1908 replies to this topic

[TryinginFL]

Hi all!

 

I'm a little late in posting here, but my positives for yesterday were - my dog groomer was here in the am to transform

 my canine buddies into handsome little guys again!  Just before she left, my friend who is also my house cleaner arrived to clean my house (this is a once a month luxury I allow myself due to the fibro and arthritis!).  

 

I then left for my therapeutic massage and came back feeling much more human and was happy for the activities all day!  (The clean house helped a lot, too!)

 

I see my therapist this afternoon which is also a positive...

 

Things are beginning to look up - I hope they stay that way - the last 3 weeks have been unbearable!  I did, however get 8 hours sleep last nite - much needed!

 

 

I wish love and hugs to all of you,

 

Liz

[Limbo]

Hey Everyone,

I'm so excited for you FN, a new job! I love that new job feeling. I think the moment I like best is the day before I start my new job

 

My positive - from 60mg-20mg I am starting to see old traits of mine return, the ones I like and dislike. One of the ones I like - last night I lit a bunch of candles, put on my favourite music, and danced around looking like a fool and feeling like a pro. This form of exercise does more for me even than yoga.

 

Congrats again on the job!

[thismoment]

Limbo

 

Good for you! I totally get it; movement=joy!

[DoneWithCrap]

Great idea Limbo!

[FiveNotions]

Great progress report, Limbo! I've got a similar routine, that also "returned" post-crapalta ... bathtub with lavender bath oil, scented candles, and a pint of chocolate ice cream

 

And thanks for the job congrats ... I have two favorite job-related days ... the day I get/accept the offer, and the day I give my resignation notice

[brzghoff]

 

my new anti anxiety drug is Lindt's  90% cocoa chocolate

[TryinginFL]

brz...

 

Out of "likes" but I LIKE THAT!!!  

[DoneWithCrap]

Yummy! Brzghoff, I love milk chocolate but if I indulge too much I will get a migraine. With my anxiety level I would need a pound a day. I better stick with Benzo the Wonder Puppy. He is better for my figure and my brain.

[TryinginFL]

I already have a "positive" for today - I saw my therapist yesterday afternoon and feel so much better - I mean, almost better than before I went on my trip to Hell!  My therapist stated that he noticed a big change from my last visit (of course, I cried the entire time at that last visit).

 

Many thanks to Alprazolam, but I have been able to cut that in half now!

 

I also saw my pair of Cardinals on my patio this morning - best thing!

 

Liz

[DoneWithCrap]

Im happ that you are feeling better TFL 

[FiveNotions]

Wonderful positive, TFL. You really are blessed to have such a good therapist, and to have been with him for so long! And your cardinals bestowed another blessing ... way to go! Putting "The Trip" behind you rapidly !

[FiveNotions]

My positive is that I made it through the first day of my new job on Friday ... enjoyed it, spent 6 hours doing stuff to assist the blind grad student, and then went out for Indian food with my buddy to celebrate ... I should have come straight home.... I was exhausted, and spent most of yesterday sleeping / resting ...

 

clearly, a PT job is the most I can handle at this point ... but I'm so happy / relieved to have this much ... got paid in cash, at the end of the day, which I totally did not expect ... and which I'm totally cool with ... Uncle Sam isn't going to find out about it ... well, NSA/IRS/FBI/CIA etc. probably already know now that I've posted that here... they can't track the terrorists, but they somehow manage to track all of us citizens ...

 

And now, since I still don't feel great, it's positively nap time!

[TryinginFL]

I'm going to take a chance here and list what I hope will be a "positive"!  I see my new PCP tomorrow - was recommended by my therapist so have high hopes!

 

Curious to see her reaction when I tell her about my discontinuation...

[fishinghat]

Good luck. Don't worry you can teacher all about it!!

[FiveNotions]

That is good news, TFL! Looking forward to hearing how it goes ...

