563 replies to this topic

[invalidusername]

Texan? Oh, IUN you are having a hard life aren't you? I am from Missouri!!  Not that there is a lot of difference.  lol

 

OMG - my geography of the US is terrible!! You are mid-west!!! I was obviously having a dull moment. 

 

Of course what with all the floods you endure, it should have flagged up that I was wrong in assuming Texas!!

 

Only known each other for 6 years - give me a little consideration.. LOL!!!!

[invalidusername]

Good response from Looney, but siding with Hat we need to know doses to give our best opinion as it can make all the difference - especially when combined with other drugs...

 

IUN

[looneytune]

1/2 tabs 15mg dose once a week or 2nd week for two days tops......VERY little

[fishinghat]

I wouldn't think that would be an issue.  

 

You can do this. Remember, this is "be kind to yourself" month.  lol

[looneytune]

I wouldn't think that would be an issue.  

 

You can do this. Remember, this is "be kind to yourself" month.  lol

LOL, saw doctor yesterday on a non mental health issue and at end of session she asked "how I was" meaning, how was I in the nerves department

 

I explained how it was and she said I was doing well and said....."Be kind to yourself John"

 

I kid you not. My sisters and wife have been using this self same mantra on me for years.......Hmmmm, Are folk trying to tell me something,I wonder? 

 

All the best friends 

 

xx

[looneytune]

stopped 5 weeks ago today but since then it has not been great......today, like a lot of other days, feel a bit detached* with feelings of impending doom

 

i guess i just need some of that reassurance again folks that what is wrong with me at the moment is i am in the eye of the WD storm and is to be expected at this point and perfectly normal and it will improve....

 

xxx

 

 

 

* it's almost like the real me has gone somewhere and won't be back. Scary shit 5 weeks out

[fishinghat]

"...what is wrong with me at the moment is i am in the eye of the WD storm and is to be expected at this point and perfectly normal and it will improve...."

 

Oh yea, no doubt.

 

"it's almost like the real me has gone somewhere and won't be back."

 

Boy, do I remember that feeling. The good news is that it does return but time and patience is the key.  By the way, I love the previous post of yours. I keep chuckling over it.

[looneytune]

[LeVana]

oh you mean derealization/depersonalization? it's the worst and scariest feeling i ever experienced.
and it's so difficult to explain to other people. they give me strange looks like 😳😧

[looneytune]

Thinking out loud....

 

It's been all of two years or so trying to find an anti depressant that suits me. I've tried Citalopram/Mirtazapine/Sertraline/Venlafaxine/Diazepam and the dreaded Duloxetine

 

All of these drugs brought their own problems to me and it was not always problems with heightened anxiety and depression, there was the constant shits and weight loss and inability to pee

the list of problems goes on and on...I would start a course of meds and shortly afterwards it was apparent that they were not for me but I would continue to take them under doctors orders as these meds sometimes take many months to work,right?

 

So, after taking a new drug for 12 or 16 weeks ( always with Diazepam as a buffer) I would have to face the unpleasant prolonged task of WITHDRAW and then move on to the next drug. Sometimes I would be withdrawing two at a time (DUL/Diazepam) So, dear reader I am now drug free and hope to keep it that way, but all these nerve shredding medical experiments have took their toll on me, I am not yet my old self

 

Sometimes I feel as though the corner has been turned but I am afraid to believe it since I have had many,many disappointments in the past when I thought I was out of the woods....I'm afraid to believe I'm OK in case it goes tits up on me, that's so messed up I think

 

I have been so passive for two years and not displayed some of the different emotions and behaviour like anger or assertiveness....it's almost like I need to relearn how to tell folk to piss off...know what I mean?    Although a rebirth is perhaps some way off I can definitely feel it and see it now when for years, I had no idea where the old me went. A new attitude is required and the belief in oneself that it is safe and will work and it's OK to be happy and stress free. Maybe some folk here will understand this and perhaps they won't IDK

 

God, my dear wife who has helped me through this ordeal with hardly an ill word to me. I have to learn not to focus of the negatives and guilt feelings like this any more and move on and perhaps see things in a different light with the passing of time.

 

One thing I believe to be helpful in situations like this is to be easy on self and go with the flow, but if I am honest, this was something I never managed,it's not how I am built....ach well

 

Thinking out loud session over for the day 

 

John

xx

[fishinghat]

So many people go through the mulit-antidepressant experience. There have been a lot of research on why these work on one person and not another. No clear answers for sure. Trial and error medicine.

