31 replies to this topic

[thatstheoldme]

hey guys,

[equuswoman]

hey guys,

I was just wondering about the support that everyone is feeling at the moment... how's your family and friends, do they understand what you are going through?

 

i honestly feel like everyone thinks i'm making it up so I don't have to have any responsibility for anything, they think i'm lazy and i'm just feeling sorry for myself lying in bed all the time.

 

although they say they aren't, i feel so paranoid.

 

also i've spoken to other people about it and they are like oh yeah i've come off an anti depressant, etc but i know cymbalta has a short half life and yes although people have come off certain drugs, they make out like it's easy but they've never experienced cymbalta.

 

im so grateful for all you guys out there.

xo

 

nattsie we can't control what others may think or say about us. What is important is that we know that we are not making this stuff UP. What's great IMO is that the ppl here on this support forum know just what we are experiencing. They believe us, they relate to us, they encourage us as we go down the road trying our very best to get off this Cymbalta crap. We will make it w/each other's help. I know that we can. No matter how slow we may  have to go. We will continue doing our bead counting until we are in the future free of this evil drug Cymbalta. Sending support, caring hugs & love your way from TheEquusWoman

[fishinghat]

Yea Nattsie. I am blessed with the greatest wife in the world. She has made things so much easier for me. As far as my friends well most seem just uneasy about it, a little scared of it because they don't understand. I can understand how they feel but in general I have had good support. So important.

[thismoment]

Nattsie

 

You've mentioned the paranoia and fearfulness a couple of times, and I'm wondering if that's anxiety, for that is how I described it until I learned what it was. 

 

Don't take this as advice or a recommendation, but for me I found that just having Ativan in the medicine cabinet reduced my anxiety. Should the anxiety rise into the panic threshold, of course I would take an Ativan.

 

For me, the anxiety was something I had known before, and it re-emerged during withdrawal from Cymbalta and just got in the way.

 

I know you're not just making this up!! I know what you are going through!! 

 

Natalie, don't try to heal them- take care of yourself. 

[equuswoman]

Yea Nattsie. I am blessed with the greatest wife in the world. She has made things so much easier for me. As far as my friends well most seem just uneasy about it, a little scared of it because they don't understand. I can understand how they feel but in general I have had good support. So important

I 2 have a great understanding DH and DD. They have read the info here on the site and this was a great help 2 me for me 2 know that they can sorta understand the S/S of withdrawal. I have had some really rough days/nites when I was in w/d coming off the cold turkey way. This hasn't been easy by any means but a lot better. WE are here for you, don't forget that. We will make this difficult journey thru whatever comes and make it OUT on the other side! Much support, love and caring TheEquusWoman

[equuswoman]

Nattsie

 

You've mentioned the paranoia and fearfulness a couple of times, and I'm wondering if that's anxiety, for that is how I described it until I learned what it was. 

 

Don't take this as advice or a recommendation, but for me I found that just having Ativan in the medicine cabinet reduced my anxiety. Should the anxiety rise into the panic threshold, of course I would take an Ativan.

 

For me, the anxiety was something I had known before, and it re-emerged during withdrawal from Cymbalta and just got in the way.

 

I know you're not just making this up!! I know what you are going through!! 

 

Natalie, don't try to heal them- take care of yourself. 

 

thismoment: Gosh never thought of it like that! Thanks for some more info!  TheEquusWoman

[fishinghat]

Watch that Ativan (lorazepam) though. It is very addictive and has a nasty withdrawal itself. Keep its usage to a bare minimum.

[equuswoman]

Watch that Ativan (lorazepam) though. It is very addictive and has a nasty withdrawal itself. Keep its usage to a bare minimum.

 

Hi fishinghat....have a blessed day! TheEquusWoman

[Kindorf]

Hey nattsie, I have no family near by and just moved to where I am at so no friends here yet. So right now this site is my support. I try not to bother others with my problem for fears of they won't understand. Here I know they will understand.

[fishinghat]

"bother" Kindorf? No such a thing. We are always here for you.

[thismoment]

Fishinghat- glad you mentioned the addictive nature of Ativan, and I agree that it's to be used sparingly.

 

Anxiety is terrifying and very debilitating, and lorazepam certainly alleviates this. Are there any equally effective, but less addictive drugs for this ailment?

[fishinghat]

One of the 'hot' items around here is hydroyzine. It is not habit forming and has no withdrawal. It is slightly less effective than the average benzo. It worked moderately well for me.

[thatstheoldme]

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[thatstheoldme]

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[lovemy3girls]

I have no support from my husband, he is ready to leave me.

[lovemy3girls]

Not sure why my previous post has lines through it. My husband is very unemotional, he doesn't understand why you just can't stop something and be fine,. Unless I am bleeding out he doesn't see a problem. I get so angry and we are literally on the verge of divorce, I told him that if he wants the old me back then, this is what I have to do. Been off almost 8 weeks and still horrible withdrawal symptoms. I even tapered for 11 months. UGH! 