 

Maybe "go easy" on him/her at first about the crapaltal withdrawal ...try the "I'm super sensitive to it" approach, and ask if he/she has read about the "discontinuation syndrome" ... don't call it "withdrawal" ... docs/shrinks/therapists define withdrawal as just the period of time during which the drug is actually being eliminated from the body. (They are such "sensitive creatures," we must ease them into reality gently ... )

 

Anything after that period of time (about 5 days for crapalta, I think FH said), isn't "withdrawal" to them ... stick with language/definitions they know about ....

 

If the "I'm sensitive" and "discontinuation" approach seems to fly, then lay out the whole story...

[DoneWithCrap]

Lots of great positives
I meet my new PCP on Tuesday. I will follow your advice FN. I don't want to come on too strong or she might throw me in the bin

[Carleeta]

Warning forum friends, I'm about to shout ....  I POSITIVELY HAVE A POSITIVE ..... I got a job !!!

 

Now you won't have to listen to my worries about money and having to move out of my apartment and... well, you know my spiel  ... and now maybe, just maybe, I can kiss the horrid anxiety attacks good-bye .... we'll see on that, baby steps ...

 

I've been too incoherent with happiness and relief to post something here ... I did write to a friend, and managed to be somewhat coherent, so I'm going to pretty much cut and past that here ...

Okay, here's the job ... it's perfect for me ... working as a research assistant / reader for a blind PhD student ... he needs help about 20-25 hours a week, and the pay isn't great . . . oh sweet Lord, it's such a tiny fraction of what I was earning "pre-crapalta withdrawal" ...but it will definitely cover my rent and "basics." And that means that my cats and I won't have to come live in your basements or garages on some sort of rotating schedule

 

Even better, most of the research can be done from home, online, and just email results to him. (I'll find the articles he needs, read them into a recording device he'll give me, and then transmit the recording to him electronically.) Other things he needs read to him (stuff that's not on the internet/journal databases), I'll do either at the uni library or at his home office near the university.... that's an easy bus ride from my apartment building.

And get this ... the best part .... his area of study is "experimental psychology" ... the physiological side of things ... and he wants to focus on .... drum roll  *** anxiety*** -- specifically, the "freeze" aspect of it ... he wants to show that it's not just "fight or flight" ... that there's also a third component --- "freeze" ...

 

Hell, I could be his first test subject .... he could use this entire forum for his test group

 

And hey, I just realized something ... I can share all those great research articles here!

Gee whiz, I hope talking about this doesn't jinx it ... but it really does seem too good to be true... pays the rent, part time and part work from home.... so I can stay rested and keep trying to get healthier ... research, which I'm great at ... and studying "anxiety" .... which I'm also great at

 

Ok, I'm about to start babbling (even more than I have been) ...will end here.

Oh I am so happy, happy, happy....yipeeeeee, yipeeeee, and yipeeeee...  So proud of you and your strength and determination.  You never gave up, you definitely are a survivor.....yipeeeeeeeee

[Carleeta]

I positively went through with my SI Joint injection shot yesterday....My anxiety was through the roof yesterday am...my appt was at 11:45 am and had to be there at 11:30 am for prep work...I was there at 11:15 am..lol lol lol...at 11:45 when they hadn't taken me yet, I told my niece "ok it's 11:45, let's go"..Lol lol lol...She laughed and said "no"..lol lol...I did it again at 11:50...lol lol..Right after that, yup the called my name...lol lol...I had taken my Valium and was still so anxious..although I'm determined to get rid of this pain, and toughened up and just told myself this will only hurt for a short time. ..and yes it was short...yes I felt the needle slightly, then something warm, then a burst of an simething I could just describe as 'ouch, and that was it....I stayed up in the mountains for the night as my nieces and came back today at noon....Have to positively catch up on all I missed for about a week...I'm positively glad this shot is over...

[TryinginFL]

Carleeta...

 

Hooooraaay!!!!  You did it!  A great "positive" for you...  

