Hello everyone,
My name is Allison (obv lol ) and usually go by Al. I am sitting here in bed in disbelief, since I have been trying to convince myself this medication was not the problem since November. Well, its a couple months later and sure enough, I am back to googleing "cymbalta side effects". I am literally at the end of my rope, It is 2014, and I demand a better life.
I went on Cymbalta due to pain that no one has ever been able to figure out. It is a very, very long story, but it is related to lupus in some senses, and has been diagnosed as arthalgia. Anyway, I had been doing well I guess with pain by treating it with Aleve and Tramadal for close to thirteen years. I'm 24 now, and the pain began when I was ten or so. Last summer (June 13) I was in and out of the hospital for stomach ulcers that destroyed my stomach, caused my entire intestinal system to basically stop functioning, and all due to Aleve. I was taken off Aleve right away (which, mind you, was one of the scariest times of my life. I was expected to just 'deal' with the pain). After realizing I was never going to be able to be on Aleve again, I searched for a new medication to help. I have been on Lyrica and other medications like it, but they made me kinda crazy. I stopped cold turkey after one night of intense hallucinations and complete detachment from reality. So, that category of medication was out of question. I have suffered from mental illness throughout my life here and there, I had pretty bad depression in high school and had some problems with drugs in early years of college (about 21/22). Anyway, I've thought of going on a anti-depressant before, so the idea of Cymbalta sounded very nice. So, as of late August 2013 I starter taking it, 30mg 1x a day. three weeks later, I went up to 60mg, felt slightly nauseated, a little weird, but was perscribed Zofran to help with that. I was still hardly eating due to my stomach ulcers healing, and had lost close to 40 pounds ince June. I was also recently diagnosed with ADHD and had began taking Adderal, finally, for my symptoms. Things were going great at this point. Then October hit.
My doctor wanted me to stay at 60mg longer, but I really enjoyed how I felt, and thought more is better. So we went up to 90mg. The next morning, I felt like a truck hit me. I didnt make the connection, thought I was just not feeling good or was dehydrated from my ADD meds. A week went by and the headaches persisted, and then my hands began to feel 'funny', or tingely. Then came the twitches. And then the nightmares, and the nightterrors, which left me waking drenched in sweat screaming in my apartment, alone. At this point my headaches were so bad I was considering going to the ER when they were present, and my mom made the suggestion (shes a RN) to go back down on my cymablta and see if that helps. Well, shit. Neither of us new any of the side effects of this medication, so I just went down in dose to 60mg again. And then, things went from bad to worse. All of a sudden I got vertigo that was unlike anything else I have ever expereienced. The world was moving, I was acting wthin it, talking, moving, you know, normal life, but I felt completely detached from it. I felt that I was watching a movie, not connected to what was happening in any way. It got so bad that I went to the emergency room, which of course, did nothing expect make for a very large medical bill. The symptoms eventually subsided after about another week, though I still felt aggitated and not myself.
November was a guessing game, constantly asking myself how I was doing, and others doing the same. Decemeber was one big irritable mess- I was mentally not good, yelling one minute, crying the next. Finally, this past week I spent time with my sister who has Bipolar. We got on the subject of how I was feeling, and she said that some of the feelings resembled her epidsodes of mania. This made me worried, so I researched the connection between bipolar and cymbalta, seeing if there is any connection. There is a lot of bipolar in my family, two sisters my dad and three aunts/uncle has it, though I myself never looked into it. I was shocked to find out that Bipolar can be triggered by Cybalta, causing you to cycle very quickly. That is basically what December felt like to me. Whether or not it is Bipolar or if it is all just side effects of Cymbalta, I have HAD IT. I have had enough issues in my life, and I am DONE with this medication. DONE. Not to mention, I leave in March for 5 months to China, where mental breakdowns are not going to be accepted. Im doing my final practicum for my Literacy Minor for Teaching Degree in Macau, and then going to Thailand for some mental relief and to find myself through a few yoga retreates, and then at a monestary, living a full buddist life for a month. I have wanted to do this for YEARS, most likely my life, and I am not going to let this medication stand between me and my personal spiritual journey.
So, starting tomorrow I am going to go from 60mg to 30mg for the next week. I am going to keep everything else exactly the same, meaning 3 doses of 10mg adderal 4 hours apart, 100mg tramadol at bed time, same thyroid meds (same for 2 yrs), fish oil (at recomended doses for helping with drawls), Addernal suppliments suggested by my natropath, b12 , zofran (1 tab at night), and benadryl, since I am expecting sleeping to be difficult. School starts tomorrow, and this quarter is hard. I work out a lot, and practice yoga daily. I eat very healthy, have been gluten free, diary free and soy free for a long time. Working on corn currently, and will continue on that. This first week I am going back to what I know my stomach does great on, coconut water, carrot juice, baby food and eggs. So not fun, but it gets me through the day.
I've given up on doctors a long time ago. They have never helped me when I needed it, they have only been there to patch the wounds when they get too bad. I'm doing this on my own. If I have been able to survive what I have in my short life so far, I can do this. I can do this, I can and I will. I deserve a better life.
This all came on because yesterday and today the vertigo began again, for no particular reason. I am exhausted. I want my mind back. I watched my favorite movie, one where many scenes make me sob, and i didnt shed a tear. I feel hopeless, lost, and done. I want my life back, even if it means pain also. I can deal with pain, this? This i cannot deal with.
Please, please respond and support me. My mom cannot handle anymore phone calls from me being upset and alone. I am looking into getting into counseling, but mydad unexpectedly took me off his insurance so I dont have any until Feb 1st. This month is going to be hard, but I will make it. Postivie thinking, its going to get me through this lol
)
