2 replies to this topic

[annemarie]

So my girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years this march. When we first met she was not on cymbalta. Our entire first year and a half all we did was fight. Then she decided to get and the dr put her on cymbalta. Since then things have been a million times better. just recently w forgot to schedule her drs appointment and so we haven't been able to refill her prescription until she has a visit with him, so she's been without cymbalta for 5 days now. For the most part everything had been ok, just maybe a little emotional, until tonight we got in a huge fight about nothing. It's just like it used to be. She gets frustrated with me because ”I don't get it”, and the truth is, I don't. If she is aware that she's overreacting, then why can't she just not overreact?

The other part is, I love her with every part of me, but I'm starting to feel that I don't love the real her, I love the her on meds, and that sucks. I don't know what I'm supposed to do/feel/house I'm supposed to act. I feel like a jerk..., I'm app lost. Any advice?

[Harleygirl]

If you were a jerk honey you wouldnt care at all and I can see you do. I guess you have to just try to be patient with her and your comment about loving her on drugs is really not reality, You love her, period, drugs or no drugs or you wouldnt be reachingout for help. When she is medicated, she is the same girl, just with more emotional balance. Keep trying.

[Piper4Ninja]

So my girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years this march. When we first met she was not on cymbalta. Our entire first year and a half all we did was fight. Then she decided to get and the dr put her on cymbalta. Since then things have been a million times better. just recently w forgot to schedule her drs appointment and so we haven't been able to refill her prescription until she has a visit with him, so she's been without cymbalta for 5 days now. For the most part everything had been ok, just maybe a little emotional, until tonight we got in a huge fight about nothing. It's just like it used to be. She gets frustrated with me because ”I don't get it”, and the truth is, I don't. If she is aware that she's overreacting, then why can't she just not overreact?

The other part is, I love her with every part of me, but I'm starting to feel that I don't love the real her, I love the her on meds, and that sucks. I don't know what I'm supposed to do/feel/house I'm supposed to act. I feel like a jerk..., I'm app lost. Any advice?

I know you posted this awhile back..I wanted to respond anyway. I do hope that things worked out for the best. I hope you see this post as well.

First of all, there is obviously something good at the base of your relationship as you were going on 3 years this month. The fact you had a lot of fighting the first year and a half, then things improved greatly when she started Cymbalta, says a lot. I know as a healthy person never experiencing life with emotional issues, disorders, or physical issues ...it is so hard to "get it". Wondering why "she just no overreact" is normal. You have to understand though, that is the same as telling someone in a wheelchair who is paralyzed "why don't you just get up and walk". You are probably thinking, no way, totally different. No, hun it isn't. For some of us our brains are wired differently, it is not anyone's fault if their brain just isn't working the way society expects it to, or how it should even. People who get Alzheimer's can't simply just start to remember again, no, it is not that simple. If she was given Cymbalta for depression then she obviously has things going on you may or may not know about. People who are depressed are not so because they wish to be, nor can that "snap out of it" ..if she was given the med for pain, then the fact she lives in pain alone is enough to cause emotional issues, then add meds to that. Sadly at this point in time for those of us suffering mentally or physically and take meds it is often a catch 22. Your symptoms are relieved with meds, but the meds themselves causes other issues ..then God forbid you run out of meds as in her case, and then you have withdrawals ..on top of base issue med was given for.

When she tells you that you don't get it, know she is just as frustrated as you are at herself because she can't explain it to you so you do get it. I really hope you guys made it through her not having meds and didn't breakup, especially during a time for her that I can speak from experience is HELL. Coming off Cymbalta I nearly lost my husband, it almost destroyed my life.

They gave me Cymbalta for pain, I have Fibromyalgia and am in pain 24/7 365 days a year. It is just a fact, I live with it, I am not ashamed of it, I am past crying over people who don't believe. I own it, it doesn't own me. That kind of thinking takes a long time to get to. Anyway, it didn't do anything for my pain, and the side effects were awful for me. I stuck it out, the Dr insisting that it will work. After months of suffering he said "I have patients who are losing empathy on this med, so I want you to stop taking it. Just throw away what you have" The days, and months that followed nearly ruined my life. The anger, the outbursts, the depression, brain zaps..it was hell. I couldn't tell anyone how to help me I didn't know what was going on.

Even within the first five days ..know that your gf was in hell, trapped, times like those if you do love her which I think you do. Support her, be there for her. Don't take things personally, and know she would change it if she could.