1908 replies to this topic

[xman]

Sending positive thoughts to FiveNotions!

 

I positively am up and ready to shower for work. I was very close to calling in sick but pushed thru it and I am going to make it thru the day!

 

One day it will be easier, I am hopeful.

[TryinginFL]

Good for you Xman!  And I hope that all went well for FN!  You two are wonderful role models....   I still have no energy, but then didn't sleep much last nite (this is only a once every 3-4 wk thing for me and it drives me nuts!)

 

Didn't take any RX's yesterday either but I tend to cave before bedtime... I'm just happy that I can make it through the day without them!  When comfortable, I will start working on the nites - beginning with the Trazadone!  So far nothing today either!

 

I wish all of you a wonderful evening - and all of my good thoughts and prayers!

 

Hugs,

Liz

[Wagtail]

FN, you are inspirational ..
Working through your pain !, one Baby step @ a time . I am so happy for you & by the time you read this you will probably have finished your day & home safely with your feet up & a cuppa in your hand .
Good for you . :-)

[FiveNotions]

Hi Wagtail, yep I'm home...curled up with some yogi detox tea ;-)

I made it through the interview just fine....in terms of being coherent, personable, etc....however, what they're looking for isn't at all what I'm qualified to do....they need the latest library tech skills, which I don't have....and I'm a research/reference librarian, which, I learned, is no longer an in-demand library function....

also, it was a real eye opener on how old I am....the gal at the agency who interviewed me was young enough to be my daughter....

one of her interview questions was "Where do you see yourself in your library career in 5-10 years?" Hahahahahaha ..... well, dead or in a nursing home.....I didn't say that, but I sure thought it....and I'll bet you a bottle of cymbalta so did she ! :-D

I think I'd better stick with my idea to get a part time job as a "senior companion/caregiver"..... Luckily there are still a few folks older and less healthy than me who need help and are willing to pay for it (or their children are) ...... and the big plus is that to them I'll be a "youngster" ;-)

[Wagtail]

Liz , I hear your pain & I am the same as you .

I wake up with tolerable anxiety & need to get out of bed straight away before I start thinking too much . If I can, I keep myself busy & wait until bedtime to take something ( 0.5 mg Zanax) .
I have realized that the effects from the Zanax has worn off by morning & the anxiety I feel is probably withdrawal !.

IM hoping to switch to something with a longer half life eg Valium so that I won't feel so bad in the early AM .
I know that as I feel better I will be able to stop the Valium too.

Good luck ..xx

[Carleeta]

Now that is news to cheer about!!! Yippeeeee!  Hmm, that exclamation sounds like someone I know. I just can't remember who!!. lol

Fishinghat. ..yippeeee. .It's me!..lol lol

[Carleeta]

Hi Wagtail, yep I'm home...curled up with some yogi detox tea ;-)
I made it through the interview just fine....in terms of being coherent, personable, etc....however, what they're looking for isn't at all what I'm qualified to do....they need the latest library tech skills, which I don't have....and I'm a research/reference librarian, which, I learned, is no longer an in-demand library function....
also, it was a real eye opener on how old I am....the gal at the agency who interviewed me was young enough to be my daughter....
one of her interview questions was "Where do you see yourself in your library career in 5-10 years?" Hahahahahaha ..... well, dead or in a nursing home.....I didn't say that, but I sure thought it....and I'll bet you a bottle of cymbalta so did she ! :-D
I think I'd better stick with my idea to get a part time job as a "senior companion/caregiver"..... Luckily there are still a few folks older and less healthy than me who need help and are willing to pay for it (or their children are) ...... and the big plus is that to them I'll be a "youngster" ;-)

FiveNotions. ..I truly believe you would make a wonderful 'senior companion/caregiver'..It's such a full filling job....You will come home feeling good about yourself as you will be giving to others....

[TryinginFL]

Wagtail....  good for you!  You are only taking .5 mg Alprazolam (Xanax)  - I take 1 mg !  Prescription is for 2mg/day but I only took 2 when in the first few weeks of withdrawal...doing much better now!

 

I can't believe I'm almost 4 months off of that crap - Yaaaayyy!!!!

 

Happy to hear that you do not have Lymes - take good care of yourself!

 

Hugs and Prayers,

Liz

[FiveNotions]

Thank you, Carleeta! I really enjoyed the interview today -- the gal I spoke with and I hit it off immediately on the personal level, and it was clear to both of us after just a couple of minutes that the job and I were a mismatch.....and, I came away feeling relieved and at in peace (as opposed to "in pieces" hehehe) about no longer belonging in my once beloved profession....

We've talked about this here before.....I realized more completely today that Cymbalta has changed me....first, because I was on it....now, because I've survived getting off it.... I see things differently somehow, care about different things....

I've got to mull this over a bit before I try to explain more fully..... but, i can say for sure that the post-cymbalta person I am now feels new and reborn....and I need to find a new direction in my life, one that expresses this new/reborn me.....