[looneytune]

Been having a wee run of good days and a rare feeling of power* returning.......... (I am 6 weeks free tomorrow)

 

Yesterday out of the blue that feeling of impending doom and anxiety returned after a decent run of good days...Damn, how am I supposed to learn to relax when I can expect/anticipate this feeling to descend on me at any given time? I then start to worry and fret over my health issues and my wife's too and start to imagine all sorts of health related horror stories. It goes from anxiety to depression

 

To be fair, these episodes are becoming less frequent and intense but debilitating nonetheless, and having some nights of what can only be described as a fever.....very hot and uncomfortable

 

Is all this to be expected @ 6 weeks free...how come I am going through all this when others waltz through it? That thought makes me doubt myself at times and sometimes see myself as a weak, moaning phoney......any thoughts/help/advice on these issues guys and gals? I am having yet another lost and worried time and wonder if my time on DUL30 is to blame......I don't think my problems/anxiety can be run of the mill anxiety that I could expect to experience anyway, despite the DUL30 WD as the episodes or so transient...IDK

 

* power.....before I started on the Cymbalta I was regularly exercising and with some gusto, as soon as I started on the CYM the exercising remained in place but the gusto was GONE..half effort sort of a thing. I am now noticing some return to "gusto" and that's cheered me up somewhat

 

 

xxx

[fishinghat]

Classic LT. The good times will slowly get longer and the bad times shorter but it still requires a lot of patience. 

[invalidusername]

I remember worrying after a run of better days - you think it is all going to do wrong.

 

It was a no-win situation. If you are having a shit day then you stuck with and then when you are having a better day, you are worried that it won't last and just wait for the shit to return. 

 

So difficut to just left stuff "happen". 

 

This it is good to keep a diary as stats don't lie so you can make yourself feel better by looking over them to reassure yourelf that the bad times do not last.

[looneytune]

A follow up to my post above 11th April...

 

Day 5 of this latest set back...some detachment...dreadful anxiety (like that feeling you get in your chest when you get the most awful news) and as a chaser, some good ol' depression just for laffs

It is so intense that I have convinced myself it has nothing at all to do with DUL30 WD and is in actual fact the way forward and the new me from this point onward...it cannot simply be WD,can it?

 

No appetite for any activities at all...once again,God bless my wife,I am so lucky in life to have found her. I have a wee theory...I am noticing a pattern that may or may not be relevant.

 

When I am having a good spell of normality I do far too much physical exercise to the point of exhaustion. Two separate 2 hours spells throughout the day is common place and I sometimes forget I am 69 and have some significant physical health issues and going up hills as fast as my legs can take me would be challenging enough for an able bodied dude 20 years younger without COPD and Ankylosing Spondylitis . It's not the first time 4 days of intensive exercise has left me burned out mentally and unable to cope or continue, is there a connection you think?

 

and........after 28 days on Omeprazole 20mg/steroid nasal spray/anti histamine (Fexofenadine) I stopped them all same day and could be getting some rebound from GERD meds and perhaps some sort of WD or something? Probably just looking for something /anything to blame for the way I feel these past few days

 

I am sure I now have LPR reflux and these meds are so shit and only make IBS and stomach WORSE, so will try a different approach to alleviate problem of LPR

When I had a chest cold in December I was left with this LPR,congestion has not gone away. If I could manage to stay out of bed after breakfast (so tired after exercise) that would most likely be helpful as that in itself can cause LPR/GERD.....6 weeks and a few days free of DUL30 and not in a good place

 

Thanks for listening guys 

[fishinghat]

LPR/GERD. Hyoscyamine works wonders. Talk to your dr about it. 

[looneytune]

Omeprazole has put me off taking any drug for LPR reflux

[looneytune]

Last night (through the night) dreadful electric/acid rain skin.......starting to think it's an old WD from DUL right enough

[invalidusername]

Hey LT...

 

All these symptoms are coming right at you!! But really - you can rest assured that a lot of them are perfectly well known in Dulox withdrawal.

 

Skin sensory neurons being overly sensitive during withdrawal is a lot more common that you might think. Just go the the forum main page and search for "itchy shin" or similar and you will be surprised as just how many members have complained of this issue in the past. 

 

Fortunately I did not suffer from this - I don't think Hat did either, but plenty of others did.

 

Much like everything else, in time, these things will pass.

 

Hold time my friend

 

IUN

[LeVana]

hi looney,

i didn't feel symptoms like itchy skin sensations but at the beginning of dulox WD i got numb and tingling arms/legs. it took 3 months for it to get better.

LV

[looneytune]

An update.

 

Hi, Hope you are all well

 

I don't know how long it is since I tapered and stopped and I can't be arsed lookin' but it's been a few months..