[fishinghat]

Read my post on your other entry. As far as yoour husband is concerned explain it like this. Alcohol acts as a neurotransmitter. After the alcohol wears off you go through withdrawal, headaches, shakes, feeling bad. THIS IS WITHDRAWAL. The only difference is the withdrawal for cymbalta is far worse!!

[lovemy3girls]

Fishinghat, thank you so much for putting it this way, I am going to talk with him tonight. I can't continue to be around someone who is not supportive, or maybe he just doesn't know what to do. After all we've been through how can a stupid pill tear us apart?!?!

[fishinghat]

When you talk to him remind him that when drunk how easy is it to just walk straight? If you have a headache for a hangover. Just concentrate and it will go away right? I am sure he will understand. Best of luck.

[Timbo]

Fishinghat, thank you so much for putting it this way, I am going to talk with him tonight. I can't continue to be around someone who is not supportive, or maybe he just doesn't know what to do. After all we've been through how can a stupid pill tear us apart?!?!

I just commented on your other post...I wanted to tread lightly, since I don't know you or the details of your situation at home.  But part of me did think that your husband may feel helpless on the other side of this equation.  I can only imagine how I must come across to people close to me right now.  There is nothing they can do to help me, and there is no way they can understand this experience if they aren't going through it.  So I just keep things to myself and vent here.  I have told my closest friends that I am doing this tapering off of Cymbalta.  My purpose in telling them was more of a "warning shot" - as in "hey...sometimes I may appear a bit edgy.  Please don't take it personally.  Sometimes I'm not feeling so great."  But that's all I say.   I find that the less I talk about it to the people around me, the healthier those relationships are.    I have WANTED to talk about it with them sometimes, but when I think about my objective in wanting to tell them; I don't see that it really is necessary or adding any value to the situation.  They still won't understand, and I am just setting myself up to be feeling misunderstood.   So...I don't set myself up, and I try not to label them as being insensitive.  As I said earlier, I'm sure I have appeared insensitive at times myself.    Experiences like this are good for building character, that's for sure!       

[lovemy3girls]

I think you're right, he does feel helpless. I know that when he gets home from work, I isolate myself and that really upsets him, but on the other hand when I am edgy and short to him (which I don't mean to be) he doesn't understand that it's what I'm going through right now. So when he brings up me spending to much time alone in my room, I tell him it's cause I don't want to argue especially when he doesn't try to understand. He says I quit cocaine 15 years ago and I'm fine why can't you be fine? I love him and will do anything to salvage my marriage, but I will not stop this process. I have to push through and hope he's there when the "old" me returns. I have a close girlfriend who knows what I am going through since she has gone through this in the past, she gets it when I say hey, I can't talk I don't feel well. I think my husband misses all the fun we used to have, I do too

[thatstheoldme]

.. 

[Timbo]

I think you're right, he does feel helpless. I know that when he gets home from work, I isolate myself and that really upsets him, but on the other hand when I am edgy and short to him (which I don't mean to be) he doesn't understand that it's what I'm going through right now. So when he brings up me spending to much time alone in my room, I tell him it's cause I don't want to argue especially when he doesn't try to understand. He says I quit cocaine 15 years ago and I'm fine why can't you be fine? I love him and will do anything to salvage my marriage, but I will not stop this process. I have to push through and hope he's there when the "old" me returns. I have a close girlfriend who knows what I am going through since she has gone through this in the past, she gets it when I say hey, I can't talk I don't feel well. I think my husband misses all the fun we used to have, I do too

I'm not sure I would compare getting off of cocaine to Cymbalta.  One is a recreational drug and the other is a prescribed medication.  I don't know what it's like to stop taking cocaine...who knows? Maybe this is worse.  Men sometime just don't know how to say the right thing...I know, since I am one!  lol  He may be using that example as a means of trying to connect with you and vice versa.  Right now he may feel like saying something like that will be a place he can share in common with you right now.    Unfortunately, it is just making you feel more alienated.  I'm just trying to look at things objectively, since I do believe as nattsie said...you want things to be back to normal again.  If you can, try to find something positive for your focus between you and your husband...even something small.    As I said earlier, I don't know all of the details...I'm just hoping that a little positive could bring more "peace" in the house.  It might be a worthwhile investment to experiment.     Please feel free to tell me to be quiet if I am saying too much.   It's not my business...just want you to feel better.   

[lovemy3girls]

Nattsie, yes I want to slap the hell out of people sometimes!! I also cry for no damn reason, if I knew why maybe I could control it.. It's so hard explaining to people who haven't a clue and don't try to learn.. Timbo- I know he definitely doesn't have the right words, but always turning around like he's the victim here isn't fair at all. I know my suffering is disrupting my household. I told him today, please just fake it even if you don't get it, it might take some stress off me. I am going to see my therapist on Monday and taking him with me, she seems to think she can get through to him. We'll see.Peace in my house would be amazing... Thank you again to everyone in this forum, I am very grateful

[thismoment]

These are the times where you feel like slapping someone across the face, trying to make them understand what is happening!!!!  It's so frustrating isn't it? I feel like there are times when something is so simple and it's just like they don't get it? I was like crying uncontrollably a few days ago and my Dad was like why are you crying? and I was like I don't know and he was getting cranky at ME being like YOU MUST KNOW, YOU AREN'T CRYING FOR NO REASON... i was like what the actual hell, that's the problem. I'm just out of control.

