1908 replies to this topic

[Clara]

Great to have you back, Carleeta! FN. prayers going to the Father for your job hunt! xman, how are you? I positively cleaned house today! Now to figure out what's for early dinner for hubs before he goes off to work! I am positively grateful for the sunshine, the birds singing and all my friends here! Hugs and prayers for all!!!

[Carleeta]

Great to have you back, Carleeta! FN. prayers going to the Father for your job hunt! xman, how are you? I positively cleaned house today! Now to figure out what's for early dinner for hubs before he goes off to work! I am positively grateful for the sunshine, the birds singing and all my friends here! Hugs and prayers for all!!!

Clara...Thank you...I'm happy to be back and see you all...Great positives you have..I love the positive thread..Always finding something positive out of our/you day...Wonderful...

[Carleeta]

Hey Carleeta ... I got a chuckle visualizing your big, fat, too chubby to fly anymore, hummingbirds... have you been feeding them that yummy lasagna of yours? :-DMy positive for today is that I'm about to get "gussied up" and head downtown to the Daughters of the American Revolution library and drop off a resume for a couple of positions they have open ... I'm over qualified for both, but am hoping that if I can just see the librarian on duty and chat, I'll be able to convey that I'm an "old fart" librarian, looking for a gig where I can be of use... not for career advancement... and that they would benefit by hiring me rather than a fresh out of school librarian ...I'm even going to put on mascara ... this is war, baby!

Fivenotions. .lol lol..Too funny about the humming birds. ..Wish I could have given them lasagna it would have been easier..lol lol...took a long time to find the exact receipe of nectar they liked...lol lol..Hoping yesterday went well at the library..great idea to just ease in your experience and interest in working in the field again...Let us know how you did..

[FiveNotions]

Hi Carleeta ... we need to start a "listing the shitty events" thread, cuz yesterday belongs there, not here ...

short story ... I doubt I'm even in the running for the DAR library ... one of the very first questions I was asked was "are you a member?" ... as in, are you "one of us," a Daughter ... of the American Revolution... I told 'em no, but I'm pretty sure I'm eligible, but have never documented it... they are the snootiest group of women I've encountered in ages ... the only person I encountered there who even smiled and was warm/friendly was the security guard at the front desk...

Afterwards, I spent a couple of hours in the library, researching my own surname...if I go back for a few more hours, I'll be able to prove I'm eligible for DAR membership ... which I'll happily tell the librarian ... but there's no way in hell I'm applying ... not a group I'd want to hang out with ..

And of that, I'm positive! :-D

[Clara]

Awww, FN, I'm so sorry, but that was evidently not the job you're supposed to have. One will come along, I'm sure! Keep the faith! You def' got the education, strength and determination! I admire that in you! I'm feeling positive for you! Hugs and prayers!!!

[FiveNotions]

I'm going to "PM" my resume and salary requirements to you, Clara! You're the kind of employer I'd love to have! hehehe :-D

[gail]

FN, I would employ you anytime, with all your qualifications.

 

Great on research, good with words, compassionate, hard-headed, the questions you ask are so pertinent, like a lawyer.

Clear headed, determined, spiritual. And much more, forgot about you being the Captain of our boat yesterday. A great one.

 

OK, positive event here, 30 minutes meditation. Anxiety to normal level.

Wanted to take a walk, but much to hot and humid, intention was there.

 

And rendez-vous with doctor next monday am for clonidine.

[Wagtail]

Gail , I'm really battling with bad anxiety this morning from 3.am until now 6 am ... Have just taken 5 mg Valium , 2 hrs earlier than usual but feeling desperate. How are you settling yourself down to be @ a normal level ...any tips appreciated ...

[FiveNotions]

Hey there Wagtail ... since you'd reduced your Valium by more than 1/2 for a couple of days, it may take a couple more days of the full dosing (5mg tid) to get you back to stable ...