 

A pattern is emerging.....I can have, or expect, 7 or 8 good/normal days when all is well and I am coping,thanks very much...

 

and then a little pang of anxiety kicks in and I imagine things are gonna go to shit,and they do! after the anxiety pang I am completely DRAINED of energy and usually emotions

and then the depression shows up just to keep the anxiety company. This can lay me out flat like the world is ending and it takes 2 or 3 days to get sorted in the head and energy department

 

It's almost like I can't enjoy the good days as I await the crash to follow...and I am scared of it,believe me,it's ugly,ugly,ugly

 

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH ME? Is this how I am now..is this how I have always been and it is NOTHING at all to do with the two withdrawals this past 9 months?

 

Can people have terrible depression and anxiety that's lasts for a week only to clear up and come back the week later after a respite? Or, even at this late stage is my ass still owned by Diazepam and Cymbalta WD's?

 

I can't go on like this and I don't want to revert to any kind of anti Depression med again....I'd rather not be here TBH than live like this. The anxiety and depression scares the shit out of me and even infiltrates my dreams to torment me

 

so, there you have it....I don't know if I am fucked in the head with week on week off depression or still at the mercy of Cymbalta

 

 

** tapered and finally stopped the DULOXETINE  beginning of March and that was after stopping Diazepam the previous month...the taper was an overlap

doing the two WD's at same time and finally stopped the Diazepam middle of February

 

Stopped DUL30 a week or so shy of 3 months ago and the diazepam 13 weeks ago

[looneytune]

LV/IUN/Hat...Y'all OK?

[LeVana]

hi looney,

it's typical to get these windows and waves during WD recovery. that's the worst part of it, i think... 'cause you're waiting for the next emotional crash every day. feels like a never ending roulette game.

i'm still alive but all days are difficult to endure. my severity of all symptoms improved from 10 to 7-8....after 9 months!! what a long ride! no more patience. my doc wants me to work - but i can't :-(

symptoms after 9 months: anxiety 24/7, depersonalization, dystonia, depression, brain zaps, back pain

[LeVana]

I can't go on like this and I don't want to revert to any kind of anti Depression med again....I'd rather not be here TBH than live like this. The anxiety and depression scares the shit out of me and even infiltrates my dreams to torment me

me too, looney 😒

[invalidusername]

Hi guys...

 

I am so sorry to read of your woes. Life can be so trying, it really can. I wish I had an answer.

 

I hate the month of May as I have my car insurance, car tax and car MOT/Road test. The expense is immense especially as I need four new tires which are over £400 alone, tax is another £380.... I can't add it all up as it will make me cry.

 

I am exhausted, but have to work to pay all this shit. 

 

Whenever you walk the street, you are never too far from someone going through something similar. 

 

I feel for you both - I really do. But life is here to teach us things we cannot learn in the afterlife. True enough we have complete freewill, and there have been many times when I have considered taking the "easy" option out - but that is what it is. The time we have here is a blink of an eye. 

 

It is the system that is corrupt and so bent out of shape.

 

I had the mental health "white-coats" come to visit me a while back and I told them that I am on a road to euthanasia by use of drink and that I am drink over a bottle of vodka a day (which I am not). That was 2 months ago. Letters were sent out to all the various people - including my doctor as they were "very concerned about me".

 

What have I heard since?! 

 

FUCK ALL.

 

That gives you some idea what the mental health service is like here. Why do they even dangle the carrot of hope of therapy and help when they know it won't be forthcoming?!

 

Sorry for the rant - but I guess we are all in the same situation, but I am always here and am always waiting to hear from you guys.

 

IUN 

[looneytune]

best of luck to you two guys and love and thoughts your way.....you are overdue some peace IUN xx

 

Your thoughts,IUN, on my post.........re my current state of mind...is it/could it be the WDs still working on me at this late stage? 12/13 weeks out

[fishinghat]

Believe it or not LT, this is good news. The rollercoaster is stable and predictable which indicates you are on the road to recovery. Each bad part of the cycle will be less intense and of less duration. I would say that 3 months from now you will still be in the rollercoaster BUT it will be much much easier to deal with. It is important during this time to stay away from stress as much as possible as it will set off the bad part of the cycle and rest and pamper yourself during the good parts of the cycle in order to try and extend it. Hang in there, you can do this.

[looneytune]

[looneytune]

I should say that I checked my notes and it's 6 months free (not 3 months) of Diazepam and 3 months free of DUL30's but I expect your replies would still be the same

[fishinghat]

Yes, and I still say you are doing exceptionally well considering what you have been through.