 

I really hope you sort things out with your husband, it sounds to me like you really want to and that's really good. 

Hi Natalie

Most men don't get it. The boys are mechanics at heart- they look at everything from from the perspective of an automobile- they see you crying and ask why. You say, "I don't know." because, well, you really don't know. None of us fundamentally really knows why we do anything. But the man is thinking, "Hey little girl, your engine seems to be running a little rough, and it's making me uncomfortable. Do you think you might need a tune-up? Or maybe try a higher octane fuel? Why don't you just come down to the shop and we'll shoot you up on the hoist and have a good look around. If it's not your engine or tranny, it could be your rear end!"

 

Girls- if you find a man that opens with, "Tell me how I can help," hang onto him.

[lovemy3girls]

Hi Natalie
Most men don't get it. The boys are mechanics at heart- they look at everything from from the perspective of an automobile- they see you crying and ask why. You say, "I don't know." because, well, you really don't know. None of us fundamentally really knows why we do anything. But the man is thinking, "Hey little girl, your engine seems to be running a little rough, and it's making me uncomfortable. Do you think you might need a tune-up? Or maybe try a higher octane fuel? Why don't you just come down to the shop and we'll shoot you up on the hoist and have a good look around. If it's not your engine or tranny, it could be your rear end!"
 
Girls- if you find a man that opens with, "Tell me how I can help," hang onto him.

This is so true, I don't think I have ever met a man that says that. I am having a hard time with overreacting lately and that is really hard for my husband. I work p/t I am a f/t student (online classes) I am a stay at home mom to a teenager and a toddler (very crucial ages) and have three dogs, laundry and an entire house to tend to. So for me I feel so overwhelmed. I get mad when he looks at me like you're still having a hard time? Really?? YES!!!! I AM!! I know I am an emotional rollercoaster and if I could flip a switch to change that I would, I just need to work on channeling my frustrations elsewhere. I have to stop expecting my husband to understand and realize I'm in this by myself,I really am, nobody can do it for me. With the help of everyone here I know I will get through and be the old me that my loved one's miss. Vent over! Hugs to all xxxx

[Clara]

Another star in your crown for that one , this moment!!!!!

[Donnaprashad]

Natalie I know how you feel. I. Having an extremely bad time today. Lots of Inlaws are here for Christmas and I can't come out of my room. I feel completely alone and so very sad. I hate this feeling but I can't help it. So I know you can't control what you are feeling. I thought I could do this with self control but I was wrong. I do pray a lot but I'm having a hard time with that right now too. I'm so ready for this to end. The only people who understand this are the people on here. We will get through this!

[gail]

hey guys,
I was just wondering about the support that everyone is feeling at the moment... how's your family and friends, do they understand what you are going through?
 
i honestly feel like everyone thinks i'm making it up so I don't have to have any responsibility for anything, they think i'm lazy and i'm just feeling sorry for myself lying in bed all the time.
 
although they say they aren't, i feel so paranoid.
 
also i've spoken to other people about it and they are like oh yeah i've come off an anti depressant, etc but i know cymbalta has a short half life and yes although people have come off certain drugs, they make out like it's easy but they've never experienced cymbalta.
 
im so grateful for all you guys out there.
xo

Time for something new!

[siggyd17]

My husband is pretty supportive..however, he hates me being on meds. He didn't think they would help. They helped some. But I'm noticing that I don't NEED these to be happy. I'm still needing something for pain and migraines, but I think the depression will be ok as long as I have my support system, which includes this forum. It makes me want to keep going when I hear people saying they are x amount of days off cymbalta and are doing well, with no more withdrawal symptoms. It makes me hopeful. My family really doesn't know much, but I keep it that way because they have enough going on. There are times when I just want to cry, and I'm not one to just sit and cry..I hate crying. lol! But sometimes, people don't understand why or what's going on. So, I hold it in until I get some place "safe". I'm trying so hard to keep my head up, and keep my brain busy. The brain zaps/slow downs, and the pain suck so badly. I suffered from migraines before I started this med. I'm sitting here freezing my booty off, yet sweating like a stuck pig. This sucks all kind of ways. Please though, keep sharing those stories because it's what I have that's keeping me going. I'm going to be honest, I'm scared to death right now. I don't wanna be depressed or sick or anything. It scares me that my brain will just think like that without me doing anything really. So, I'm keeping positive by reading success stories, and reading about how people are doing better after the worst parts. I know it gets better, it HAS to. For now, I'm feeling just very blah.