You might also want to take a bit of the clonidine ... unless your therapist said strictly to take it only once a day in the evening ...

did you call her to tell her how you're feeling today?

[Carleeta]

Hi Carleeta ... we need to start a "listing the shitty events" thread, cuz yesterday belongs there, not here ...short story ... I doubt I'm even in the running for the DAR library ... one of the very first questions I was asked was "are you a member?" ... as in, are you "one of us," a Daughter ... of the American Revolution... I told 'em no, but I'm pretty sure I'm eligible, but have never documented it... they are the snootiest group of women I've encountered in ages ... the only person I encountered there who even smiled and was warm/friendly was the security guard at the front desk...Afterwards, I spent a couple of hours in the library, researching my own surname...if I go back for a few more hours, I'll be able to prove I'm eligible for DAR membership ... which I'll happily tell the librarian ... but there's no way in hell I'm applying ... not a group I'd want to hang out with ..And of that, I'm positive! :-D

Fivenotions. ..It's absolutely, positively not where you belong with those so called 'labeled' group..You are far more happier, friendlier, and without a doubt more intelligent than them..I'm all for 'giving back' to one's community than to be 'taking in', which this group apparently wants...There should be a spread just for releasing the days negative...Great idea I will start one...You will find something FN and it will come to you...

[FiveNotions]

I agree, Carleeta ... it's a library I'd just love to work in ... in terms of the substance ... but clearly not a group of people I'd want to have to be with ... hell, I'd be happier working with that nice guard who had the bright smile and quick sense of humor ....

But I do plan to go back to use the DAR library and trace my "pedigree" back to the dude who served in the Continental Army ... actually, I think I've got two ... one from MA and one from NY.... then, I'll submit the family history to them, so they can have it on file for the use/benefit of other researchers ... and when they hand me the "DAR enrollment papers," I'll just smile and decline ...

{evil grin, yet again}

PS, naw, don't start a "negative events" topic ... we post all that crap(alta) everywhere else here ... no need to give it a special place of "honor" ;-)

[Wagtail]

Hey there Wagtail ... since you'd reduced your Valium by more than 1/2 for a couple of days, it may take a couple more days of the full dosing (5mg tid) to get you back to stable ...You might also want to take a bit of the clonidine ... unless your therapist said strictly to take it only once a day in the evening ...did you call her to tell her how you're feeling today?

FN, I would take some Clonidine but if I take it during the day it bombs me out & I can't function & then that panics me more .... Its too early to call my therapist yet , not for another hour ..:-(

[FiveNotions]

Wagtail, have you tried this with the clonidine ... it's my regular dose ... I've got the 0.1 mg tablet.... I take just 1/4 of a tab at a time ... it's all I need ...

Now, yours you said are the 0.5 mg... how about you split one, and then split one of the halves ... so you're taking just 1/4 dose ...

That may be just enuf to take the edge off a bit ... it'll take a little time to get into your system, but at least you'll know that help is on the way ...

[Wagtail]

Fivenotions , my Clonidine tablets are 100mcg ... I must have typed the wrong dosage ...

[fishinghat]

Whoa, stop the presses!! 0.5 mg Clonidine? For real?  That is the level used for those suffering from very high bp. Normal for anxiety is like you FN, 0.1 mg.

 

Wagtail, can you go double check that. I think you will (I hope) find it is 0.05 mg. Please let us know.

[fishinghat]

OK, that is better. You post just popped up as I posted mine. By the way 0.1mg is the same as 100 mcg.

[FiveNotions]

My bad, sorry Wagtail and FH ... I just checked, and Wagtail had said that she was taking .5 mg of Xanax....

[Bethhalffull]

Hello again all,

In response to questions: I weaned by cutting back alternate days, then skipping alternate days, splitting 60 mg caps in approximate half by eyeing the beads...finally decided that doing alternate days was probably harder on me (because of the off and on again) and just stopped.  I didn't have 30mg caps.

