to go there and told myself I can turn the car around at any time. Well, lol lol...I did drive there. I did a few upper body exercises, very very, very slow. I started to feel I might pass out or something, then I told myself well if I do the owner already knows I'm feeling a bit unsteady and she'll call 911. Well I was ok...lol lol lol....Since I was ok, I thought I would stop at the store on the way home and pick up a few things..again I felt a bit wobbly and warm and tried self talking to myself again....well I made it through the shopping and for me this is a great positive since anxiety has struck a very high point for me again...I positively did it. I'll keep pushing myself and get through this anxiety......

[TryinginFL]

Carleeta,

 

So proud of you for all you did while in the throes of anxiety!  That isn't easy, I know, but was the best thing you could have done for yourself. The slow exercise - getting back into it (which is what I should do!) is wonderful!

 

You drove there and then stopped at the store  -  Wow, I remember reading your posts when you still weren't driving or going out by yourself.  Hooooraaaay!!!!

 

How is your anxiety now?  Hopefully, way down...

[Carleeta]

Tryinginfl, my anxiety is a bit lower...tomorrow is a another day and I'm taking it day by day....Every day I can do a bit more makes me feel a bit better....I've come a long way from 10 months ago, set backs and all. Thank you TryinginFL. ...

[brzghoff]

Brz, you are right,sometimes it is not withdrawal nor discontinuation.

I am happy for you that you found the culprit and that all is back to normal. Great bp, by the way. Those little episodes do tend to get us back to thinking the worst.

I still have periods, a few days before , the anxiety is through the roof. And relief comes for a week and then it is back again for a couple of days. The thoughts that cross my mind go haywire. And then, I feel better. I cannot get used to that.

We got something in commun, you got the bp like a teenager and I got the period of a teenager.

Maybe they made a mistake on our birth certificate, we may be younger than we think!!!!

 

 

i don't have periods but i do have blood pressure, so i know i'm alive! ;-) not only the bp of a teenager, but the maturity level too, ha! 

 

i get the cyclic symptoms as well, but the good day cycles are lasting longer than the bad day cycles, at least for now. 

[FiveNotions]

Carleeta, I'm not surprised that the anxiety has come back to bite you a bit recently ... just think about your activity level ... especially with returning to the lab, the studying, the exam ... and all your family activity ... that you're continuing to be active in spite of the anxiety ... moving right through it rather than letting it "freeze" you is wonderful!

 

Just don't push yourself too hard / too far ....how 'bout slowing down and chilling out for a few days?

[Carleeta]

FiveNotions, you are so sweet and thoughtful thinking of me. You are right I've been doing too much. I'm going to try and slow it down and just work on myself. I sort of just need things to keep me busy...lol lol. Right now I just need to concentrate on working on my pain with some exercises and anxiety...Thank you so much for your concern.

[Carleeta]

positively went to the dr today for a bit of lightheadedness. We discussed my arthritis. I have quite a bit in my neck area and my back. I asked him about neurotion for some of these burning and pins and needles sensations. I just might have to go on some pain meds as I have tried to deal with this pain, and now its causing tons of anxiety problems for me. Im positively going to find something to help with the pain. No no no, positively no, antidepressant for any of this. my blood pressure was about 120/70 which I will say is good. He took it in both arms. One read 120/70 the other read 122/70, then he took it again when I was standing up and it was about 130/70.... I believe its ok.

[TryinginFL]

Carleeta

 

Your blood pressure is very normal - mine is 120/70 also, but I take BP meds and have for years.  I'm sorry to say that the arthritis sure can get to the point where it is almost unbearable.  I experienced this after getting off the crap and now take Hydrocodone.  I try not to take it every day, but it is becoming a 1 a day thing.  I also have osteoarthritis in my feet which keeps me from walking any great distances.  Grocery shopping is about the most I can handle  -  I'm limping by the time I make it to the car.

 

Needless to say, this keeps me from doing many things that I would like to do and the foot dr. does give me cortisone shots but even that is not helping much any more.  I am beginning to feel that I don't have much of a life these days.

 

But wait - this is supposed to be a positive thread, right?

 

Ok then, I had a mani and pedi yesterday and the massage therapy today.  Unfortunately, after all the moving of furniture and lifting soaking wet towels due to my flood, the massage was very painful today....

 

Guess I should quit while I'm ahead - at least the Hydrocodone works!         

[Carleeta]

TryimginFl.  Thank you for positively being the wonderful person which you are.  Of course you are in more pain since the flood.  I was worried about that.  I don't know how you do it alone when something like this happens.  You are certainly a trooper to me....

[gail]

Something great happened this morning.
Alarm clock woke me up! Which never happens.
Got up feeling normal and good.
Still feeling relaxed! What a good sensation.

Fivenotions mentionned that it happened to her last week and now it is my turn.

Who will it be next?

[Carleeta]

Gail this is wonderful news. What an absolute positive....yipeeeeee

[ThisBetterPass]

I've broken a huge weight loss barrier as of today: down 18 lbs. and counting!

[TryinginFL]

TBP

 

Congratulations!!  There is nothing better than weight coming off!

 

I do the "weigh in" on Fridays, so will see what tomorrow brings - so far, I'm down 16

 

We both need to celebrate...

[TryinginFL]

Gail

 

How wonderful to get a good night's sleep!!  I did last nite as well...  almost 9 1/2 hours!

 

This happens a little more often than it used to - hope it is the same with you!

 

How different life can be with enough sleep !!!

[Carleeta]

I've broken a huge weight loss barrier as of today: down 18 lbs. and counting!

this is wonderful news. Happy you shared this wonderful positive.

[Carleeta]

TBP
 
Congratulations!!  There is nothing better than weight coming off!
 