[Carleeta]

It's been a long couple of weeks, although positively productive...Trying to get my home in order is 'crazy' anxiety sky high and moving things I shouldn't have...lol lol...Been positively sore! Accompolished much; contractor Dave has my light fixtures up, pictures on the walls, brought my kitty's furniture (lol lol, perch, litter boxes, and toybox).. Next week he'll be putting up my new shades and verticals to my balcony...ouffff it's positively going to be done soon...Things undone drive me absolutely coo coo....

During this extremely high anxiety time, I attended a suprise birthday party, a funeral service, and 4 times a week at curves...

Missed everyone so very very much...I'm positively grateful for having all your support...Thank you everyone!

[FiveNotions]

Man Carleeta, you're an Italian whirling dervish! So good to have you back and whirling around here -- we get all sorta cob-webby without your high spirits blowing through!

[TryinginFL]

FN - I am so happy for you - you have made the trip to Hell and are well on your way back!  How wonderful that this interview pointed you in the direction of your new vocation!   You are apparently handling your anxiety quite well!   Congratulations!!

 

Carleeta - I, too, picture you flying around getting your home together without thinking of all of that anxiety!  I am envious of all of your energy   Soon you and kitty will be able to relax together!

 

Hugs and Prayers to all of my dear friends here on this forum,

Liz

[Carleeta]

FiveNotions. ..I'm glad to be whirling around here and not my home..lol lol lol...I've accomplished so much and realized I have an empty freezer..lol lol...omg what Italian do you know that has an empty freezer? Lol lol...
I feel pretty sane when I'm here and totally insane when I'm fussing around my home...lol lol...Go figure...hmmm...

I'm absolutely and positively happy to be back...

[FiveNotions]

TFL, I had a few moments later this afternoon where my brain tried to convince me I was on the edge of a panic attack....that little tingle and crescendo of anxiety that is my warning signal.....I was able to catch it in time and use all my little tricks to slow it down....so far, I'm holding steady....taking my little baby steps... ;-)

[TryinginFL]

FN....  I understand that feeling!  Good for you - taking charge with those "little baby steps"  Hang in there - you're doing great!

[Wagtail]

Hello everyone,
FN ... Those warning feeling ... OMG don't they suck . I'm currently going through a period with bouts of these feelings ... All day & night while I'm awake .
I feel like a light switch being switched on & off constantly .
Yesterday I visited a shopping centre & from the moment I entered the place I was feeling a lot of little electric zaps with constant pins & needles all over my body , I would have killed to take something to settle me down but I stayed strong & rode it out .

Despite all the s/e's I'm still dealing with , I truly think that I am mending .

I know that tomorrow might be a hard day but I am prepared for whatever happens. I realize that my poor brain is trying it's best to regain the power that the CRAPALTA took away from it & I can actually feel it happening.
The positives are , that I am thinking more clearly & even my speech is stronger & clearer. I feel more in control ( on my good days ) .

I 'm noticing the weirdest symptom , my brain not being able to differentiate between GOOD excitement & BAD excitement
It's quite distressing when I feel happy to see my children but my body reacts with flooding of bad chemicals & I feel panicky & distressed & it also physically hurts too.
Hard to describe , but it's like I'm being electrocuted & it just doesn't ease ... I am guessing ( hoping ) that my brain will soon recover it's pathways & it will get better.

Everyday is still a challenge but without ALL OF YOU !!!! I could not have done this , you guys are my ROCKS .... MY MOUNTAINS ..

Just logging in every morning ( your evenings ) I get the strength from you to keep on keeping on.
IF I ever get well enough to travel to America , we can all meet up & have a good catch up & maybe a laugh about our journey together .
That's a positive to look forward to !.. :-)

[FiveNotions]

Wagtail, I've used up all my "likes" (why do we have a quota on "likes" anyway?) ..... But count this as a huge like like like for what you just posted!

[Carleeta]

2:39...It's positively rainy and cold here...Didn't put the sweats away and now I know why...Getting ready to go and do a final walk through at my prior home to check and make sure everything is cleared out, clean, and ready for the new owners...Won't be driving myself as my son will be taking me...Still unable to drive long distances alone, although I'm working on it...lol lol..Don't know why I would drive out there anyway...lol lol lol

Still coming together in my new home and so much to do...I'll take it slower than I have only because I have to..lol lol..Some things are still on order...lol lol....I will positively start to enjoy all the ambiance im looking at..lol lol...Ive come such a long way and positively feel so much relief...yipeeee!

[Wagtail]

Good for you Carleeta , it's so encouraging to hear that you are taking it all in your stride & feeling stronger & happy.

I'm feeling a lot better as well , far from GREAT but better than this time 4 weeks ago . I'm positively taking charge & choosing a therapist & a naturopath to keep me well naturally .
No more withdrawals for me if I've got anything to do with it , & I do !.

Today I'm going to drive to the shopping centre & have myself a pedicure. It's my youngest grandsons 3rd birthday party on Sunday & my whole immediate family will be there.
My positive goal is to be happy & in control of my anxiety ( without the help of alcohol ) & to laugh & enjoy the love .

I'm more than aware that this time next week I might be back on the lounge chair suffering from s/e's but I will cross that bridge when it happens.
Today is positively starting off POSITIVE ... Love to all of you .