 

Ii's possible the loose bowels I am suffering with could be a coincidence.  But I never had it before, and it started when I stopped...but if it is not something others have then the connection must be indirect.

 

One of the things I would like to share is the books that I have learned from.  One of my favorites is Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whittaker.  I felt that the references to research let me use my own judgement to reach conclusions. He studied a wide range of psychotropic drugs.  I bought copies of his book to lend and/or give away.  I am particularly worried about some of my son's teenaged friends who are ripe for the industry to chew up.  I also appreciated Unhinged and The Emperors New Drugs.

 

I came across  a book in the office of my counselor (they have a little bookshelf--what a nice gesture for a counseling office!) by Geneen Roth.  She is an "anti-diet" person, and many of her books are about people's issues with food.  I was just reading When You Eat at the Refrigerator Pull Up a Chair and a paragraph made me think of this list:

"When a tree is tender and young, first making its roots, a gardener knows to fence it from deer, fertilize it with nutrients, pay loving attention as it gets started.  The gardener doesn't grow the tree; she provides the conditions in which it can thrive.  We need to do the same with our souls, hearts, spirits, bodies.  We need to provide the conditions in which we can thrive, and those conditions involve other people.  We need to put ourselves in circumstances in which we can be seen, heard, and loved for who we are and want to become."

 

In a way, we are starting over.  Rebuilding ourselves, especially those of us who have been "away" for a long time.  I know I am trying to become a person who sees the glass as "half full," and focusses on the contribution I can make.  That is one reason why the misery and anger that I experience with withdrawal is so shameful to me.  And of course shame evokes misery and the cycle goes on. 

 

I put a bird feeder in my yard and the birds are a great source of entertainment. 

[FiveNotions]

BethHF, I'm out of likes (why do we get so few?), but I LIKE what you just posted!

Please consider re-posting (cut and paste, or whatever) what you said, especially the book suggestions, over in the "Cymbalta in the news" forum, as a new topic .... and/or adding them to the topic/thread that Gail started on "inspirational books" ....

https://www.cymbalta...l=inspirational

I think other members, now and in the future, and those who just browse here, might benefit from knowing about them ... I know I'm going to check 'em out at the library or get them from amazon.com ....

Yay on the bird feeder ... what types/kinds live near you?

I've got a pair of morning (mourning?) doves somewhere out behind my apartment... I just love the sounds they make, find them so comforting ... lotta folks don't like them, find them sad and depressing ... we've got a number of other bird lovers here ...

[Wagtail]

OK, that is better. You post just popped up as I posted mine. By the way 0.1mg is the same as 100 mcg.

Fishinghat , I just spoke to my therepist and she told me to take another 5 mgs of Valium to help me settle some ...I took 5 mgs @ 5am so that means I've taken 10 mgs in 3 1/2 hrs ... Is that too much do you think ... If I'm still crying & full of fear I might knock myself out by taking a quarter of a Clonidine !... Never done this before , shows how much fear I'm feeling ... Scared to be awake & scared to be asleep .... OMG ...tear slipping down my cheek ...

[FiveNotions]

Wagtail, did you ask your therapist about the clonidine? If not, call her back, right now... you need to keep her informed on all of your questions and everything you do ...

[TryinginFL]

Bethhf...

 

I also am out of "likes" but like your post!

 

A bird feeder - great!

[Carleeta]

Wagtail...I understand your fear at this moment and I wish I had the answer for you. ..I do agree with Fivenotions and double check with your therapist on all mess you have taken with the last 4 hours...please keep us informed...

[fishinghat]

They got it right. Call back. Be sure all is clear before proceeding.

[Wagtail]

I will only get her answering machine if I call her back now so I will not take the Clonidine ... I took the extra 5 mg Valium an hour ago so will wait & give it time to help .... So far I don't feel much better ...
Thank Goodness I have you all to talk to about this .. Thank you , you all know how grateful I am ... It will be your bedtime soon & my day has just started ... It's going to be a very long one I fear ...xx

[FiveNotions]

Then call her and leave a message ... an urgent message ... be assertive, Wagtail ... you can do this...