I do the "weigh in" on Fridays, so will see what tomorrow brings - so far, I'm down 16
 
We both need to celebrate...

great job! Thank you for sharing such a fantastic positive..

[TryinginFL]

My Friday 'weigh-in' positive...

 

I am now down 18 lbs. !!!  

[Carleeta]

Tryinginfl, Wonderful. You have done such a great job. It's positively fabulous. Isn't it a wonderful feeling? Yipeeeeee

[FiveNotions]

Hello dear friends, I figured I'd better get back here and let you know why I've disappeared, and what's going on. It belongs here in the "positives," with a few small "negatives" that are manageable ... bottom line is that I'm not going to be able to be very active here for the next couple of weeks, until I get settled into what I'm about to explain to you ... I'll be able to check in, and read and maybe post a tiny bit, but I'll be pretty much "MIA" for a bit ... but you're not losing me, you guys are my life-line  

 

I haven't been able to respond to the PMs you've sent me, and I apologize. Please forgive me.....

 

As I think I've blabbed to you already, I've started a second job ... in addition to my PT ongoing gig as a research assistant to the blind PhD student, I've also started, well, am about to "officially" start, an 8 week / 40 hr per week temp job as a metadata librarian for PBS ... 

 

15 temp librarians on this "team," our assignment is to add 12,000 new media items to the PBS "Learning Media" system, which is an online massive database/resource used by all of the public school systems in the US, it's keyed to the new "Common Core" principles ... teachers draw from these materials for their lesson plans/class assignments, and the students use the resource to complete their assignments ...

 

we (the "team") had a training session at the PBS headquarters last Monday, and tomorrow we are having a "virtual training" online, using an internet-based collaborative conferencing technology platform ... we'll all be able to see/hear each other and our project director, and she'll be able to see our individual computer "desk tops" to watch us go through the necessary steps in the metadata coding process in "real time."

 

That alone, even back when I was a crapalta emotionless zombie, would have stressed me to the max ...

 

The amount of information I've had to ingest/master in the past week is massive ... in terms of the librarianship aspects, the technology aspects, and learning what the hell "Common Core" is about ... well, it's a real test for me of how my "post-crapalta" cognitive functions ... and deficits ... are going to measure up ... and hold up ... So far, I'm holding my own ...

 

I've had to up my clonidine to 4 doses a day ... 0.1mg every 6 hrs ... and that seems to be holding the anxiety at bay nicely ... my bp and pulse rate ratcheted right up within the first 2 days, so the increased clonidine is keeping that under control as well. (If I'd taken this much clonidine any time before this project, I'd have "flat-lined" within a day ... )  I'm back to taking the valium, but only at bedtime (so far).

 

I've got an appointment with my worthless clinic shrink this Friday, and I'll get her to increase my clonidine refill to account for the increased dosage. I'm also going to get an Rx for lunesta again ... "just in case" ... hate the stuff, and haven't had any trouble getting to sleep so far, which is amazing ...

 

Yes, I know, this may be more than I can do / handle. However, I am going to give it a go, and do my best. That it's completely "work from home" is the only reason I've got a chance .... because I can rest as needed, and do the work whenever I want to ... it just has to add up to 40 hrs/week ...

 

And the incentive is that if I don't do this job, I'm totally out of $$ and totally won't be able to pay my rent. A very, very motivating reason!

 

I love you all, and will do my best to post at least a bit as the days progress ... just getting through the online training tomorrow morning will be a huge relief.... and I'll be sure to let you know how that goes!

 

xoxox

[TryinginFL]

FN,

 

It's wonderful to hear from you!  I knew this was probably the reason that you were MIA, but you have been missed!

 

I pray that you will make it through this, as I know how important it is to you, but am so sorry that you have to up your meds.  I know, we do what we have to - and it's not always pleasant.

 

I want to wish you all the best and will be thinking of you tomorrow morning - hang in there!!!  I know that you can do it!

 

Please take care of you.

 

Love, hugs and prayers,

 

Liz

[Clara]

I've been thinking about you and praying for you! I knew without a doubt there was a very good reason you were MIA! So happy for you and the new gig! Your cognitive function is good! You are so articulate and able to research and share, etc. etc! You are gonna do great! Stay well rested and keep us UTD as you are able, but don't push too hard! We love ya and are rooting for your success!!

[ShadyLady]

Ditto with TIF & Clara. So glad you posted, girlie! I'm such a lulubelle, I can't even understand the job description you describe

Do whatever you need to do to get through it!! $$ is a motivating factor & the meds are no biggie, imo. always in my thoughts and prayers...YOU are more than able...your posts ain't written my no dummy

Much love & hugs...you go girl xxxxx

[ShadyLady]

Crap! I put emojis in my post and they are not there!!

[brzghoff]

i'e been gone a few days. picked up daughter, son in law and my 3 grandkids up at the airport friday and have been enjoying them ever since! we had a big extended family shin dig at our place yesterday - 20 of us. it was pretty stressful preparing for it - i was cleaning all last week. however it was a great success, beautiful day, the "next generation" of musicians were led by grandpa - a great success!

 

 a great positive

[TryinginFL]

brz...

 

Happy to hear you had such a great time with your family!  How fun!

 

Good for you, that you were able to handle all the cleaning and preparations - you're doing well  (How was the anxiety through all of this?)

 

At least you will have a few days to rest up before they come back!  Enjoy

[ShadyLady]

Brz, sounds like a wonderful day! Kinda like 'Daddy sang bass, momma sang tenor, me & little brother...!' How cool you have a musically inclined clan:).

Are you close with your daughter? How old are your grandz? I have three (well five, another story!) granddaughters that are 5, 10 & 12! When I can stop the circular thinking and be present in the moment, they lift beyond this mess of angst!

Enjoy! I know you were looking forward to this visit.

Be well, friend xxxxxx