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[whattodo]

This is my first time on here and posting, and I'm really hoping someone can help, and I will try to make this story as brief as possible. I've been with my husband 11 years, 7 of which he spent in the Army. in 2009 he got into an IED accident which left his back messed up. He can walk but he has to use a cane and his quality of life has definitely changed. We used to ride motorcycles, take the dogs for walks, just simple stuff like that. Now he can walk but he has flare ups and is in pain most of the time. He started cymbalta shortly after he came back home and has been on it since. Since then his mood and personality have changed so drastically. It's not just a matter of trying to think of ways to lift his spirits anymore, he has become cold, cruel, and so bitter and just to me. He will literally be sweet as pie to the neighbors but the minute we shut the door to our house he becomes a crazy person, yelling at me for anything from using his towel to not telling him what tab is open on the computer. At first I would cry and argue back, but that didn't work so I began just saying nothing, trying to ignore the mood swings but he gets more in my face and even colder. The things he said to me last night, I think he hates me. I'm not being overdramatic, I am seriously walking on more than eggshells everyday. I have been honest and faithful all 11 years but he says things like i want a boyfriend, and i'm an evil bitch. I don't know what to do. I love my husband dearly and I know this isn't the man I married. Or is it??? Does cymbalta change you for good? What can I do to get through to him? It is so heartbreaking because I look into his eyes and I don't even see him anymore. He's dead behind the eyes. I found a rolled up 20 and a straw and confronted him and he confessed that he's been snorting oxycodone that is stronger than what he is prescribed. Sometimes he doesn't eat for DAYS. Sometimes he will not sleep for a whole day and recently he's been sleeping until 4pm. I'm completely lost over this and I fear that we will be headed for divorce if we don't do something. I don't want to end up making a mistake and regretting it later and i would never abandon him but I can't live like this. I have constant anxiety over what he's going to get enraged about next. Someone please I hope you have some advice because I really need it. I would really love to hear from someone who has gone through this before, on either end of it. Thanks.

[wifeof0311]

Without going into too much, I would suggest contacting the closest Veterans Administration Medical Clinic. My husband was in the marines and has been diagnosed with PTSD. With your husband going through the IED things, it could very well be what has "changed" him. More than likely, he will need an antidepressant or medicine for pain, but both of you will learn more about each other if you go through PTSD Couples Groups, as my husband and I have. "Walking on eggshells" is a perfect description from so many wives. Just try to understand that your husband is not the same as he was before, but you can make it through it if you reach out for help! Best wishes and God bless!