[Carleeta]

Wagtail just wondering if your therapist has an emergency number or if an emergency number is given out incase of an emergency. If so, please contact them. Don't worry about US time its only 8pm and I know I will be up to at least 11 am. Put please liprsten to FiveNotions about being assertive. We are here for you at anytime.

[Carleeta]

10:17 pm...Positive tonight is I just made a cup of tension tamer tea, and sipping it now as Im getting ready for a good night sleep. Today was not so productive..lol lol..Had all intentions of doing my laundry and washing the kitchen floor (swifer..lol) and vacuuming the living room, and all of a sudden poof the phone rang and a neighbor invited me over for coffee.. How could I refuse..lol lol.. I don't even drink coffee...lol lol.. Decaff maybe..lol lol. Well there went the laundry..lol and there went vacuuming the living room..lol Although, positively I did wash the kitchen and bathroom floor...lol lol...Its been and ok day and tomorrow is another day...

[Bethhalffull]

I am a transplant to South Texas from the North East.  Most of the backyard birds here are the same.   I get cardinals, sparrows, blue jays, chickadees, nuthatches and mourning doves regularly.  My feeder has four perches and four little feeding spots. The mourning doves are too big, but they sit on one perch and lean over and eat from another feeding spot, wrapping themselves around the feeder be able to reach the food.  The feeder is "squirrel proof", (the weight of a squirrel on the perches closes the feeding spots) and does work pretty well, but I have seen an occasional squirrel-obat hang upside down from the metal sides of the feeder and snatch a bite.  The mockingbirds and swallows don't visit the feeder, but I did see a red-headed woodpecker snacking the other day.  Occasional house/purple finches.  I'm sure I'm forgetting some.

 

I generally let some feed fall on the ground or the picnic table for anybody who can't make it to the feeder.  Earlier in the summer families of mourning doves with the cute juveniles would roam around snapping up the dropped seeds.

 

I had a meltdown yesterday.  I'm still not really over it.  My daughter's employer (a not-for-profit arts venue) did something that was really unkind, not allowing her time off (four days) to pursue an artistic opportunity that could be a big break for her.  She was upset, dusted herself off, got over it.  I'm am still enraged.  I have hardly stopped crying since they did it.  I am ready to jump down the throat of anyone or anything that looks at me crooked.  Momma bear thing, yeah, but mostly brain boil over.

 

I had two relatively calm weeks but the storm has not left the area yet.

 

I have some .5 mg clonazepam tablets that expired in 2007.  I was prescribed them for emergencies, if I experienced a rare agitated depression.  I may have used them twice, ever.  I almost took one a couple of weeks ago.  After over an hour on the phone with the endocrinologists office discussing why I was a new patient even though I was a patient previously, and why if I am a new patient I will see the PA rather than the doctor in six weeks (the first available for new patients) and updating them with my health insurance and my medicare information, the office worker told me she would cancel this appointment if I didn't give her my credit card information over the phone.  I used an ugly anglo saxon word to tell her to do something to herself that generally takes two, before I hung up.

 

Not a nice way to talk to some poor wage slave who is just trying to earn a living.  So I dug through my closet and found the old pills.  By the time I found them I was a little calmer.  I know the expiration dates are bogus, but seven years is a long time.  Does anyone know if clonazepam is particularly susceptible to decay?

 

I was on a listserve years ago for multiracial adoptive parents--I used to call the folks I talked to there my imaginary friends.  Thanks to you my new imaginary friends for listening.

[Carleeta]

Bethhalffull, wonderful positives for your gathering of birds and how wonderful having a feeder which outsmarts the squirrels..lol
Nature is such a beautiful sight and an amazing fact. Nature is very grounding for all individuals.

As far as the expiration date of your clonazepam, my take on this would to call your local pharmacy and inquire about its potency.

Thank you for sharing your positives on this thread....