[FiveNotions]

Oh, a pedicure sounds wonderful, Wagtail! As do the plans for Sunday! Don't think about next week until it arrives..... ;-)

[Carleeta]

Good for you Carleeta , it's so encouraging to hear that you are taking it all in your stride & feeling stronger & happy.
I'm feeling a lot better as well , far from GREAT but better than this time 4 weeks ago . I'm positively taking charge & choosing a therapist & a naturopath to keep me well naturally .
No more withdrawals for me if I've got anything to do with it , & I do !.
Today I'm going to drive to the shopping centre & have myself a pedicure. It's my youngest grandsons 3rd birthday party on Sunday & my whole immediate family will be there.
My positive goal is to be happy & in control of my anxiety ( without the help of alcohol ) & to laugh & enjoy the love .
I'm more than aware that this time next week I might be back on the lounge chair suffering from s/e's but I will cross that bridge when it happens.
Today is positively starting off POSITIVE ... Love to all of you .

Wagtail. .Great news...You go and do everything you want to do...The way I look at it is just Enjoy! Sooooooo happy for you...

[xman]

My positive for today is I took the big step for an interview for volunteering at Meal On Wheels And More (MOWAM). The "and more" part is related to helping the companion animals for ppl. that can't get to the vet, groomers etc. I had been giving little donations here and there but I want to be active. Well there, I did it! What have I gotten myself into now?!!  I can't hardly groom my own fur family very well lately. I see it as a positive but am now filled w/ anxiety knowing I have to go downtown and meet n greet etc. I can barely get away from my little space heater on my days off and why on earth I took on this responsibility, well maybe I knew it would help motivate...I don't know. That damn crapalta! There was a time when I had no problem going and blowing all day and into the late evenings. Will it really get better? I am here to find the answer.

 

In the footsteps of FN, who goes to the NH and visits ppl., onward I go. Maybe!~!

 

I hope Clareeta gets some warm weather. Positive thoughts going out to you all in hopes of a better today.

[gail]

Hello Xman, that was a big move you maid. The first step is the hardest, then it comes easier as time go by. I can understand the anxiety thing.

 

I, myself, made a big move last thursday, went to my first meeting in years. Usually , I am in my pyjamas at 7pm, and never, never go out at night. That first night, I was so filled with anxiety prior to the meeting, all went perfectly well. And guess what, I'm going again tonite, and I'm feeling good about it.

 

So, I would say, yes it gets better, wax and wane as you said. Bravo for taking on a you new adventure.

[Carleeta]

Xman...Don't think about the new volunteer work...Just say to yourself this when you get in the car to drive there" Self, you can always turn the car around, or leave the premises,.....I'm not going to lose anything if I turn the car around or leave if I can't do this today"...That's it Xman, you don't need to pressure yourself worrying about the 'uncertainity'...It's just volunteer work...Ask yourself also; What's the worse thing that can happen to me if I don't go? Answer is ease; nothing. ..It's no biggie!..
Try and not take on too much right now...Do what you can do...It's not everyday life we have days when we can't sit down and other days when we don't want to move from the house...Please don't over think what might happen...Sometimes we create more of our own anxiety by thinking of what might happen....Just take day by day....

Thoughts and prayers to you....

[TryinginFL]

I agree w/Carleeta!  Sorry -- I'm out of "likes"!

[Clara]

Yay, xman! Pray for me that I'll find the motivation to get going on some volunteer work also, please! It's been lurking around in the back of my mind for some time now, but I prob; don't have to tell anyone here why I haven't taken the plunge yet. All kinds of what ifs, am I ready, blah blah, blah! Glad you're in your new home, Carleeta! Settle in on your time frame! Steady as she goes! Yay for you, Gail, out and about! Blessings, hugs and prayers for all!!!   clara

[TryinginFL]

Clara....  Prayers going up for you, dear friend

 

Your body will let you know when you're ready...

 

Take care of yourself and please keep us posted as you continue on this wretched trip  

[clearglass]

Good Morning, I've bee a little busy lately, with positives.  I've been accepted to complete my graduate studies and I got a job!!!

I've been working with my dogs to prepare them for my return to work.  I'm so excited. 

 

(My prayers go out to those who haven't found jobs and also those who lost unemployment. There are so many people struggling.) 

 

I pray for everyone. God Bless.

clearglass

[xman]

I will pray for you Clara. Thank you ALL so much for the support and words. It really means a lot to me and helps. I'm going to do the self talk, to which Carleeta referred, from now until the time I get in my car to go downtown!

Congratulations Clearglass!! I think I know what you mean by preparing the dogs-they are use to having you around...good you have more than one! What an accomplishment in the face of a health crisis. YAY!!   

Gail nothing wrong with being in your PJs at 7 PM --you are not alone here... Happy that you have gotten out to meetings.

I am positively happy at this moment.

[fishinghat]

Well my wife and I took off on Wednesday and spent  a day and a half shopping in St.Louis.  We also ate way too much good fattening food.  We then went to Chicago and spent  2 days there shopping and feeding like pigs at a trough.  lol   And a good time was had by all.