[FiveNotions]

I hope your doc gave you a lollipop for being a "good patient" !

[Carleeta]

FiveNotions. .lol lol...no lollipop...lol lol...he told me to go have a glass of wine..lol lol lol...TryinginFl. ..Yup I did it..lol lol...
Now waiting patiently (really impatiently) to see if it works...I'm lying on my back with a heating blanket on my upper back, and sure enough my cat is lying on my stomach. .lol lol...

Unfortunately, I'm still a bit wobbly and haven't driven yet...My cousin drove me to the restaurant where I'm having a Christening dinner for my grandson...I've positively decided on the food to have that day...OMG I couldn't decide what foods to have..lol lol...Guess I chose almost every option they gave me. ..lol lol lol....You all should have been there to see me with the selections...so funny...I was mixing and mixing and matching everything...lol lol lol...Thank goodness it's an Italian restaurant. Lol lol...It's positively all done with the exception of the rsvps and the actual number of pp coming..Haven't received the actual number from my daughter in laws side, as they don't like rsvp...This makes me so anxious...They all live in NYC and make their decisions the day of...hmmmmm. .I actually told all of them if I don't have their answer by tomorrow they cannot come..lol lol...They at first didn't believe me..lol lol lol...They found out today how serious I was...lol lol lol....Therefore they are responding as I post. .lol lol lol....
It's positively been a productive day....

[FiveNotions]

Carleeta, you are simply unstoppable ! ... remember that movie, "The Unsinkable Molly Brown" (Debbie Reynolds) ? That's you ... nothing is going to keep you down!

[thismoment]

FN

 

Yes, and there's a little magic in there too-- some Mary Poppins! Let's all go to Carleeta's house for spaghetti, fresh rolls, and red wine!

[TryinginFL]

Yowza....count me IN!

[Carleeta]

FN
 
Yes, and there's a little magic in there too-- some Mary Poppins! Let's all go to Carleeta's house for spaghetti, fresh rolls, and red wine!

lol lol...Yes everyone is invited, although it would be a different pasta from spaghetti. .lol lol lol...Spaghetti is so generic for me...lol lol....No rolls either, fresh bread or brushetta. ..definitely Wine. ..I house 36 bottles of wine on my wine racks..and have a wine cooler with eight bottles always chilled...Once I start feeling better I'm positively going to start cooking..

I'm positively doing my best to in trying to eliminate all this pain....by going to the doctors, pt (which I had to stop because it caused more pain) getting trigger point injections and resting....My anxiety level is very high and I won't give up...yipeeee for me.....

[Carleeta]

Carleeta, you are simply unstoppable ! ... remember that movie, "The Unsinkable Molly Brown" (Debbie Reynolds) ? That's you ... nothing is going to keep you down!

..Lol lol...yes it's difficult for my family to understand this pain has stopped me from doing regular household chores, although they are getting the message..lol lol.....It's very hard for me to not be doing something..lol lol

[TryinginFL]

Carleeta...

 

I'm sure it is bugging you to death to have to stay still, but please take care so that you will be up and at 'em soon!  And I know about the anxiety - man, it's driving me nuts!! l

 

Knowing how much you love to cook I can imagine how hard it is NOT to!  Of course, your family loves you and wants you better quickly - we all do!!

 

Try to take it easy...

 

Liz

[Carleeta]

Tryinginfl. ..I'm resting up positively...I can't sit and I can't lye down and it's been like this for a month. ..everything is paunful, standing and walking helps keep the pain at bay. .I just can't wait till the pains lighten up or disappear...omg...

[TryinginFL]

Carleeta....

 

I'm sorry you are having so much pain - do you have anything to take for it?  I sure hope so!

 

We all want you feeling better...

[Carleeta]

Carleeta....
 
I'm sorry you are having so much pain - do you have anything to take for it?  I sure hope so!
 
We all want you feeling better...

I can take aleve for the pain...and that's all for now...